Hi, (((Kmay))). Thanks for replying. My T did say he had a busy weekend and hadn't gotten around to it yet. I knew ahead of time it was a possibility and specifically asked when I sent it that he tell me at the beginning of the session the status, so I wouldn't worry about it. I just didn't anticipate how hard it would be knowing it was hanging out there. He offered to read it then and there, but I couldn't handle being in the room while he did. As for the breathing, ibalready have counting exercises I do that usually work, but I literally could not regulate it at all this time. My T did try to help me take slower, deeper breaths, but I just...couldn't. It's like my body wasn't listening to anything. I was having a lot of spasms too, from terror, which does happen sometimes, but not to that extent in the past.

Anyway, I'm doing kind of ok, but I have had to put it all away to deal with being around people the last few days. Last night's session didn't go well, because it felt like I disappointed my T struggling with some denial and protective (of abusers) stuff that he thought I had worked through already. I ended the session in terrible pain and completely disconnected. He tried to joke me out of it as I walked out and I told him I just couldn't deal. Anyway, we're staying in contact, which helps, but I really wish there were such a thing as a do-over. I would have traded my Friday to have another one today to fix it...