Tagged With "Womens March"
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Re: Hurting
Hi AG, I'm so sorry you're hurting so much right now. I think you've got some great support and advice so far, and I just wanted to throw my own two cents in here. I agree that nothing any of us says can take away the pain you're feeling, but hopefully the fact that we care and support you will help a little. I agree with I'm OK, so feel free to pull out the HTML slapper here. I think you're really pushing yourself too hard to finish therapy before you need to and I have no real idea WHY? I...
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Re: ouch
Sarah, STRM, smiley, seablue, starfish- thank you so much for good thoughts and the encouragement! I do hope I heal in time… maybe… I'm so glad my mom survived too! and - hehe, yeah, we are both a bit stubborn/resilent - although she claims I get the stubborness from my father Thanks LL, for your kind words! I like this idea!!! There are actually some parallels and some core issues and challenges really being stirred up by this. hmmm.... much to sort through... Thanks for your words of...
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Re: Level of Self Disclosure
Hi K, Good question. I'm curious to hear what others have to say. My T is a lot like yours. She self-discloses mostly only stuff that is relevant to what we're discussing about me. Sometimes she will say stuff while we're chit chatting, but it's not stuff that is really revealing of her personal life or anything like that. However, there has been one occasion where my T did say something to me that still haunts me. I am pretty sure she regrets having said it too, because she brought it up...
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Re: T is on vacation for 10 days
Thanks for al the support. Today is a bad day for my,I HATE Fathers day. My dad was the cause of all my problems and even though he is not alive today ,he is still here in memories/flashbacks etc. It makes sick. I have already not been good to myself. It does not help that my H does not uderstand how much the stuff my father did is with me still. My H always reminds me that my F is dead and so I should be fine but it isn't. I grew up with a bad family and was treated horrible by not just my...
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Re: repressed anger
I`ve also had a lot of repressed anger and my T has openly encouraged me to show this side of me to her which I`ve found it hard to do but I now find I`m able to talk more about the people who I`ve been angry with and through my transference with my T I`ve been able to link my anger to being deeply hurt by people who I trusted and my anger comes out as tears. Now that I`m beginning to understand this I`m able to see my tears as a sign of letting go of repressed anger and hurt and as a sign...
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Re: Back to School Anxiety/Depression
Unbroken, Thanks for the reply, I really appreciated your advice and past experience. I feel a bit better, today was the first good day. I guess I just feel like I'm floundering in work (exams before college in two years and they're piling on the work) and stresses with friends and even at home I feel stuck, like in a boring routine. So I don't feel relief anywhere, but today was good and I'm in good form now...but am already worried about school tomorrow. What I really want to know is WHEN!
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Re: Hello Peeps
A Very Early Morning Peeps - And warm Mother's Day wishes to all. Be sure to read GreenEyes mother's day post. I think she says it just right. http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums...09181/m/435009888001 Today I'm going to share part of the eulogy I read at my mom's memorial tea party in March 2012. ********************* My mother was vibrant, strong, alive. She liked to quote the doctor who gave her an employment physical and said she was “Healthy as a horse!” And so, when she ended up in the...
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Re: T forgot to tell me about a month break
Thanks Cat I got a prescription for diazepam, the first time I've had it, but all the pharmacies were shut so I couldn't get it filled. GP's going to write to the CMHT again and ask if I can be assessed but they've written three times since March and haven't got anywhere. I start CBT with the NHS counsellor on Wednesday anyway (so new T2), who is apparently a RMN, so should be experienced in more than just mild anxiety. I've emailed T now. I just want some acknowledgment or positivity or...
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Re: Today I got spun in circles UPDATED: it was on purpose!!
((cogs)) hehe, sorry to mishear you! It is so nice when Ts own their part. In the thick of it, I can often not hear them owning their part, I'm not sure if they do and it's not enough or if they don't. ((GE)) Yes, it's distressing ((Hollow)) I think your description was lovely, also. Sleep does help. I took several cat-naps yesterday. ((tygr)) I know it was so hard with your T and the misattunement there. I think it was huge what happened with you and I'm so sorry. I had a similar...
