Hi All

This is really interesting stuff especially the self-love reflection idea.

I met with my T yesterday. I'm still p"*sed with him. We've been so close and I'm not getting that from him now and I don't know if he is pulling away, if I'm pulling away or if it's just the process. He's still there for me but not in the same way. I don't see the compassion in his eyes or hear it in his voice - I don't experience him in the same way but I know he's there for me. I'm in a complete mess about it all. I'm crying a lot - not overly distressed or anything but I seem to be crying every time I'm on my own. It's like I'm grieving or am heartbroken. I know from your posts that some of you have experienced these emotions. I feel I'm in the grip of something and I want to go on and I want to stop at the same time.

He brought up the question of whether or not I was paying attention to the way I dress when I'm meeting him and I just bounced it right back and denied that there was anything in it, that I was usually dressed for work when I met him at the end of the day. I don't feel able to acknowledge that he might have something there....

I'm also tempted to make something up, I think to get his attention...have any of you ever experienced that? It's so childish and I'm having to work really hard not to do it. Like a friend of mine was held up at knifepoint and at every session since I've been tempted to pretend it was me.

I haven't told him this and I imagine you're all (well a few of the usual suspects anyway AG, JM, PL...) going to say I should.

I tell ya it's not gettin any easier!
Lady