Tagged With "Serenity Prayer"
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Re: Strategy...
I e-mailed my T today and asked for some clarification and she explains it a lot better than I did, but it doesn't make it any easier for me. Does that make any more sense...? Heather, the idea of mindfulness and meditation are very difficult. My T is very much like that - meditation, contemplation, centering prayer - I started Kundalina Yoga and have a very difficult time clearing my mind, but I am working on it. I just keep on trying. TN, whenever you have a chance - I don't think I am...
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Re: Strategy...
I don't think it's so much clearing your mind as it is becoming aware of how your mind works, and being gentle to yourself as you find out. Try not to get angry at yourself for how you feel or what you are thinking. I don't want to sound preachy or anything. Maybe you could pick something you like, say a warm bath or ice cream, and when you notice that mean part of you comes out, go do that nice thing for yourself. I tend to purchase fuzzy things, like throws or sweaters when I get mean to...
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Re: Hurting
Ag, You sound like me- so that can't be good. Why are you being so hard on yourself? Who says (besides you) that you should leave therapy? Who (besides you) is putting a time table on all of this. I am hearing "I should because..." (you finish it) Therapy is to get away from the shoulds and back to the needs. I am not hearing that you are quite ready to leave therapy. I am thinking that the threat of leaving is further triggering attachment stuff for you, so let it be for a while. Your...
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Re: Ever Run Into Your Therapist?
Morning Everyone- We need more of these funny stories - keep them coming. I can't think of anything just now, but I have appreciated all the laughs. Summertime is when I usually see my T at the pool (YMCA) because we both swim laps, but I am saying good-bye to my T on Monday (unless he will accept insurance only payment for a while) and I will be working 2 summer jobs (if I get hired for the second), so there will be no chance of running into my T at the Y. This worries me, but maybe being...
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Re: anyone doing true psychoanalysis??
what a kind person you are. yes, i do think the truth will set me free. i am only recently 'reborn', didn't know what was missing until i found it. i thought i was a Christian, went to church, etc. but, with my background and mixed religious messages from childhood (catholic, jewish, and practicing agnostic) i never knew God really knew me. this has been so wonderful, and my only true hope for healing, and sometimes is so healing...the things i hear through prayer...that i wonder if God is...
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Re: Advice-giving in therapy
echo, glad it is hopeful. and yes, i understand about the time spent here. i feel a bit guilty about it, but sometimes find it so helpful, it is a balance, like everything in life, and i'd like it to ALL be black and white...my eternal struggle. i like your attitude about the aspergers,and controlling what you can control, like the serenity prayer...
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Re: Dialectical Behavior Therapy
janedoe, don't be too impressed, today is good, yesterday was exceptionally depressing...funny, the weather yesterday was so much like the weather where i grew up, dark heavy atmosphere, humid, threatening rain, no natural sunlight, and i realize just that can set me back and make me feel like i am there again. you flatter me!! so thanks, i do know, i try like HELL to not pass this SHIT down!! feel like i am learning a completely foriegn language (mothering) as my first language (in...
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Re: Dialectical Behavior Therapy
UV, thanks for the hug... DF, thanks for saying i don't have to go...it felt like a kid, when you tell them 'no', they want 'yes', so, your telling me i don't have to go, let's me go without kicking and screaming (almost) because if i don't have to go, 'mom isn't making me', then i am left to consider if i want to go...df, how did you know the magic words!! i am encouraged to read your post. i will go today, although i don't want to. i never know who will show up. lately, all my public face...
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Re: Lamplighter absent for a bit FINAL UPDATE
Update Pussy cat (aka Peeky Puss, one of his nicknames) was starting to pick up but yesterday deteriorated badly. We’ve been back and forwards to vet, who doesn’t really know exactly what’s wrong with him - seems two options are the most likely, heart failure or cancer but without further intensive and traumatizing tests at a distant animal hospital the vet can’t tell, nor does she seem able to give me any info about what to expect (so of course I’m spending all the time I’m not sitting with...