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Re: confused and frustrated
yes, i see where you are coming from Heather, i too drink in moderation but in the past i used alcohol as an extra ingredient when i tried to OD, this was back in March. since then i have kept it to a careful minimum as i am very very aware it amplifies my depression if i go into a down spiral. i suppose i am in a way like the story, the little boy who cried wolf in a way as trust works both ways. she has to take my word for it that i dont drink as much anymore. thats now my problem, my past...
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Re: confused and frustrated
its taken me a long time to be able to come back and post this. i went to my meeting with my p yesterday. i tried my best to tell her everything. i opened myself up completely and tried to explain how i feel. told her what i have done on my recent journey of self discovery. i put my trust and faith in her judgment to be able to see i was sincere. if she did or not i don't know. we talked and for the most part it was good until the end. she stopped me and said ok our time is up, then said she...
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Re: confused and frustrated
i realise that my behaviour has got me into the mess im in. i realise that i am resposible for my actions and need to show the will to change to those around me who care for me, this includes my family and my mental health team. i realise i need to listen out for the keys of transference my p gave me and try to understand myself. if i understand myself then maybe i will then be able to come to understand my depression. my illness. my lack of progress. i believe i am on the right track now.
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Re: mom dying and i'm feeling like an outsider
Hi Mlc, I'm sorry to hear about the events that you are going through. Like Pippi mentioned I am the youngest in my family as well and I know Im the only one with the mental problems. so I can understand that point. Im glad to hear things have been getting better because that is always a good thing.I too long for a place where I feel I belong and Im hoping here is the place. My dad died, it will be 6 yrs this march and it is still hard. I don't talk to people about my feelings especially not...
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Re: confused and frustrated
hi everyone, i havent posted for a while but i thought i would update today. a lot has happened since my last post when i think about it. i see it as being mostly positive though. firstly i am still waiting on medication being prescribed to me. my gp is waiting on a letter from my p to tell her which one. secondly i have chosen to abstain completely from alcohol, this is easy, i believe i was in the habit of having a weekend drink with my hubby. so no issues there. i have an appointment soon...
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Re: I miss her
I'm going to be really lazy here and say 'Ditto' to Strummergirl's comments. Those are all the same things that stood out to me in AG's posts and resonated with me so much, too. Thanks AG for explaining and articulating stuff so well! You rock!! Monte, I am so lost in my head all the time that I would gladly be in your head any day! A break from my own would be nice!! I will try to stay out of yours, though. I know I don't like it when other people invade my thoughts. It's rude. Seablue: You...
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Re: Does Your T Know You Post on this Forum?
STRM, I did a similar thing with my T in March only I read her the 3 page letter during a session. It was awful, but she really tried her best to repair the relationship, even tearing up and asking me if I could ever forgive her. It was a really different experience for me and I've never felt that emotionally connected to another person before. In fact the experience was 'stuck' in my head for 4 days until she called me to see how I was doing. Weird. But that was pretty much it for us. I...
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Re: Struggling & spinning again!
Thanks everyone for the positive responses. Today has been a really hard day. I've spent most of the day crying. I think this attachment work has kicked up a lot of fear for me and a lot of uncertainty. It goes back to my T offering post-therapy 'friendship' after I read her my first letter back in March. I wish she hadn't done that. I don't know whether she did it genuinely or out of an effort to calm me when I was really upset. I had told her I felt like the end of therapy would feel like...
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Re: Seeing a "backup therapist" during break
russ, y'no one thing comes to mind that is actually good about your irritation at this whole therapy business, is, you CAN get more vocal and less vulnerable right now with t, as you have the comfort and security of bakT if you need, not that you would have a confrontation that would threaten anyone, but your dependence on him is less than it was. my course has not been this rosy picture of one fabulous t, but, i do think they each have their own perspective, and i would just milk this guy...
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Re: deleted
Hi MH, I'm sorry your T didn't pick up on your comment last year about your upcoming birthday. I was just thinking about this subject. I saw my T on Monday, and my birthday is this Saturday, so I thought about mentioning it to her, but decided not to. I don't think I mentioned it to her last year, either. She happened to mention hers as part of a story she told me once, so I know it's in March...but I don't know if I'll say anything when it comes around. Unlike you, though, I do not have...
