I had a pretty awesome session today. After the "I love you" call on Tuesday, I got it into my head that she was upset with me. Who knows why?? I'm crazy that way. I called her and left a dorky message about that. And that I thought she was going to terminate me.
Well, today she was totally confused as to why I was thinking that. Come to find out, she was upset at the beginning of my previous session (and my radar picked up on that) but, it was something personal and had absolutely nothing to do with me. She apologized profusely today and said that she should have taken a few extra minutes before she let me in, to compose herself.
I was a little POed at first as I had suffered a lot of pain, and I let her know it. I wasn't gonna let her off the hook too easily. She really was apologetic and took responsibility for the whole thing. So, I forgave her.
Then we did a lot of talking about why I would even think that she would terminate me. We also talked about trust and if I thought she would lie to me. (funny, SHE brought that up) That of course led to the abandonment issue. She then said, "What can I do to prove to you that I will never lie to you and I am not going away?" She said that she doesn't drop clients. I told her that there could always be a first time.
That actually made her laugh. She kept repeating that she was not going away and even said that her family was know to have longevity. So I guess we will be two 100+ yr. old women still doing therapy. Anyway, we got into some pretty deep stuff - enough to bring on a few tears - but the best part is that I felt an even closer connection to her. She was human. She made a mistake and owned up to it. And she held my hand very softly at the end of my session.
Gotta love her.PL