quote:Damn, doctors actually know what they are talking about it.
LOL
quote:I never let people know how I feel and it gave me such a safe feeling to know that he knew exactly what I was feeling and basically what I was thinking and didnt talk about not seeing me or being mad at me. And when I looked into his eyes after awhile of staring out the window trying to avoid any and all eye contact while I talked about being in love with him, all I could see is that he really does care about me and wanted to be there for me and help me. It was the most amazing feeling ever!
How rewarding Pippi! To look at him and know that he was right there with you... attuned and supportive... it must have been so validating!
quote:My old therapist told me that I should be specific about the details about what I am thinking and feeling, even the sexual details because it will show me that I can tell him everything. So now that I know I am suppose to be that honest I will give him the exact details next time. I just hope he can handle it.
From what you say about him, I'm sure your P will be able to handle it. He knows how hard it is for you to be honest like that- I don't think he would jepordize that by over reacting.
quote:The only weird thing about the session was the fact that during parts of the session I was dissociating. I have never done that during a therapy session. It usually just happens when I am cutting. I didnt tell my psychiatrist that was happening because I didnt even know how to explain what was going on. I think I will have to bring that up next time I talk to him because I dont know if that is normal or if that is suppose to happen or what to do when it is happening.
I definitely think you should tell your P next time, like you said. I'm not sure if it's common or not, and I'm not sure what to do about, but I think it is important for him to know. And if you don't mind my asking, what did that feel like for you in session? I'm having some strange experiences in sessions with my t... and I'm trying to figure out what's going on with me!
quote:And by the time I left the session I wasnt even thinking about having sex with my P, I was thinking more of him like a father and a friend than anything else. And usually when I leave all I can think about is having sex with him.
I think this is HUGE Pippi! It might even be worth telling your p about. I just hope that you can hold onto this... and I don't mean so you won't think about having sex with him again, but so that you can know where being vulnerable with him can take you. Hopefully it will get less and less scary if you can remember where you might go with him AFTER you talk... less unexpecteed I guess.
Again Pippi, I'm so happy for you and proud of you for being so brave even thought you were WAY out of your comfort zone!
-CT