quote:

once he told me "this (therapy) isn't forever"

AJB

I have been in therapy for over 2 years, and I am really only just feeling a little more comfortable about the transference thing. It took a long time for it to appear, and it took a REALLY long time for me to figure out what it was and that I am normal. During that time (and quite often still) the pain is excruciating. 5 months is a very short time as JM said. When I starting whining to my T about how long I have been in therapy, and I must be cracked, and probably no one else has been doing this so long.......she said "therapy takes as long as therapy takes."

I think you have gotten a lot of great advice on this thread and I won't repeat what everyone else said, especially because they said it so well, but I do agree with them. There is nothing wrong with going back to therapy. My T says that people "dip in and out" all the time. And it is just quite possible that you and this particular T are not a match. You probably won't know until you try someone else and see how that feels. Check out the thread about finding a T, there was great discussion on there. I know it can be frightening to think that you are starting all over with someone else, but if another T becomes a match, it will be the most wonderful feeling for you and it will help you to resolve what is bothering you.

travelluvr

You have two very big issues you are dealing with. I can tell that the friend thing is really bothering you and I can completely understand. The connection between you and your T is a very personal one and to have someone else pretend that they know what you are doing in your therapy is just wrong! It sounds like your T is very kind and is looking out for you, especially by changing her appointment and not yours. You have to talk to him about this and get his reassurance that he is there for you, and it has nothing to do with her. If you don't talk to him about this, I'm afraid you will keep hurting. And I know for me, when something about my T starts to hurt, I can really blow it up to a monstrous size and dwell on it until I am sick. (I'm not minimizing your feelings at all here)

The transference issue is also very big. And anyone of use on here can attest to this. We have so..... been there, and still are. Again, you HAVE to bring this up to get some relief for yourself. T's do not want to push or suggest things to us because we have to tell them what we are feeling. If they make suggestions about something that really isn't what we are feeling, then they put an idea into our heads that is not true. How awful would it be to spend session after session talking about something that really doesn't relate to you!

You may want to write down what you are feeling and thinking before your session so you don't get flustered (as much). You don't necessarily have to read it to him, but you would have the satisfaction of knowing you had it just in case. And you may not get through it all in one session. But getting a little bit of it out, whatever you can handle, will let off a little of what is building up inside you. This is a scary thing that you are doing, but the rewards will be more than you can imagine. I wish you luck.

PL