It's possible you are experiencing both maternal and erotic transference.
I fantasise about being with my T in a sexual way but I also just want her to be my mum (it's a lot more complicated than this but basically that's what it comes down to, even though I have a very good relationship with my birth mother).
Complicated. And I've not even started to discuss this with my T because it's so hard and these feelings seem wrong to have, but they're not wrong, they are normal and not as uncommon as we think.
I will reiterate what others have said and would suggest you return to your T so that you can start to work on these feelings (easier said than done I know).
If that's not an option then there's no reason why you couldn't and shouldn't find another T and you can even start by talking about your ET with previous T.
It wouldn't be as beneficial as talking it through with previous T but they will be able to help you realise and come to terms with the feelings and help to normalise them for you.
I wish you well
Magia