quote:

The only hiccups are that I walked into therapy knowing nothing about therapy, including what a therapist does.

MC,
The dynamics I am talking about are definitely unconscious. Part of the reason I remember I first felt attracted to my T was that my husband and I were going to couples' counseling and one of the major problems on my part is that I felt like I was jumping up and down, screaming at the top of my lungs and waving my arms about and my husband still didn't hear me (turned out there were complex reasons for this that we both had a part in, just to be fair to DH). So I walk into therapy and there's this caring, compassionate man who is not only listening to me, he is expressing real understanding of how I feel and why I feel that way. When I finally went to see him to tell him about my feelings one of the things I told him was that I felt like a sponge in the dessert and he came along and started pouring water over me. I knew nothing of attachment theory or those early dynamics either at the time. Human beings are just built that way.

It also sounds like your T may have been a good emotional match for you as indicated by using the same wording you did to describe something you felt you were looking for.

And I totally get what you are saying about your bosses (I was the same way). But I think it was the combo of authority mixed with a willingness to attend to you.

And I have no doubt it does not totally cover what happened. The truth is that human beings, and especially our emotional dynamics can be very complex and sometimes we are working towards very antithetical goals. So we don't always seem to make sense until we see ourselves and our actions in the right context.

AG