This doesn't go with my personality at all... but it's what has helped the most in processing things: no expectations, no plans... let it happen. That's why it takes long to get there, where things just "are" between you and your T (and it sounds like they "are").
What I've had to do is throw trust at the adventure, this sounds lame. I just talk about anything that comes up and my T (or I) will discover the approach/path.
I really thought that inner-child work or any processing really would involve a lot of dramatics; that I would have to prepare and make sure it was safe, etc. You can ask him for anything and try anything to see what works. It will be trial and error, at least from my experience and wasn't what I expected at all. Not dramatic (I don't even know what I mean by that, like a whirlwind feeling inside)... right now I'm learning to be sad, and a bit empowered. I've already been through shame (still have lots of that ahead) and hahaha anger, cya never...
I couldn't really know what someone I don't know, hate and never listen to wanted or needed. Which is a cute trick your T is pulling on you right now, and I've had it played on me too. Your T quite literally asked little TN what she needed - and you're building a relationship with her by trying to figure it out. Even discussing it with your T later (and here) will be processing, and it's you being concerned about 'her'. Sneaky, eh?
I've had a stuffed animal at my Ts office forever now, it helps because I like to touch soft things with my hands. Plus he makes an easy distraction and a tool sometimes to move us off a subject. I have a REALLY great relationship with my playful inner kid so starting there (coloring, painting, etc) helped and comes natural to me.
As far as my hurt inner child... we just find what works. My stuffed animal works... , I MUST have a blanket (but I'm a Linus, I have a blanket all the time). We are hit or miss... I do get triggered by my T on occasion (something she will ask or say, not intending to trigger me at all) because I'm in a vulnerable spot and we learn a lot there. It's also amazing that I can get triggered, express it, talk about it and move on (no relational issue to work out because the focus is the emotion now, the relationship is fine). Sometimes I have tea and that helps, it depends on the day.
Reporter mode is okay, I used to always start there, and my T would help us trap something to dig in to from there, if she got a sense that was available within me.
I'm used to 50 minute sessions and have gotten used to coming down from intensity. You may want to set up check-ins with your T if you are worried, or extra time. Sometimes if we get really in to stuff, I do need to call my T later just to give her an update or to ground. I'm sort of used to closing up shop quickly (I compartmentalize like a pro). But... I do need to plan so I have little idle time. Too much time to think is bad for me. So T will ask me about plans, help me make plans and just generally try to x-ray vision my emotional state.
Only recently has my T been coming to sit with me or offering comforting touch, I'm not sure why or how that got started but it does help. I used to worry she would regulate me too much (being nearby or touching me) because I am so tactile that I wouldn't be able to "go there" and also be grounded. But over time I've learned how to do the one foot in the trauma, one foot in the now stuff and I can lose it even with my T there. Your T and you will work out what keeps you in 'now' while you go to 'then'.
Okay..... I don't think I helped, but I did type a lot, and that helped me so I could regulate before bed, so thank you for the interesting topic!! Thank your sneaky T for getting you started already