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Re: Dialectical Behavior Therapy
DF, exactly, i have always thought i was able to affect better circumstances around my childhood home (as my sister was schizophrenic, later diagnosed, and mom depressed/anxious/narcissitic/MEAN), so it was all up to me to be GOOD, and sometimes i COULD make things better around there, SO, i COULD affect others...but, where does this end? where should this end?? where do others take responsibility and me not? it is like the serenity prayer: The best-known form is: God, grant me the serenity...
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Re: found new T who will work with me including last session with the counselor
this is what I wrote on my blog about the final session yesterday with the counsellor: I am worried, NewFinder knows this blog, she could look in it any time if she wanted to know how I am doing. I have asked her twice not to read it anymore and I don't think she has since she wrote the termination email on October 1st. But I worry that she would read it. And I don't want her to. I don't know what to do. I don't want to change my entire blog to another blog just so that she does not have...
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Re: .
I can relate to this so well! It is almost exactly how I feel, both the day after our session, and about prayer (except I sometimes receive that as "pushing" me away when done right at the end of sessions). I have holding hands during prayer on my list of things Kiddo asks for during sessions (which I never let her express) that I gave T. I am so glad your T is willing to do this. I am too afraid to ask for it right now, but you have a much longer-standing relationship with your T, so I have...
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Re: .
((((((((((Monte)))))))))) I'm sorry that the threat of your T's retirement is overshadowing your relationship with him. I can hear the pain and rawness in your little girl's response to that and it is heartbreaking. Especially how you put it - how there is a "use-by date" - to think of that, alongside your very tender vulnerabilities - the contrast is almost obscene, isn't it? I wonder if this is where your sense of disgust comes from...do you think maybe it is not your needs that are...
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Re: Intense Session Coming Up - *Updated*
Thanks again for all the support. Here is my update. T texted me and let me know his 7:00 pm cancelled and asked if we could do 7:15. We ended up started more like 7:25. When I first got there, I reminded him about the release form I need to sign so he and my pastor can coordinate on support/safety stuff and also for when I see the pdoc in August. He put their numbers in his phone. Then, he asked if I wanted to do the interviewing thing. I asked if he had read my last journal entry (which is...
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Re: Let's try this again...
(((hemlock))) Thanks for the support and for braving the attic and cobwebs to look for the time machine! That made me smile. (((TN))) I am probably just jumping to conclusions about my SCA, but when I called them to check on it, the case manager said, "You WERE told that if we find ANYONE else in the area in network who can treat you, it will be denied, right?" There are four Ts that list dissociative disorders in my area: one MD/Pdoc who replied one sentence to my first email and ignored...
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Re: Family Holiday Drama
Passing this along to anyone out there dealing with family drama.... The Serenity Prayer GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living ONE DAY AT A TIME; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be...
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Re: Family Holiday Drama
Thanks to you all for the support and I am so sorry to those of you who can relate. xoxo - thanks very much for the prayer. My T reminded me of very many similar things yesterday and was so kind to me when I apologized for texting so much yesterday, offering me genuine holiday wishes and care (I always voluntarily give him a texting break on holidays/vacations, although he says it is unnecessary). Also, I got a call from my sister today apologizing and saying that her being upset wasn't even...
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Re: Family Holiday Drama
Yaks! Your T is so great. I just am amazed at the kindness and care he takes with you. How special to find someone like him. You are very lucky. I am sorry that Boo and H are not feeling well. It's not fun being sick around the holidays. I hope that things smooth over for your family and you make the best decision for you in regards to how you spend your day tomorrow. Can I just say that this afternoon's family gathering of my own was intensely dramatic and I don't wish any of this drama on...
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Re: .
((((Draggers)))) I've never been one to say it all happens for a reason. That is a horrible thing to tell someone that is being hurt. But, I do believe, and this is a spiritual thing, that horrible things, things that should never have happened, can be worked for good as we heal from them. There are horrible aspects to having grown up the way I did, but there is also an intuitiveness and empathy that was cultivated through those experiences. I don't think I've ever found a good answer to the...
