Well, I finally HAD to tell him and despite him not having any experience with transference it did not change anything at all. We are closer than ever and the intimacy is even more intense. I remember sitting for sessions after I told him and staring him down, trying to catch any, tiny, mininscule expression of disdain or coldness or judgement. Nothing. I even gave him In Session to read about transference that after I did I was also freaked out about it thinking ... oh he's going to think I'm one of those extreme cases and he is going to go all cold an clinical on me. Well, that never happened either and some weeks later I confessed my fears about lending him that book and he smiled at me and said "you know there ARE other books out there on this subject that I could read."
That sort of put my worry into perspective.The reason I came clean about the transference feelings is because I was pretty sure he already knew how I felt about him and he was a bit unsettled about it and it was clouding our therapy. It had to be put out there for discussion and I knew he would never bring it up. I don't think any T would. And so it's up to us.
Good luck with your decision but I have a good feeling that if you do bring it up you will be very relieved with the outcome... any maybe even happy that it's now out there for discussion.
TN