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Mine is 32, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He has longish hair for a guy. He dresses well, always casual but stylish... either he just has a good fashion sense or his wife picks out his clothes. I don’t think its transference if I were to say he’s attractive… I mean I think if you asked anyone they would say he’s just technically an attractive person... lol!
Mac,
He sounds handsome. I bet it is doubly hard having an attractive when you are dealing with transference! Sometimes when I am struggling with transference issues with T1, I look at pictures of her to remind myself that she is kind of homely looking and is not somebody that I would normally be attracted to. But if she were pretty....I think it would be twice as a hard!
He sounds handsome. I bet it is doubly hard having an attractive when you are dealing with transference! Sometimes when I am struggling with transference issues with T1, I look at pictures of her to remind myself that she is kind of homely looking and is not somebody that I would normally be attracted to. But if she were pretty....I think it would be twice as a hard!
My T is probably in his mid-50's...always very sharply dressed, not suit and tie, but usually nice slacks and either sweater or button up....I too think that he is a very nice looking man, but really don't feel any transference like that for him, just sayin. When I do make occasional eye contact with him, I suppose it does help that he is easy on my eyes! Wouldn't trade him for the world.
LG this is such a fascinating thread. Both of my male Ts are in their 50's. I think it's a good age because they have a lot of experience (or should have!) and they are not so old to be near retirement. Anyway, that is my take on the age factor.
First ... oldT... there is nothing that logically would attract me to someone like him. He is not my usual "type" of guy. When I first met him I was like.... gee I wish he were better looking" LOL. Famous last words. Everytime I saw him he just got better looking and more endearing to me. He does have some features that reminded me of my Dad. Okay... he is about 5'9" and his build is stocky and sometimes pudgey. He had gained a lot of weight in those months before he ended with me, which almost makes me wonder if he was either depressed or eating out of anxiety or something. He has thick, dark, wavy hair and the most expressive, warm brown eyes behind rectangular glasses. Sometimes he grows a beard, especially while on his summer vacation in August and then shaves it off for the next summer (June). Sometimes it's full face and sometimes just sort of mustache/goatee look. I loved the beard because it made him look dashing and romantic or very scholarly and professorish. I could never decide LOL. I loved his thick hair that was most times unruly and messy looking. He had no familiarity with gel or hairspray. He had really nice hands. Wore only a wedding ring and a nice leather strap watch. He dressed mostly in dockers and in summer short sleeve polo shirts and in winter dockers and dress shirts with sweaters. Sometimes he wore cardigan type sweaters and other times those pullovers with the half zip iin front. He favored light color pants, probably not to show all the dog hair LOL... as doggie was a big shedder. He wore these funny looking suede clog shoes in winter and in summer he wore deck type shoes. He usually looked rumpled and unpressed... sort of like a distracted brilliant professor whose last thoughts were of how he looked. I have seen him in shorts and t-shirts too, many times at camp. He looked good in shorts LOL. I have seen him twice in a tie at seminars he ran that I attended. Awful old style ties. I used to get annoyed that he wife didn't sort of help him out with the dressing but she dressed just as out of style. And maybe she gave up on him too... who knows?
NewT is a much more snappy dresser LOL. He wears nicely pressed and sharp dress slacks, mostly in dark colors like black, navy and charcoal gray. He wears dress shirts also freshly pressed in colors like white and blue. Lately as our weather has turned colder he adds nice, new looking sweaters. So far I have only seen him in a brown one, and two grays. He has dark hair, combed back. It's straight and not so thick as oldT. He does not wear glasses (contact??) and has brown eyes that I don't look at too much yet. He wears fuddy duddy shoes although one day he wore this great looking suede shoes... so he has promise LOL. He wears a watch and his wedding ring. He is taller than I am and taller than oldT and he is also spare tire pudgey. He is not as classically featured and handsome as old T was, especially when old T was not overweight. I have not seen him in summer so I don't know what he wears in hot weather.
It has been interesting reading about everyone's Ts/Ps, especially the women. The only woman I every saw .. D... was extremely casual and plain. No jewelry, no make up. Mid 50's, long wildish hair, and she would wear cargo type capri pants and cotton tank tops and what looked like slippers. It was like she ran in from gardening or doing laundry to see me.
Thanks for sharing everyone.
