Hi About,

That T was not justified in sending that e-mail. Even if those are her opinions, a simple "no" would have sufficed. Therapy is something different for everyone, so she has no way to tell a complete stranger what therapy is for. In fact, therapy is about functioning for me, as well. Without therapy for too long, I am lost in my negativity. Clearly, that would not be beneficial in my life!

Also, as for avoiding separation pain - great! There's the first thing to talk about with a new T! Even if the reason for seeing a T is what she views as "counter-productive," isn't one of the best ways to deal with it by tackling it head on. That can be done by not going to therapy for a short time OR by going to therapy to talk about the origins of and coping mechanisms for that pain.

I personally have not been away long enough to have that circumstance, but my T has been away for a couple of months. So, indirectly, I was forced into the same decision. I was falling into a number of issues and didn't even realize it - because I was isolated even from a T - and did reach out to a psychiatrist. Obviously, she has a medical reason for being involved in my continuing treatment even now that my T is back, but I find that it is helpful to have someone to talk to without judgment between sessions. It is not as rewarding. I am not as attached to this person or even concerned with the chance that I would never see her again. But, I am always thankful to have had the time to sit in her office and work through things when needed. I actually hear myself voicing what my T would say when she responds differently, but that is more because I am learning from my T and less because of missing my T (even though I always am).

This is something I need to get by without crashing and burning, and the two Ts involved in the situation respect what I want from them. If a T doesn't respect your needs, she isn't the right T. But, don't take in her perspective. Respect your own needs and even mention your thoughts to your T before you leave. Maybe she'll have suggestions.

Best of luck!