JUST ME:
thanks so much for responding. i needed to hear it--anything right now. sorry you're having a hard time in your therapy. i wish i knew how to help you.
i WANT to go back so badly, but i just don't think i can. he will think i'm SOOO stupid! i don't even know what to say. we don't talk like you guys do with your therapists i don't think. i mean, what the heck is attachment? he never brought up anything like that!!! i mentioned the transference, but sort of pushed it aside, mostly because it was so embarrassing. he didn't push the issue. i mean, isn't he supposed to make me face it to get to the bottom of it or something? i don't think he even cares. he didn't return my call that ONE time i called him. he knows i got very angry about that because i told him, but he never mentioned it again after that one session. i still don't know why he didn't return my call. all i know is that i must've not been worth the effort. i guess that is why he was so eager to get rid of me so he did not think i needed another scheduled appointment. i guess he didn't want to see me again. and i had decided to ask about termination that day before the session anyway, so i agreed. but he didn't even act interested. like ok, well have a nice life or something!!!
i am acting like such a cry baby today i know. and i AM crying, believe me. it hurts so much! i don't even know what hurts!! something just does.
a collegue of mine saw him today (per my suggestion) and i am so freaking jealous and upset!!! what is wrong with me?? i am NOT some desperate, needy, crazy person, REALLY!!! so, what gives here???
thanks for letting me vent. i might've exploded if i hadn't. haha. and i'm not so sure i'm finished, but that is all for now.