TN
First ... oldT... there is nothing that logically would attract me to someone like him. He is not my usual "type" of guy. When I first met him I was like.... gee I wish he were better looking" LOL. Famous last words. Everytime I saw him he just got better looking and more endearing to me. He does have some features that reminded me of my Dad. Okay... he is about 5'9" and his build is stocky and sometimes pudgey. He had gained a lot of weight in those months before he ended with me, which almost makes me wonder if he was either depressed or eating out of anxiety or something. He has thick, dark, wavy hair and the most expressive, warm brown eyes behind rectangular glasses. Sometimes he grows a beard, especially while on his summer vacation in August and then shaves it off for the next summer (June). Sometimes it's full face and sometimes just sort of mustache/goatee look. I loved the beard because it made him look dashing and romantic or very scholarly and professorish. I could never decide LOL. I loved his thick hair that was most times unruly and messy looking. He had no familiarity with gel or hairspray. He had really nice hands. Wore only a wedding ring and a nice leather strap watch. He dressed mostly in dockers and in summer short sleeve polo shirts and in winter dockers and dress shirts with sweaters. Sometimes he wore cardigan type sweaters and other times those pullovers with the half zip iin front. He favored light color pants, probably not to show all the dog hair LOL... as doggie was a big shedder. He wore these funny looking suede clog shoes in winter and in summer he wore deck type shoes. He usually looked rumpled and unpressed... sort of like a distracted brilliant professor whose last thoughts were of how he looked. I have seen him in shorts and t-shirts too, many times at camp. He looked good in shorts LOL. I have seen him twice in a tie at seminars he ran that I attended. Awful old style ties. I used to get annoyed that he wife didn't sort of help him out with the dressing but she dressed just as out of style. And maybe she gave up on him too... who knows?
NewT is a much more snappy dresser LOL. He wears nicely pressed and sharp dress slacks, mostly in dark colors like black, navy and charcoal gray. He wears dress shirts also freshly pressed in colors like white and blue. Lately as our weather has turned colder he adds nice, new looking sweaters. So far I have only seen him in a brown one, and two grays. He has dark hair, combed back. It's straight and not so thick as oldT. He does not wear glasses (contact??) and has brown eyes that I don't look at too much yet. He wears fuddy duddy shoes although one day he wore this great looking suede shoes... so he has promise LOL. He wears a watch and his wedding ring. He is taller than I am and taller than oldT and he is also spare tire pudgey. He is not as classically featured and handsome as old T was, especially when old T was not overweight. I have not seen him in summer so I don't know what he wears in hot weather.
It has been interesting reading about everyone's Ts/Ps, especially the women. The only woman I every saw .. D... was extremely casual and plain. No jewelry, no make up. Mid 50's, long wildish hair, and she would wear cargo type capri pants and cotton tank tops and what looked like slippers. It was like she ran in from gardening or doing laundry to see me.
Thanks for sharing everyone.
TN
This a fun thread! Thanks to all who have participated. I apologize for not realizing in advance that this could be a potentially uncomfortable topic for some people to answer. It honestly never occurred to me that anyone's T would be reading this forum! I can see how that would be uncomfortable!
anyway, I've enjoyed reading the descriptions of your T's, you guys and think its interesting that so many of them seem to be in their 50s.
anyway, I've enjoyed reading the descriptions of your T's, you guys and think its interesting that so many of them seem to be in their 50s.
My T is a nice dresser too, not suits though. He's not bad looking. He seems like a fussy neat freak about his appearance so it's funny he has "5:00 shadow" already at morning sessions. He gets his hair cut way too short sometimes and then I feel like he's not my same T (I tell him that and he smiles). He is very health conscious and works out. I don't know how old he is but I would guess around my age (mid 40's) because he always knows what I'm talking about as far as old movies/TV/music. ~D.
My 1st T was 33, dark brown hair, brown eyes, dark complextion but very pretty, short, very petite and she had a captivating smile. She always dressed very neatly and stylish, usually a skirt and pretty blouse but also wore nice dress slacks and casual blouses. She wore nice jewerly and ear rings, not much make-up but then she really didn't need it.
My current T is 60 about 5'2, beautiful complection, fair skin, blue eyes, short hair (wash and comb style), slight graying, wears small jewlery such as ring, dainty ear rings, and necklace, she is very pretty. She dresses casual all the time, mostly dress slacks or courdaroy slacks and nice blouses or sweaters, always nice shoes. She has a beautiful smile and when she laughs her eyes Twinkle, has a great sense of humor I think but then she has a bit of a warped sense of humor like me. But the thing I really love is that she has the most wonderful soft, sweet, calming voice. She is very active, she rides her bike in good weather 40 to 50 miles a day on the week-ends and during winter she goes on large hikes.
My current T is 60 about 5'2, beautiful complection, fair skin, blue eyes, short hair (wash and comb style), slight graying, wears small jewlery such as ring, dainty ear rings, and necklace, she is very pretty. She dresses casual all the time, mostly dress slacks or courdaroy slacks and nice blouses or sweaters, always nice shoes. She has a beautiful smile and when she laughs her eyes Twinkle, has a great sense of humor I think but then she has a bit of a warped sense of humor like me. But the thing I really love is that she has the most wonderful soft, sweet, calming voice. She is very active, she rides her bike in good weather 40 to 50 miles a day on the week-ends and during winter she goes on large hikes.
