Hi EJ, and welcome -

I'm not sure transference is something you overcome. It's a human experience that we can feel with anyone, and often do, not only with T. In therapy it becomes a tool or medium through which we can fully experience our emotional spectrum as it relates to relationships in one's life. Sometimes the strength of those emotions are very powerful and when they are related to our early caregivers, they tend to come out full force in therapy.

It seems as though that is what you are experiencing, and this is your opportunity - if you have a therapist who knows how to work with this kind of issue - to work through those feelings that you had as a young child with T as a proxy for your mother. It is very, very hard work, but through it you can successfully learn to heal the pain of not having had the relationship you deserved with your mother. You can heal problems that developed for you as a result of having an absent mother. You can learn to get your needs met and feel like a whole and healthy human being.

But you have to go back to this T to work through your rupture. You might think of this rupture as a fight with your parent. You wanted something, and she wouldn't give it to you - so you stalked out. It is okay that you did this with T... as long as you go back. This episode gives you information about your feelings, your responses, your triggers. Use that information to shed light on how this situation came about and how you might do something differently next time.

Wishing you well on this journey.

-RT