Wow! The prompt responses are great. I'm not the only one home on a Friday night obsessing about obsessing ha ha!
I went through this back in July, my insurance stopped my sessions, and I acted all 'cool' at our last session, not knowing if I'd see him again. I bawled for days afterwards.
I could probably weasel another 5 sessions ($150/hr), however, I think I need to end this relationship. As much as I want to cling to him for dear life, I am concerned that its really unhealthy.
I loved the elephant/throwing peanuts at him analogy. I may use that line.
Yes, I think I need to just emotionally vomit it all over him. He MUST know.
We have an unusually close relationship. I do have his personal email, to his blackberry, when I went away for 2 months he asked me to keep in touch to 'see how I was doing'. I even got really drunk and emailed him at 4am a few weeks ago, pages of nonsense, and he never gave me crap about it. So I do realize there is more than a cold clinical thing. But I'm not stupid enough to think more.
I am scared to death about the 'breakup' feelings. The 'ending of the relationship'. He is my reason for being it feels. Every week on Thursdays I see him. It just IS.
I save it all up for him, I pre-plan what I'm going to say, wear, etc.

I love that I'm not alone, seriously. Thanks for the warm welcomes and understanding. My goal next week is to bring it up, first thing.
arg...i need SO much more than an hour!