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Re: .
Hey Frosty, glad you posted, i have been thinking... okay, okay worrying about you. The bad news is that it took about 18 months for the anxiety to settle, but the good news is it didn't just settle it disappeared, as in like went away, gone, kaput, finished. And BTW, the idea of sitting with my panic was incomprehensible to me, the urge to run and/or hide was so strong it was overriding. The funny thing is that from the outside my T couldn't see it or even hear it in my voice at all. It was...
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Re: what does dependency on your T mean?
This might help: Emotional Dependency in Psychotherapy Posted on March 1, 2012 by Joseph Burgo The concepts of neediness and emotional dependency have negative connotations in our culture; when it comes to psychotherapy, many people (especially those who’ve never had any kind of treatment) take a very dim view of clients who come to depend “too much” upon their therapist. You may hear the very cynical opinion expressed that psychotherapists deliberately instill a kind of emotional dependency...
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Re: Insurance Troubles (US Optum Health) **Triggers SU**
(((Jillian))) I agree with Jones. I know it's so easy to internalize insurance problems (being treated badly by an insurance company, having treatment denied, etc.) as a reflection on you, but it's really only a reflection on corporate culture that will minimize payouts to maximize profits. It sounds like they've done some sort of utilization review process to determine how much treatment you need or what type? However, I find it questionable that they would say you don't need the treatment...
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Re: When you don't want to go to work
When I was in grade school, every morning the radio played a John Philip Sousa march. That certainly got the circulation moving. -RT
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Re: Naltraxone
I'm so happy it went so well for you (((CD))) - wonderful that you have such caring, non-judgemental support - clearly it points to who you are! I'm going to try to kick the habit too but after my 65th in March - takes a while for me to work up to a decision!!! So happy for you s
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Re: Attachment Books?
This might be heavy reading, and I'll keep trying to find some of the other articles I've read.
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Re: T dumped me
He finally wrote back. He said he has a an hour free at the end of march and we can meet then to discuss what happened. i'm not sure if I want to go or not. 1 hr seems like no where near enough time. and that's still a month away. sigh.
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Re: Would this be really mean and immature?
Hi Liese... yes there is another way to deal with your anger and I think it would be less harmful to you in the long run. You could post here for one thing, which is what you are doing, and that is good. And you can write him a letter explaining how you feel now, how he made you feel in session, why you felt you needed to have the email option open and anythiing else you need to say to him. Then read it to him when he gets back and you are in session with him. If you leave that vm you are...
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Re: why do I still hurt so much?
Wow, you guys it is honestly hard to keep up with all your amazing support for me! It is a very nice problem to have though. Thank you for caring about me. So I will just say, a few things that strike me. AG: this was a big comfort to me, AG, Do you really think so? I hope so, I hope he does understand. Puppet thank you for your reassurances too, and also, you, LadyGrey. Kashley the thing is, that when I was in a fairy decent spot, he really did feel like the *perfect* T for me. He truly...
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Re: Hello
Hello everyone. I went with my better judgement and talked to my t about what I was feeling. I faxed a letter to her. She said that was okay to do that. I think I had mentioned to you guys that I am a straight A student but I have really been struggling with the class I am in now. I have been under a lot of stress lately and it just all hit me a once. So along with telling my T how I felt, I also vented which she has always encouraged me to do. It took everything I had inside of me to write...
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Re: missing mom
Hi CG, Sorry to hear of your loss. It's been less than a year so I can understand how painful that must be for you. My mom's been gone since March 18, 1996, every year (for weeks around that time) since her death I have had a difficult time dealing with my grief (hence the reason I haven't been on here for a few weeks). Like TN and CT I was abused and neglected by my mother as a child, and It's probably the loss of a mother that I grieve as opposed to the loss of the woman she was. It sounds...
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Re: Where's Mom when I need her?
