Tagged With "therapist blog"
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Re: Erotic Transference PAIN
Hi S, Welcome to the forums! You've come to a good place to get info on your problem, there are a number of people dealing with the issue, myself included. Sorry about the delay in replying, lots going on with a getting triggered by my first going off to college. Since the subject of erotic transference has been widely discussed on this site, I'm going to point you to few links I found helpful on other sites, good topics to read on the forum, and a couple of book suggestions. That's not to...
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Re: Have you ever sued your Therapist?
Hi there I am getting all the help that I need. People have been telling me that just think of this experience as dealt with Fucked up. I am not sure if it's because I idealized him too much, I strongly believe that he could have done more than he did with me. He was definitely sound boarding a lot with me. I think he really enjoyed how I as reacting, what I would say or do...I was very interesting subject for him. Sometimes I wonder what if he was already professional counsellor and I was...
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Re: A new dilemma
CT, How incredibly cute!! And even at nine months I can just see that mischievious sense of humor on your face. MTF, I agree with what Monte said, which reminded me of something my T told me. I told him about the googling after I found a blog his daughter-in-law was writing about her daughter, my Ts first grandchild. He told me that his son and DIL put it on the web knowing that anyone could see it. As Monte put it, he's made his peace with the internet and the limits of privacy. And I know...
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Re: A new dilemma
BB, This is where you have it backwards! You should be sitting back and thinking "thank heaven, I am so much more well adjusted and emotionally healthy than all these people!" If it helps, I don't really worry about it too much anymore since my Ts reaction. And I still regularly check the granddaughter's blog. AG
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Re: Honesty (or honestly)
I hve always thought I was very honest in therapy - that I tell things that most poeple would not admit, like how attachhed I feel for her and how I miss her so much in between etc and then recently we have or I have hit a real deep shame issue and I have sepnt about two months ttrying to talk to her and aout it an dnot managing it and making myself slightly crazy. I actually think she would be very understanding and reassuring - it is just my shame that is holding me back and how I am full...
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Re: found new T who will work with me including last session with the counselor
I have posted my conversation with Jon Kabat Zinn on my blog just now - the little I remember of it, I talked to him for quite a long while, two sessions of 15 minutes or more. I shall pack my thermos, SF, when I know when my next session is. Liese, Jon's CD's are great too, really good for practicing with. TN: I found ending with my other T's more traumatic, I truly think it is because I have evidence and truly know she was not as competent and well trained as she needed to be,and the T I...
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Re: found new T who will work with me including last session with the counselor
this is what I wrote on my blog about the final session yesterday with the counsellor: I am worried, NewFinder knows this blog, she could look in it any time if she wanted to know how I am doing. I have asked her twice not to read it anymore and I don't think she has since she wrote the termination email on October 1st. But I worry that she would read it. And I don't want her to. I don't know what to do. I don't want to change my entire blog to another blog just so that she does not have...
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Re: todays session crap
Frog, I knew there was another thread I wanted to respond to and overlooked, I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong reading the book. Your T knows its out there and that people can read it. He knew that when he published it. I remember when I told my T about goggling him, that I felt really upset that I read all of his grandaughter's blog, that I was invading his family's privacy. Part of his response was that his son and DIL knew that it was on the web and available for anyone to read. It's your...
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Re: ...
LG, I'm really glad you heard back from your T and in such a reassuring manner. There is nothing worse than that horrible time between contacting a T and waiting to hear back from them. I tended to populate it with all kinds of horrible thoughts and feelings on my Ts part (which never turned out to be true mind you, but still happened every time. ) And the fear of abandonment was a constant thread throughout our work together and something we discussed on many occasions. I probably come at...
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Re: First break , rupture ?
Thanks everyone, I came back to this last night after a restless night as it's causing me such pain. I did not mean to say that there had not been other posts on this, I was more worried about posting about a first break in t. that's me not explaining myself very well. My relationship with my T is not so far advanced enough to ask for something like the paper chain (although that sounds a great idea) so if you don't mind, I'll borrow the letter idea, and have already composed one which is on...
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Re: What do you think your attachment style is?
Yaku! What you wrote really said something to me about me. Wow. Thank you, you've woken me up a bit to questions about why I feel 'bad' for attention-seeking so much. You've given some very useful information, thankyou. The experiences you had really echo mine as well so its definitely some food for thought Often I have this habit too. I'll write something in my blog mainly and delete it not so long afterward because it didn't seem real at the time or too exxagurated or 'fake' or whatnot. I...
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Re: What do you think your attachment style is?