My T is 59, tall, about 225, blonde hair and blue eyes, mustache and goatee. Attractive not handsome. He has a massive receding hairline, and combs everything else straight back with gel I guess. His eyes are a little too squinty to be devastatingly blue. He wears no scent.
What I have noticed about his clothes. He never varies - ever - regardless of season. Always a white dress shirt, khaki slacks (the occasional charcoal), black boots, and a handful of too-wide colorless ties (all tans/blacks/weird big blocky patterns - none of which I like). I finally figured out he wears crew neck, sleeveless undershirts (oddly enough it was driving me crazy for a while - his white shirts are slightly sheer, and I couln't figure out how he was managing that). No jewelry except a watch and wedding ring.
I think his intent is to be professional and not introduce change.
His real life persona is very different, from what I can gather - jeans, shorts, t-shirts.
My former T was amazing. Petite, short pixie hair, fabulous stylish expensive bohemian clothes, impeccable taste, light makeup, wedding rings, earrings, and nice necklaces (but seldom bracelets or anything that would make noise or be distracting). AND she must have had 700 pair of shoes. I stared at the ground for a long time, so always noticed her tiny feet in amazing shoes and boots. I could always tell when she was going somewhere after the session, as she would be a little more doled up, a little heavier makeup, and a light scent.
My favorite P (who died, which is in itself a sad story of abandonment, loss, without closure) wore sweaters sometimes, and had a wonderful soft buttery-looking leather jacker. His stuffy partner that I saw for a while afterwards aways wore suits and looked like he had a broom.........well you get the picture.
Fun thread, Lady....
What I have noticed about his clothes. He never varies - ever - regardless of season. Always a white dress shirt, khaki slacks (the occasional charcoal), black boots, and a handful of too-wide colorless ties (all tans/blacks/weird big blocky patterns - none of which I like). I finally figured out he wears crew neck, sleeveless undershirts (oddly enough it was driving me crazy for a while - his white shirts are slightly sheer, and I couln't figure out how he was managing that). No jewelry except a watch and wedding ring.
I think his intent is to be professional and not introduce change.
His real life persona is very different, from what I can gather - jeans, shorts, t-shirts.
My former T was amazing. Petite, short pixie hair, fabulous stylish expensive bohemian clothes, impeccable taste, light makeup, wedding rings, earrings, and nice necklaces (but seldom bracelets or anything that would make noise or be distracting). AND she must have had 700 pair of shoes. I stared at the ground for a long time, so always noticed her tiny feet in amazing shoes and boots. I could always tell when she was going somewhere after the session, as she would be a little more doled up, a little heavier makeup, and a light scent.
My favorite P (who died, which is in itself a sad story of abandonment, loss, without closure) wore sweaters sometimes, and had a wonderful soft buttery-looking leather jacker. His stuffy partner that I saw for a while afterwards aways wore suits and looked like he had a broom.........well you get the picture.
Fun thread, Lady....
oh, nice question! My T is old- 70 and has dark hair and a mustache! Clear, kind, blue eyes. He dresses VERY straight (he`s not the fashion guy) almost "Granpha" like. Oh-and he always weares black shoes inside the office, and another pare outside. Always a genuin, calm and warm appearence. `He`s really hansome to be an old man, (lol, in my "objective" meaning!)
Interesting and slightly scary thread 
Draggers love the seed you've planted - can't wait to see if it works
I'm not sure I'd cope if my T read anything I wrote here - not that there's much personal stuff but love that yours uses the site as a check up for you - she really is lovely and caring
My T would have to be a little older than me - maybe late 60's but I think early 70's and is a total braniac with so many degrees - how she raised so many children is beyond me Gray fine hair in mid, below ears bob, brown doe like eyes, fabulous skin, a beautiful smile, totally warped sense of humour and a fabulous infectious laugh Clothes vary but always SO stylish - she'd look great in a paper bag and she definitely has a thing for shoes - she has lots of ballet slipper types (so not me types). Jewellery on right hand, sometimes hoop earrings and large face watch on left wrist. Basically she has a great inner and outer package 
She's great *sigh*.
Morgs
Draggers love the seed you've planted - can't wait to see if it works
I'm not sure I'd cope if my T read anything I wrote here - not that there's much personal stuff but love that yours uses the site as a check up for you - she really is lovely and caring My T would have to be a little older than me - maybe late 60's but I think early 70's and is a total braniac with so many degrees - how she raised so many children is beyond me
Gray fine hair in mid, below ears bob, brown doe like eyes, fabulous skin, a beautiful smile, totally warped sense of humour and a fabulous infectious laugh Clothes vary but always SO stylish - she'd look great in a paper bag and she definitely has a thing for shoes - she has lots of ballet slipper types (so not me types). Jewellery on right hand, sometimes hoop earrings and large face watch on left wrist. Basically she has a great inner and outer package She's great *sigh*.Morgs
Woooo hooo I think my T wins the youngest prize!!!