{{{CG}}} On the lighter side of things I was just wondering .. have you been to Mexico lately? Oink Oink My disclaimer here is that I suck at offering this sort of support, but I'd like to try. So I'm sorry if it's useless to you. I mostly want you to know that I'm thinking about you. March 18th 1996 is the day my mom passed away. I spent my entire life hating her and resenting her for everything she did to or didn't do for me, so much so that I've never really grieved the loss. But every...
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Re: My weird session
I've tried to post from my phone and lost the posts. Thanks for your support. I am trying to stay present and safe. I don't want to walk into a bus either. I've probably made my T seem callous but it is complicated and I appreciate what he was trying to show me even though it is hard for me right now. I'm away from a computer today because a friend and I are traveling to a nearby city to see a sold out performance of Jesus Christ superstar which finishes here in Canada this week and is going...
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Re: *Updated* Update and a question about what you talk about in therapy
((((( xoxo ))))) Thanks so much for being happy for me and for your encouragement to keep on going. Yes I see what you are saying about rage being a displacement (or at least a defence) of other feelings – I think my T has understood that and that’s why he’s so willing to accept my anger. I could never understand why other Ts seemed hellbent on discouraging it when it’s so obviously the way through to those other feelings . Being required to shut down on and avoid angry feelings in therapy...
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Re: Recent Sessions UPDATE from Today
((((Cat, Liese, Mayo, incognito))) Thank you for your encouragement. I will page him tomorrow if I need him. We have been working on discussing an old attachment relationship that I had years ago which ended very badly for various reasons. I had told old T but we never processed it and the feelings that go along with it and it just got really intense today. I was freaking out as soon as I walked in because I didn't know where to sit. My T nicely asked where are we gonna sit today? and that...
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Re: how do I end with T? (updated: too much, too fast)
thank you BLT and effed 2 more hours to go until I see her. 1.5 hours until I leave. (oh this can't be good that I am counting down by the half hour until my appointment. ) I will not cancel, I will not cancel, I will not cancel... breathing, (or at least trying to) ~ jane edited to update: I went. It was hard. I'm glad I went. I feel a mountain of anxiety right now - like seperation anxiety... but I also feel a little relief. And a ton of feelings. I am going to be able to go back and see...
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Re: Feeling like a PITA
I'm struggling right now with ED behaviors myself. Honestly, they've not been this severe since high school. (1980s) My T doesn't know anything about my ED behavior at all. It wasn't an issue when I started with him in November. I'd had it under control for years... I'm struggling with how to bring the issue up, especially since it's increased so dramatically since March. I'm so afraid he'll be angry and say "why did you wait so long to tell me?" I like your idea of writing a letter, R2G.
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Re: Newbies - Where are you?
I feel I can offer a bit of support sometimes. Sometimes I learn so much and find this as a place where people can relate and I can relate to them. I am in awe of how many can function "from my view" in jobs/life and such. I feel like this is where "I live" to a great extent...it's hard to be vulnerable as many have pointed out and worry that there will be no replies. I have checked out a few other forums but never posted on those as I find the support here like no other forum just by...
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Re: Change in Relationship with my T
Thanks for the kind words everyone. I feel like I just keep screwing up and screwing up. On Monday, I admitted to wanting to be submissive to him and how a lot of the things I say and do have something to do with that. Now I don't trust myself or my desires or anything and I feel like I need to be quiet before I screw something else up. Its not helping that I'm so anxious and wired that I havn't been able to eat or sleep well in the last several days. *frustrated*
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Re: Help / Transference / I'm Pathetic
Hi All Sometimes I don’t know what to write but I love SG's quote above and will keep sticking it in my posts to remind me I just need to write / keep talking / share what my T is saying. I feel so much better after seeing my T yesterday. In fact I feel stronger today. I was really honest with her about her needing to understand how hard I find it to express myself being vulnerable. It’s almost like I feel that I NEED to let myself be vulnerable in front of her in order to move forward...
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Re: Would you like to become a psychotherapist?
