Reply to "Why protective of T?"

aboutMember

For me it came from several things:
- being shamed, by my family and childhood therapist so it partly is protective of myself: it is bad to ask for anything.
- the other part is just family history: my needs (non-vital needs, so not food and shelter, but emotional) were always shown as hurtful to my mother. The only way to have my needs met would be if the person sacrificed herself... and then would end up leaving me, because who would want to stay with someone with "so many needs"?

+... my T is very good at holding boundaries, she mentioned several times things she would not do. Which led me to think she was very fragile and I had to take care of never "hurting" her by being too much, by not being cheerful...

But I am getting a bit better at it: I may not be good at asking, but when my T offers... once in a while... I can say yes. I checked twenty times that she really really really is okay with it. And keep being scared of hurting her by sending an email. But progress is slow.

7/10/147:04 PM

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