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Re: Therapy and God
I absolutely agree with you. I have my psychiatrist who I believe is a christian and sometimes even brings up the subject of God from time to time. I have my T that has not mentioned God at all and does not seem interested in talking about it when I bring the subject up and then I have my christian counselor. I believe that all three has helped me greatly. My T gives me stuff to use that can help my situation even though its not centered around God. The one thing I have come to realize is...
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Re: Therapy and God
Wow! Thanks for starting this post Strummergirl! I had this whole thing ready to reply with, with replies to quotes and to all, and then somehow I lost it, so this will have to do. Thanks to everyone for your input! This is a subject that I agree can be delicate and often controversial, but I welcome this type of discussion because God is very important to me and I can use all of the help and insight I can get on how to put him where he belongs in my life. Strummergirl: I really appreciate...
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Re: Therapy and God
Hi, thought I would add my two cents worth on therapy and God. I became a born again believer 21 yrs ago. I was 30 yrs old and a big mess. I came from a background of sexual, verbal,and physical abuse. Short description, I grew up in hell. I married at 18 thinking that would solve all of my problems. By the age of 30 I was mom to two kids and my marriage was terrible and my children were suffering from being parented by a depressed angry mother. I got saved believing the scripture that all...
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Re: Therapy and God
Thanks Monte for the Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr It was heartening for me to see. I am one of those who was judged by my minister as somehow lacking in faith as I had a problem that wasn't getting better and he put it down to lack of prayer/belief on my part. So my faith, which is actually strong has been tried to its limits over recent years and I have been made to feel that it obviously wasn't firm enough, else I would be healed. i am a shy person who would have found it almost impossible to talk...
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Re: Therapy and God
My favorite prayer- "God help me to be willing-to be willing, to change. He does the rest.
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Re: Therapy and God
oh I have so many thoughts and questions on this - but my head and heart are so jumbled... Monte - I TOTALLY agree with you. In every color SG - I'm very struck by your story and prayer. I can't really put it into words right now, but thank you for sharing!
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Re: Therapy and God
Sort of along the same line of reasoning, I believe a spiritual/religious/church counselor who is not trained in psychology and trauma can only take you so far. Perhaps it is not good to put all our eggs in one basket. Pippi, for example, has her christian counselor in addition to her high school counselor and her P. Perhaps they each have something significant to contribute, but each alone may be lacking in some area. I have to admit that when my T said it didn't matter what she believed,...
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Re: How do you deal- when Your T triggers you?
Here is a letter that I am thinking about sending to my T. He really didn't didn't trigger me- but no resonance either. Dear PsyD, This is what I’ve learned today- when I am stuck in session, and I don’t go in to process, I don’t hear you, and I get very little from our time together. (There is no limbic regulation) I don’t know why I am sad- the child within is crying and I don’t know why. When I said there are 2 rooms, the spiritual room and the psychological room and that they don’t...
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Re: therapist canceled
Blackbird, I want to thank you so much for this. I read it last night and it has been simmering around inside me, shifting things. I have a similar kind of musical pursuit I can't name here, too identifying, but I know exactly what you are talking about. When I think about thinking about my therapy this way, it brings EVERYTHING into a different light. Suddenly I feel more connected to what's happening inside me - so painful but maybe it's okay too. The thought of going with what's...
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Re: therapist canceled
I just want to write some stuff down here, offload a little bit because I'm struggling. I'm okay in the days at the moment but I get to about 6 pm and over the last few days all I can do is sleep and cry - it's not really like me. I'm hanging out for Tuesday when I can continue the EMDR with my T, and at the same time I am having real trouble holding on to my sense of what it's for or what therapy is for. At no point am I going to get a happy childhood. It just seems like I'm going closer to...
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Re: My T told me I seduced her with my gifts...
Em, I hear your fears here. I have faced my own fears lately wondering if I should run and find a new therapist or stick with the one I'm with. I have had to wrestle with my head and my heart both and try to decide which one to go with, and it is tough. One thing that I have heard is that when we're faced with what to believe, the thought is always the lie, and the emotion is the truth. So for me, I realized that what my head was doing to me was making my confusion worse and I had to trust...
