quote:

I'm also tempted to make something up, I think to get his attention...have any of you ever experienced that? It's so childish and I'm having to work really hard not to do it. Like a friend of mine was held up at knifepoint and at every session since I've been tempted to pretend it was me.

HELLO LOS,
I GUESS THERE ISN'T REALLY ANY ONE OF US THAT HASN'T PLOTED OR EVEN FUDGED AN ISSUE WITH OUR T'S OR OUR HUSBANDS, OR FRIENDS, ETC. WHEN WE FEEL LIKE THERE IS AN ABSOLUTE NEED FOR SOME ONE ON ONE ATTENTION. GUESS WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS...YES, WE ALL THINK UP CHILDISH THINGS SOMETIMES...BUT TRUST ME THERE IS PLENTY OF THINGS THAT RISE UP IN SESSION MOST OF THE TIME THAT KEEP US TIED UP...I THINK MOST OF THE TIME THE CHILDISH IDEAS JUST PASS THRU YOUR MIND WHEN YOU GET BORED WITH THE CURRENT ISSUES..AND THAT IS FINE TOO..WE ALL HAVE ISSUES WITH OUR MINDS ANYWAY RUNNING AMUCK SOMETIMES...I MEAN COME ON GUYS...WE DIDN'T BUY OUR TRANSFERENCE AT WALMART!! LOL!! I DO BELIEVE IT ALL STARTED IN THE MIND RIGHT?? BUT WHAT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND IS THAT IF YOU FEEL THAT STRONGLY ABOUT DOING IT....TELL YOUR T THAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT...AND SHE WILL WORK YOU THRU IT...I CAN TELL MY NEW MS. T THINGS LIKE THAT THAT PASS THRU MY MIND..AND WE PROCESS IT AND GUESS WHAT...IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING I NEEDED TO GET OUT IN THE OPEN ANYWAY!!
IF I HAD THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT I COULD HAVE TALKED MY OLD MR T OUT OF DISMISSING ME....THERE IS NO TELLING WHAT I WOULD HAVE SAID..IF I THOUGHT I COULD HAVE STAYED IN JUST ONE MORE SESSION WITH HIM...I WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM I SAW HIS WIFE OUT TO DINNER WITH HIS ATTORNEY...OR BROTHER, OR DOCTOR, OR HIS DADDY .....I WAS SO DESPERATE TO KEEP HIM...I WOULD HAVE THREATENED TO JUMP OUT OF HIS 7TH STORY OFFICE WINDOW...BUT THAT WOULD HAVE ONLY GOTTEN ME IN LOCKDOWN!! ....I ALMOST BEGGED HIM ON MY KNEES TO GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE...HE TOLD ME "NO!!!..THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD....I'M NOT BACKING DOWN...AND I WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND!" YES, I HATED HIS GUTS ...YOU ALL KNOW THE STORY...SO DON'T FEEL SILLY OR ALONE...WE HAVE HAD THE SAME THOUGHTS I'M SURE...

ALSO FOR THE DRESSING FOR SESSION THING...YOU BETTER BELIEVE I DRESS THE PART EVERY TUESDAY...I GO RIGHT AFTER WORK...I TAKE MY MAKEUP, AND ACCESSORIES...SOMETIMES A WHOLE OTHER OUTFIT IN MY BAG...FIRST I WAS DOING IT BECAUSE OF THE TRANSFERENCE IN SESSION WITH HIM OF COURSE BUT NOW I DO IT...BECAUSE OF THE TRANSFERENCE SESSION OUT OF HIS OFFICE...BUT HE STILL SEES ME EVERY WEEK!!!...I EITHER WANT HIM TO SEE ME GETTING BETTER AND COPING WELL (BECAUSE I AM )...OR SHOWING HIM WHAT HE'S MISSING!!! ...(OKAY I MAY REGRESS EVERY NOW & THEN SO WHAT)...EITHER WAY....IT MAKES ME...CHARLOTTE FEEL BETTER TO LOOK MY ABSOLUTE BEST!! AND THAT IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT RIGHT?? FEELING OUR BEST AND MOVING PAST THIS PART OF OUR LIVES?...STICK IT OUT GUYS...WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT....EVEN IF SOMETIMES, WE MAY HAVE TO FAKE IT!! HAHA!! TALK TO YOU SOON, C.