Questing,
Welcome to the forums, thanks for introducing yourself. This is a great place to come when dealing with transference issues as so many people are dealing with it.

As far as dependency, I know that it was a huge issue with me in working through this. I thought that dependency was automatically unhealthy in a theraputic relationship and to be avoided at all costs. I have since learned differently. For the issues that I'm dealing with (the need to form a secure attachment) it as actually been necessary for me to allow myself to be dependent on my T for awhile because getting what I need in terms of an attachment figure is the only way for me to grow independent in a way which also allows me to form healthy, intimate connections with other people. In a sense, I'm going back to correct some develop gone awry, so that I can learn to be healthy and interdependent in the here and now. For me, dependency was so terrifying because the last time I tried it with my parents, it really didn't work out well.

If you go back a few posts in this thread, there's a book General Theory of Love that I think you would find helpful. The chapter Between Stone and Sky directly addresses the dependency issue. I think I may have actually posted an excerpt on that in another thread.

But in any case, I would recommend reading Shrinklady's article on Transference and both the transference threads. You're posting in teh second one and here's the first one Update on Transference. There's a lot of good info.

Looking forward to getting to know you. Great username by the way!

Oh, and one more thing, have you talked to your T about how you feel?
AG