I came across an interesting theory about transference today on a discussion board about transference and the show "In Treatment." The poster said:
quote:in therapy, i suggest the transference occurs when the patient begins to fall in love with the self that has been repressed and sees that self mirrored in the therapist.
if you accept that concept, isn't it easy to see that taking oneself to therapy is an act of self love?
when the therapy works, the person is better able to love and accept self and learns how to create change for the better. the therapist/facilitator is the guide and through the good therapist's eyes, a person can begin to see self in a more loving, less frightening way.
For me, this hit home. In the very early stages of my situation with Dr. X, there was a song that I identified with this situation and the lyrics said: "I saw it/something in your eyes/I wanted it for myself." I always read it as wanting him for myself but what I "saw" in those early days was compassion. Compassion for ME. I have spent a lifetime being so hard on myself, reducing my own experiences, tearing myself down, and not being completely forthcoming. He has done none of those things. He has treated me with understanding, validated my experiences, shown compassion, caring and honesty, even when it was clearly counter-transferential and slightly blurred the boundary lines. He has shown me a human love that I desperately want to give myself. Because of seeing these qualities in him as a positive instead of a sign of weakness, I have been able to help myself by being more forthcoming about myself, of not reducing my own experiences down to nothing, of giving myself the self-compassion that I have been in need of. In a way, he is a mirror.
SG