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Re: Took a risk...now I'm regretting it.
Hey MTF, Yea I know very well the hell hole you were in when you first posted; I was there my self last week. - so much so that I could have written your post. The anguish sucks. For me- my lesson is to stick my neck out there- without having the answers, and hope AND PRAY (don't forget- prayer, God has very, very big shoulders no matter how you define him) that my T is strong enough to catch me when I fall. I told him at the very beginning that he would need to be very strong to deal with...
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Re: Feeling really bad
smiley, it will pass honestly it will. Keep yourself grounded as best you can ... having 50 people for a BBQ would stress me out too, but will no doubt keep you busy in preparation! Shall we all say a little prayer for sun over smiley's house this weekend? starfish
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Re: .
Oh Shit, oh Shit! I better learn about this stuff. I do that face platter thing. Oh- no! I thoutht it meant that I was concentrating on what he was saying. What does it mean if I am wearing a skirt, and I pull my legs out of his sight and tuck them underneath me? Yea- getting really worried about T- still no call. And I am handling my own crisis with meds and prayer. I am going to call his office this morning. something is not right. Funny- is this body language or an unfortunate situation...
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Re: .
HE CALLED! and yea- he was sick. (I knew it) He has lymes disease pretty badly- trouble walking- maybe the lack of happy birthday, was a brain effect of the lyme disease. God I hope not. If you believe in prayer- pray for my T. No matter what- he is a good guy. Sorry so OT.
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Re: --
i want to be respectful to all, but i felt damned from the get-go. damned. and i tried to hide from God, and just this fall i have fully embraced, as in this song on Christian stations..."child, you're forgiven and loved"....and i have sung that particular few lines in my head thousands of times. and friend, YOU are forgiven and loved. not something many of us ever got growing up, but i pray you can embrace that. truly, some of my best therapy comes through lines in these Christian songs.
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Re: --
BB, I am glad you have decided to return to your perch! Virtual life is not the same without you. I love this quote: [QUOTE can’t pray so just let my desire to be able to pray be my prayer/QUOTE] It reminds me of the verse “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.” Your SD is spot on! God will not demand of us what we are not able or willing to give. He lets us come as we are (he knows it anyway) and is patient and good. I wander if your SD has read anything by Brennan Manning. I want to throw my...
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Re: Spouses and Therapy
I'm so glad that you felt able to vent about it here, SG...and there is SO much in your post that I relate to and would like to comment on. Unfortunately, it will have to wait until tonight or tomorrow because my h is hanging around making me feel guilty for spending time on the computer this morning. So I better go right now, sadly I don't have time to respond right now. I am so sorry that things are so hard right now, SG. It is the worst thing in the world when the person you live with,...
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Re: anyone have much experience with hypnosis or disassociative states??
thanks all, i just couldn't imagine it was too foriegn of an experience. and, like you df, my t says since i learned how at such a young age, that is why it is so easy for me. and i, like you starfish, just wish i could stay 'out there'...yes, she spends alot of time grounding me in the here and now....i hate that part. i think i can also get myself there in meditative prayer (in my closet, dark, alone, peaceful) and i will find that i have been in there two hours, not praying aloud as much...
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Re: Preparing for T's Vacation
Hi TN, I've noticed too that the boards are pretty quiet. Earlier tonight, I thought I had suddenly figured it out - that you were all camping out on the "Intimate Discussions" thread! But when I got there, it was quiet, too. Shucks. I am beyond sorry that your week has been so exhausting and frightening, when, like you said, you needed those resources for other things...I wish I had some answers for you...I just wanted to wish you the best tomorrow and Friday. I will be thinking of you.
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Re: Sad Story Update & T Search
Hi all and thank for asking about me. I had to cut my vacation short because I was feeling so sick. Evidently, I'm suffering from complications after my surgery and have to report back to the hospital tomorrow for tests and perhaps an endoscopic procedure. While that is sort of freaking me out it is the least invasive of my choices. The surgeon is not sure what is going on and I need to have some tests tomorrow morning and if it's treatable with endoscopy then I think he will do it tomorrow...