Ah, I love it when LL is on the forum... (Not to say that others don't have, too, ack! PAD attack!!!) It's just I so often relate so much... I have no idea what my attachment style is, just as, I am the only person I have ever met who has "failed" a Myer's-Briggs personality test... I just don't know the answers to the questions!! It's always different, every time! yarg. FMG said: Oh, my goodness, I have never had someone speak their thoughts and have them so deeply coincide with my own. It...
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Re: My Experience with attachment and love.
(((HAVE COURAGE)))) You didn't sound preachy at all. I really got a lot out of the way you described it, your back to front analogy with the friend becoming the therapist. I have a friend I can talk to about anything. I asked T why wasn't that enough for me? Why did I need him so much? And I think it's precisely that with my friend, when it's about her needs, it's about her needs. That doesn't happen with my T. I was curious to know if your friend the therapist gave you any advice re: the...
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Re: Wanting to go it alone.
number 9: I hate negative press regarding such as BPD. To keep away from 'these people' etc. There are different aspects to it and there are indeed some very capable and aware and logical people who have it and are very willing to move through it but I do wish it was understood what pain is involved with the aspects of this kind of thing. The thing is I seem to notice that SO much of us are in pain and in fear of each other. I want virtuous relationships where we don't throttle each other...
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Re: Anyone in therapy and training to become a T?
Hi Athenacus, The only reason I am not going to school to become a therapist is because with two children in college, I can't afford the tuition. I did actually go to my therapist a couple of years ago to talk to him about my becoming my therapist, especially as I was concerned about whether I was healthy enough to help other people and managing my triggers. To my eternal surprise, he was very supportive of the idea and told me that he thought that people who had done significant amount of...
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Re: Anyone in therapy and training to become a T?
Athenacus, I am extremely impressed with all you are doing (you had at me single mother. Parenting is hard enough to do with two people involved). I think continuing as long as you can trusting that things will open up sounds like a good plan. Even if it takes longer than you anticipate, I love what Raven said about it being worth it when you get there. And 43 is still pretty young. A lot of good years left. And you're children will be able to see an example of someone working hard to...
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Re: Dr. Jeffery Smith
He seems very good to me. I went through his blog today and found it enlightening and easy to read and understand.
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Re: Dr. Jeffery Smith
Me too! I've been reading his blog and website. I like the cave/bridge/village story. He sounds like someone who really understands. He explains things very clearly and really hits home on many things, at least for me. thanks for the heads-up TN
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Re: Crazy: Notes On and Off the Couch by Rob Dobrenski
Bought this book last week after reading most of the author's blog, which I thought was incredibly funny while talking about very serious stuff. So far absolutely loving it!
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Re: Crazy: Notes On and Off the Couch by Rob Dobrenski
The Jack chapter WAS hysterical. It also made me feel like maybe I wasn't as bad a client as I thought I was. Eliana, I love that you read his blog too. I felt the same way, I ordered the book, because I liked his writing so much and was not disappointed. I hope you like it Starfishy, love to hear what you think of it after you read it.
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Re: Good idea or not to totally confide in T?
I forgot to mention one thing: According to the consult T: (he agreed with me and may write a blog about it) There is a world of difference between telling someone that they "tend to be sensitive" (AND that we ALL do that at some point) and that "we ARE easily offended". The latter is not a constructive thing to say to another person in any context. Thanks again!
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Re: Crazy: Notes On and Off the Couch by Rob Dobrenski
I'm skimming through the blog and I absolutely love it. The Drunk Dialing entry was hilarious! Love this guy!!!
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Re: Transference escalation and deflation
CTL, So glad you found it helpful (while also being sorry it makes so much sense to you. ). My T has been VERY steady in this area and very open to discussing it which has really helped. As a matter of fact, I'm working on a post on Erotic Transference for my blog right now, I'll let you know when its up if you want. I'm hoping for tonight but tomorrow at the latest. AG
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Re: Transference escalation and deflation
Bam! That just really struck a chord - thank you for that insight, Xoxo! But you know, the hardest, most painful transference of all came after he did something that felt so cold and heartless, like my dad had treated me at times. Overall though, I think you nailed it for me - when T is so kind and understanding, I just want more of what I perceive as love, and it hurts that the line is drawn in the sand - CONCRETE, in his case, so firmly then. Like you get this much love, and that's it.
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Re: lead us not into temptation *update 2*
Thanks you guys, but-- I feel so awful about it. If I hadn't done anything wrong why would I feel this way? It's like I want to crawl out of my skin. I should clarify, when I said this was a personal blog I didn't mean personal in the sense of "Oh, here is my favorite poem. Look at this cute picture of my dog," this was writing very frankly about problems in her marriage, frustrations with her co-workers, reflections on insecurities, confusion, self doubt, etc. Like I said, it was really...
