travelluvr... I'm so glad you are feeling better. And I hope you sleep well.

I just want to add... and I don't know you and could be wrong... but perhaps since you had an abusive childhood then perhaps you also have attachment issues as well as the transference. If our caregivers who were supposed to protect us were the ones harming us it causes a child to develop an unsecure attachment which then causes all types of other problems in adulthood...things like depression, anxiety and the inability to trust and the inability to ask for real help when we need it. Moving toward someone and developing an intimate relationship (which is what happens in therapy) seems dangerous to us and we want to run from it or avoid it by keeping things light. Please feel free to disregard the above if it does not seem to apply. I just wanted to put it out there for you to consider.

If you thing this is something you want to explore do a google search on attachment theory or disorganized attachment. And then talk to your T about it.

He seems very willing to work with you and the fact that you have a strong connection is a very good thing and a basic step to real healing. I wish you all the best.

TN