Travelluvr,
Sorry it's taken so long to say welcome, I missed the thread. Not much to add, you've been getting great input from everyone. I'm looking forward to getting to know you, and you've definitely found the right place to find people who understand about transference and attachment issues.

AG

emerald,
I would consider that the "sweetie" was very genuine, that your T absolutely meant it, but the slip was in saying it out loud. Ts are supposed to maintain a certain detachment to be able to help us and part of the boundaries is not being overly affectionate with us to not hold out a promise of a relationship they not they can't fulfill. But they're human, and I think often have very deep feelings for their clients. It may be that in her heart she thinks of you as "sweetie" but realized that she shouldn't have said it out loud, especially to a client struggling with transference, which is why you saw "mistake" all over her face.

If you can, I think you should talk to her about how you felt when she called you that. I know that if my T said something like that, it would be a very big deal for me.

And I understand how difficult it is to have her refer you, my T of 17 years retired three years ago because she decided to go back to school and she was giving up her clinical practice. It was a difficult ending but I will tell you that, even though I was also angry about her leaving, I was also very sure about her love for me. It was difficult for both of us to say goodbye. From where we sit it seems like their decision is about us, but the only thing we have to do with it is to make it more difficult for them to leave.

AG