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Re: lead us not into temptation *update 2*
(((Liese))) (((xoxo))) Yeah, I've actually been thinking hard about what my responsibility here is. At first I thought, "Oh, I've got to tell her, no way she knows," but now I'm thinking it really *is* an obscure and hard to find sort of thing. As in, I'm surprised google pulled it and it probably wouldn't have except for the random specific search terms I put in with her name (stuff related to that hobby I mentioned). I tested and when you just google her name you can go through pages and...
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Re: lead us not into temptation *update 2*
Well, I hope not, but I suppose I won't know until I actually go for my next session (not for five more days, perhaps fortunately). My hope is that I'll be able to put all this from my mind and continue therapy as normal. Being able to write, vent, and somewhat "process" here has been an enormous help. I feel much better about everything today, the whole incident still seems a bit odd but much less catastrophic than it did at first. The brief reading I did was really more of a confused...
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Re: lead us not into temptation *update 2*
(((HIC))) so sorry you're going through this situation! Funny enough, some days ago I decided to google my T's name as well and came up with a blog he wrote a couple of years ago about one of his hobbies. Luckily he didn't write anything out of ordinary or too personal. There was a part about him getting drunk at a party, but to be honest that only made me chuckle as I can't imagine that happening at all. I read the entire blog. I needed to know. I wouldn't have your strength to let it go.
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Re: lead us not into temptation *update 2*
Heard back from my T already! Here is what she said: "Hi, I appreciate you letting me know this about my blog.I thought I had set it up to be completely private and am distressed to see it pop up on Google! I've gone into settings and changed the setting for Blog Readers to author only. Hope I've got it done. Thank you T" Phew, now I feel better about her sanity and about life in general. Thanks so much all of you for your support while I struggled through this, and especially to xoxo for...
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Re: lead us not into temptation *update 2*
Not sure if anybody besides me actually cares about this anymore, but I've decided to update my thread again now that I've seen T, just to give it all a sense of completion. Hopefully you guys aren't getting tired of all this, but hey, you don't have to read it. I brought Baby with me to therapy as is usual now. He happened to be awake, and happily kicking and cooing while we were in the waiting room, which is not so usual (he likes to sleep through therapy generally, lol). Well, when T...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
Thank you for the welcome. I've had numerous conversations on the web and in real life with people who suspected or concluded their therapy was harmful. Those in that predicament can be very distressed, as replies to the blog indicate. They found it a bone-deep and complicated conflict. Adding to the difficulty, several correspondents found that counselors unable to understand or assist them. They even found scarce literature to help, including that written for the profession. I wondered if...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
I'm not blind to the horrible fact that there are some very bad therapists out there...some people on this board have had to deal with that. But I, for one, have had good experiences in therapy. You're welcome to share your viewpoint here. However I think the sense I get from the blog is that, while it clearly recognizes bad therapy, it fails to recognize that there can be (and is) good therapy. I think if we're being respectful, we must consider that there is no absolute truth to...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
If you want to blast me as a low-IQ-simpleton-Captain-Obvious, you're welcome to fire away. I completely understand, and your contempt will be a dusting compared to what therapists dished. I even might understand why some reasons for the response. Participants have told me that blog itself, as well as links, books and videos we've discussed, were resources as they grappled with complicated layers of harmful therapy. If a soul wonders here who does seek these this information, there's also a...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
Mizzbelle, I only meant what I said in complete respect, and I'm sorry that it came across as offensive. I must admit that I'm confused how my response was seen as expressing contempt. I thought we could engage in a respectful conversation about our various viewpoints of therapy. I'm sure there are people who will find the information helpful, and that's great. But this board tends to have people who are in therapy because it is beneficial to them, so you were bound to run into more people...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
Another thought, Mizzbelle ... I'm surprised that you seem to be surprised at the prevailing response to the post and the blog. What I love about this forum, and why I read it every day, is that the members are so freakin' smart! Difficult issues are broached, details hashed over, sense made, and love given -- even when there are disagreements. A post and link such as yours never stood a chance of not being scrutinized and discussed, because that's what PsychCafe forum members do. The...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
Hi MizzBelle, Welcome to the forum. I've read your article before. It was helpful to me. It's been a little over two years ago now since I first stumbled my way into a therapist's office. I was in really bad shape, a lot of emotional pain, and I just *had* to talk to someone, hopefully a professional who could help me stay sane. I was also very clueless and inclined to be blindly trusting of someone in a "helping" profession. This was a bad combination. The "therapist" I saw was one of those...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
I'm unsurprised by the anger--the issue can be provocative. I don't solicit or expect majority agreement. Those who share some of my experiences or viewpoint have found themselves extremely isolated processing what happened to them. I hoped my blog would offer those individuals some community. HIC, thanks for your feedback. I understand how much can happen in two hours. It took me several months--and a friend's perspective--to exit my "traumatic bonding." Some people--smart people--stay...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
Some here might have interpreted my blog as a universal "attack" on therapy. I attempted to write about my specific experience and my specific chemistry with therapy. Whether gentle or degrading, therapy simply wasn't good for me. It was constructive for me to explore why. NY Times contributor Daphne Merkin wrote a long article --generating huge response and discussion-- in which she questions her lifetime experience in therapy. What's right for one person might be wrong for someone else.