Hi Amazon, Great question! I actually talked to my T about what he thought about me becoming a therapist and like TNs T (a wise man ), he said that he often feels like people who have done significant healing in therapy often make the best therapists. I was also concerned about bringing my own stuff into the room and my T reassured me that everyone has their own "stuff" and the point of internships and supervision is to teach you to keep it out of the room. I've checked into getting an MSW...
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Re: Music lists
Hey Guys, Here are a few of my favs. *** means you should definitely listen to it! Dashboard Confessional: - Again i go unnoticed - So beautiful - Hands down - Morning calls - Bend and not break - For you to notice*** Demon Hunter: - Deteriorate Kids in the Way: - Phoenix with a heartache Nichole Nordeman: - Grattitude*** Relient K: - Let it all out*** - High of 75 - More than useless - I so hate consequences*** - Deathbed Run Kid Run: - The modern march - Captives come home - I'll forever...
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MIA
Hi All, Just wanted to give you all a heads up about my schedule. I'm a technical writer and we're heading into a final release on the software which is always my busiest time (nature of the beast the last one to know is always the writer! ) and to make it worse, my computer system at work died on Monday and I lost three days of work getting a new system set up and recovering my work. So for the next three weeks or so I'm going to be working some serious OT (this is probably my last Saturday...
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Hello
Hi, I am new here as far as registering here, but I have been lurking and reading for quite some time. I am on meds for clinical depression, panic/anxiety attacks, agoraphobia, claustrophobia, migraines & Chronic Back Pain. For me, I have been struggling with these problems for a minimum of over 38 years, but more likely even longer than that as to childhood probs of abuse, (i.e.) sexual, incest, mental, verbal, emotional & physical abuses. I have always known of the abuse to a...
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confused and frustrated
im new to this site but id like to say that its been a revelation to me as so many posts have struck a chord with me where i feel vindicated in a way to my frustration with my P. i feel empowered to speak up and to ask for someone else to help me. she made me feel like im at fault and that my feelings were wrong to have. i didnt know so many people feel really really bad after a session and that my P should really have tailored the session to not end on a raw point for me. its like she is...
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Unspoken Spoken Word
When I was at the conference, I heard this beautiful spoken word artists named Nafessa Monroe. Oh... How I wish I could and was willing to share my writing out loud... her work inspired me to attempt a spoken word style poem.. i have it in my head...the way the lines are to be read but that I cannot share here... however I wanted to still write out what I have written and see what you all think of it.... March 16, 2008- spoken word inspired 1st poem I try to imagine myself Feeling trauma...
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leap of faith.
. I told T at least once a day for a few minutes I feel like I'm going to lose it, and go into some kind of nutter butter state. It's like a wall will be removed, or the rock that I hide under will expose me to something I might not be able to cope with. And If I dared to think too much about that state of mind it might happen. T says it is the final separation from the Ma feeling that is very close to happening now I'm not sure if it is a fearful or factual feeling while this forgone...
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T is sick. :(
So, T sent me a text saying could I do 9:00 pm on Tuesday. I sent back, "Yes." Then started projecting horrible thoughts like how he is so tired from my neediness and BS that seeing me Monday makes Tuesday too difficult to deal with. I almost texted that I quit or wanted to skip (because I was "sure" he was wishing I would) instead of dealing with it. Instead, I let him know what I was projecting and that I knew it wasn't true, but it felt real, and that I was texting to "deny" the power of...
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**Update** Panic Alleviated
I know it's been a while, but you might remember that way back in March my NT (nutritionist) went on maternity leave. Her departure was excruciating, and T and I spent countless sessions talking about it. In the interim, I saw one of NTs colleagues. I didn't like her at all, at first, but by the time I said goodbye to her last week, I was a bit choked up. Not that I'll miss her, but it was an ending, and I hate endings. Strangely, though, and this is what I need help with, I am so anxious...
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Talking Love Part II
I wanted to share something with you all about love in therapy. Because this topic has been in the front of my mind lately and because I wanted to write my T a special Christmas letter, I decided to go back and re-read my journal for 2012. What I found surprised me because I sort of forgot the conversation we had in March about love. I'm going to copy what my T said here. I was worried and nervous about telling him how I feel about him but I think I found my own answer about how he would...