catgirl,

I know what you are saying. I get mad at his family sometimes about it. I just wish my T would call me to just check in on me! He only calls if I call first and have some good reason why I need to talk to him. Luckily he has been nice enough to let me have his cell phone number and email address so that it is easier for me to get ahold of him, plus he has his answering sevice, which I never go through that anymore. It sometimes frustrates him because I will call so much and he wont think it is an emergency. But the truth is that at the time it was an emergency, but then when I hear his voice it calms me down so much that it doesnt seem like a big deal anymore.

I dont have as much option on just not telling him what I dont feel like telling him. I have been seeing him for 10 years and if I am not willing to work on the transference issues and be completely honest then he will most likely end therapy. I understand why he has said that, because this is an important issue that needs to be dealt with and can really help me work on past issues. He will understand if I just take the baby steps and do a little each session. I am going to try that.

One of the hardest things for me right now is even trying to find a way to start the conversation when I go see him. I usually let him start all the conversations, and if he doesnt start this one and bring it up then I dont even know what to say or how to start it. At least I have until April 1st to figure it out.

I wish I could see my T every week but we are doing it once a month, but I do have the option of calling him and coming in sooner if I need to. He always leaves it where if I even called today I could come see him today. That always makes me feel a little better. But it is so freakin expensive and I already owe him a couple thousand dollars so it makes me feel bad to come in more when I can only afford once a month. I guess Ill just have to stick with calling him all the time.