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
Hi, mizzbelle. The warning on the comments (thanks for the heads up, AG, you're a lifesaver!) put me off reading for now, because I am in a sensitive place and I am trying to take care of not triggering myself. But, I do look forward to reading your blog when I'm in a better place. I'm sorry you've had what I gather was a terrible experience with therapy/therapist(s). Therapy for me has been a mixed bag (though I see it intellectually as good), so I can definitely understand at least the...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
Liese, I appreciate you looking at the article so thoughtfully. I wanted to delve beyond the "bad apples" to explore aspects of ethical treatment that can be harmful to some of clients. The illusion, mystique and mystery weren't good for me. As you point out, the client-therapist relationship can hold many contradictions. There are scarce client accounts. In my opinion one of the most perceptive, Anna Sands' FALLING FOR THERAPY, received scathing internet commentary, complete with a...
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Re: If therapy does more harm than good....
I want to stand up for Mizzbelle. That blog helped me make sense of the very bad experience I had in therapy. Thank you.
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Re: DBT ?
Thanks for the clarification Cat. The attachment part is definitely a fear - attaching to group members and/or the leader. That, and the fact that I can get really competitive in a group setting, and I'm not sure how helpful that would be for where I am right now. I like the idea of meeting the group T and doing an initial "interview" of sorts. My T actually mentioned making a phone call to inquire about it, so maybe I'll wait and see how that goes. BTW - love that you're sharing your blog...
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Re: Stepping Down
AG... reading this has made me teary. You will be greatly missed around here. We go back a long way on this Board and I learned a lot from you. I understand that you need to do what is best for you and you have grown so much in the past few years that I think it's time for you to spread your wings. I hope your future projects bring you joy and satisfaction. I am honored that you and Shrinklady would consider me for co-moderator. I hope I can do as good a job as you have done. I have big...
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Re: Stepping Down
AG, Thank you for everything you have contributed to the forum both personally and as a moderator. I have learned so much from your journey and am so thankful that you chose to share it here and on your blog. I wish you success and happiness in all that you do going forward.
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Re: Stepping Down
I, too, will miss you, AG. I've learned so much from your posts (and your blog), and have appreciated the kindness and wisdom in your responses to everyone. Thank you for sharing your journey thus far; wishing you the very best for all that's ahead. landa
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Re: Stepping Down
Thank you all so much, this has been harder than I expected, especially with everyone being so lovely. (((Smiley))) I will miss you too, you have been an important part of my life for a while now. Please take good care of yourself and keep coming here; I know you struggle with feeling like healing is beyond you, but I don't believe that for a minute! (((TN)) Thank you! We do go back a long way (before either of us was here. ) and I hope we go a long way forward. I have always appreciated...
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Re: Stepping Down
wow AG this is quite a shock for me, I didn't see it coming! I understand your reasons for stepping down as a mod, i can only imagine the amount of effort and time it takes for that task and I'm really happy to see other great people replacing you on that task. However I hope I'll still be able to see you around the forums providing comfort and helpful advice, don't abandon us please! I'm so grateful for earlier this year coming across your blog (which ended up leading me here) and your wise...
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Re: Stepping Down
Dearest AG, Well, I read this a few days ago and have just been unable to process it - I'm in a bit of denial, I guess! Just feels like a bad dream, and I'm waiting for you to post again, this time saying, "Belated April Fools!!! Just kidding everyone!! I'm still here, nothing's changing!!" But then denial only works for so long, and then reality sinks in. Trying to not get emotional again.... Thank you, AG, for being REAL here - for sharing intimate parts of your life with all of us, a...
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Re: Stepping Down
(((AG))) I'm late to this because I haven't been able to put into words an adequate thank you for the things you have written over the years I've been in the board. Good luck with whatever you decide to do next. I'll be reading the blog so I hope you keep writing there.
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Re: Stepping Down
Thanks BLT, the same to you, I hope the volunteer work is going well for you! (((incognito))) I understand, I know how hard it was to write the goodbye. This forum and you, have been such an important part of my life and healing, that it is a struggle to find adequate words. Thank you for what you wrote. And no worries, definitely be keeping up the blog. Please take good care of yourself, and don't give up hope. I know therapy has been frustrating for you, but I KNOW you can heal. AG