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so, does this meann that perhaps he DOES know what he is doing? i mean, i just really don't know. and how could a good therapist just let me walk away knowing i'm not done yet? what if i didn't go back? or what if that's not what happened and i DO go back? that would be awful too....

AJB, I really don't know how to asnwer that. I know this is going to sound crule to a trauma survivor, but you are goung to have to trust your gut and I know how impossible that feels. A good therapist has to let you feel, but they also need to help you contain and identify what those feelings are.

I am sorry but I forget, how long were you in therapy? It takes quite a while to develop a trusting bond with a T, but you should be able to identify at least if you are a match with him. If you have never felt that it may be worth "shopping around."

I would suppose that trying a different T and seeing how you connect with them would do no harm. I don't want to steer you away from a potentially wonderful T who knows you far better than I and has your best interest at heart. But I don't want to ignore the plaguing feelings of dissatisfaction I sense from your experience either. But this has to be your decision.

AJB, Close your eyes for a moment and take a deep cleansing breath then picture your T. Try to capture his facial expressions, his hair color, his voice and mannerisms. What is the qualities that you notice about him most?

Keep posting as much as you need to. Feel free to say what you need to express. It is all good and it all makes sense. You are in a painful place and sometimes you just need to hear yourself think. This is a good place to do that. I may be in and out, but I will be happy to reply and I know that there are many others who might jump in too. You're not a lone.
JM