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Re: Sad Story Update & T Search
((((((TN)))))) I'm so glad to hear it is still going well with D. She sounds like good people! I'm sorry to hear about the complications from your surgery. That is really rough, especially with everything you've been through lately. Good luck with your procedure tomorrow, I hope the endoscopy takes care of it. I'll definitely say a prayer for you, and will look for your email tomorrow. Hugs, SG
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Re: Why do we give them so much power?
What a great question, MTF!!! This is huge. In fact, this reminds me of my favorite high school teacher, who would rate how "good" a math problem was by how long he drew out the "oo" in "good". So if I may borrow his scale, this is a goooooooooooooooooood question. But there is no way I can talk about this without bringing God into it...so I'm glad to see you mentioned God. This is something I've wondered about all through therapy. As I started considering, doing, and reading about therapy,...
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Re: do you ever feel that 'getting well' means ignoring your issues?
Hey, there, jill...nice to see you again. I do get what you are saying, and have often the same type of thoughts. How many people with worse issues than mine are walking around not thinking about it, maybe not happy, but who is really happy...and more functional than I am when I sit and ruminate, think, pray, etc...then it calls into question, the whole idea of is it what we do, accomplish, that makes us valuable? I kno0w I can't do both. I can't function and do what I am supposed to do each...
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Re: Not feeling all that great
pg, sounds like you are in the 'there's no turning back' point. it is hell, i, myself, don't even recognize myself without all the defenses up, as ag said. i'm not across the threshold yet, but i feel for you that some tough stuff came up before this break. makes you really wonder how and why that happens. i do believe tho, that despite your not seeing your t for this time, some processing is going on in that mysterious inner being that is probably moving forward without you even realizing...
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Re: Feeling Confused
eek. eek. eek. Hi, echo... it's really good to see you too. Here goes...gosh this is really really hard. Echo. really hard. I want to say, that why, you must have been badly hurt by some "Catholics," (as I have also been), to think assume or joke about, that I would ever tell you, you are going to hell...never. * here comes the hard part* That is not to say, that I do not believe in such a thing. It's just, I think we understand the idea of it differently. I am also wondering if the religion...
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Re: Feeling Confused
There's no need for broken hearts over, this. Really! I think most of us look for something familiar when we're stressed; that's all this is. (Which is how recovering alcoholics end up sitting in bars, and victims of abuse seek out new abusive relationships once they are free. They are all gravitating towards what is familiar.) It's not a longing for God or religion or a wish that I could still be Catholic. My "crisis of faith" happened at an early age, not because of anything anyone did,...
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Re: Can someone help me?-so Confused!!
Thank you one and all- Today is Thanksgiving day, and I am going to do my best to make it just that- a day of thanks- in spite of him. This is what I know: The more mature spiritual side of me is saying- T is not your purpose. Which means in spiritual terms I am not the one to show him who Christ is. My faith is strong and this will carry me through if I place all of my trust here. The wounded child is the one that is the saddest, don't know quite how to deal with that yet - give her to God,...
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Re: Can someone help me?-so Confused!!
I am not too sure of wht you mean BB. He said in session that he is very busy with his business, and his work- so basicallly no time to talk to me. That was clearly the message yesterday. I took this to be the truth- so he was being dismissive to me. It hurt- but then the silent-" I dont give a shit part of me" paid him in full and left, with the intent of not looking back (I don't know how long that would have lasted, but I am sstill ok with it if that is for the best) Finding this answer...
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Re: Can someone help me?-so Confused!!
Hi Frog and Liese, Thanks for your support and for checking with me. I found Jones and AG's posts to be so activating that I had to step back. There is wisdom and truth in what they say and seriously something I need to look at, and I will. Since I have been so Hmm.. fuzzy headed- not able to think or connect to the whole message, and a part of me is screaming noooo... can't do it, I am just working on grounding myself again. Jones- AG, I know you are right- you too Beebs, and I will be...