And LadyGrey... Ya it would not work for me to look at a picture of my T... Lol!
And LadyGrey... Ya it would not work for me to look at a picture of my T... Lol!
quote:I have a question... what do you all wear to your sessions?
During the winter I've been wearing my Steve Madden grey high heeled boots, skinny jeans, my long black pea coat, and a nice top or sweater usually from H&M, with my black Balenciaga bag.
WOW Mac, sounds spiffy!
What I wear. Hmmmm very triggering for me. I am going through an incredibly self-conscious stage right now. I have trouble with my T even looking at me. He makes a nice comment about something all the time. But lately I have been taking a small light weight blanket with me. I dress to hide. Black pants and a top or jacket, athough I take care with my hair and pick some funky socks!
What I wear. Hmmmm very triggering for me. I am going through an incredibly self-conscious stage right now. I have trouble with my T even looking at me. He makes a nice comment about something all the time. But lately I have been taking a small light weight blanket with me. I dress to hide. Black pants and a top or jacket, athough I take care with my hair and pick some funky socks!
With T1, my sessions are over the phone because we live 1000 miles apart, so I'm usually in my pajamas!
With T2, I either go in workout clothes or skinny jeans, boots, and a sweater. In the summer I will probably wear skirts and dresses because I don't own any shorts and don't have a lot of summer pants.
With T2, I either go in workout clothes or skinny jeans, boots, and a sweater. In the summer I will probably wear skirts and dresses because I don't own any shorts and don't have a lot of summer pants.
You know, I was thinking about the clothing to wear to T again and I wanted to add that I never wear skirts or shorts because it feels too vulnerable. I rarely wear them out in real life either, but I don't feel comfortable in T with less clothing on. I also prefer to be comfy and wear clothes that I can easily move around in because we do a lot of body work in therapy and it requires that I move around or at least that I can move around easily.
What a neat thread. MY T is in her 40's and dresses very nice. She has long brown hair. My D just turned 50 and is tall any dresses very stylish. She has long blond hair and green eyes. I would consider them pretty not just from their appearence but what's inside their soul.
PG
PG
I love reading everyone's posts here.
My P is in his late 60's. He has great, warm, blue eyes and gray, thinning hair. He is rather short, about 5ft 4in. but that doesn't bother me because I am short also, only 5 feet tall. He dresses impeccably neat. His dress shirts are starched and pressed and he either wears a jacket or sweater. Always a tie. I once saw him in casual clothes and really almost didn't recognize him!!
As for what I wear to therapy sessions, it depends on how i am feeling emotionally. If I am not in a good space I just throw on anything comfortable (sweat pants, oversized T shirt,sweat shirt). Otherwise, I usually wear jeans and casual shirt. Don't usually bother with make-up or jewelry because I hate putting on the make-up and since I'm not going to work I don't bother.
I am overweight,(but losing a lot lately ) and don't like to think that he is looking at me and seeing how fat I really am. There is a blanket on one of the chairs and I ALWAYS grab it and have it over myself to hide 
Love this thread.
Holding On
My P is in his late 60's. He has great, warm, blue eyes and gray, thinning hair. He is rather short, about 5ft 4in. but that doesn't bother me because I am short also, only 5 feet tall. He dresses impeccably neat. His dress shirts are starched and pressed and he either wears a jacket or sweater. Always a tie. I once saw him in casual clothes and really almost didn't recognize him!!
As for what I wear to therapy sessions, it depends on how i am feeling emotionally. If I am not in a good space I just throw on anything comfortable (sweat pants, oversized T shirt,sweat shirt). Otherwise, I usually wear jeans and casual shirt. Don't usually bother with make-up or jewelry because I hate putting on the make-up and since I'm not going to work I don't bother.
I am overweight,(but losing a lot lately
) and don't like to think that he is looking at me and seeing how fat I really am. There is a blanket on one of the chairs and I ALWAYS grab it and have it over myself to hide Love this thread.
Holding On
I usually saw OldT on my lunch hour or directly after work so I was dressed for work. I would wear dress slacks, high heels, nice sweater or slinky blouse with bright colors. I wear a lot of jewel tones and bright prints. In the summer I would wear capris and short sleeve tops or tanks with embellishments. I love jewelry so I always wore earring, necklaces, bracelets and rings and a watch. I wear make up always. I also wore a lot of sundresses this past summer, sometimes with a shrug over them if they were very bare on top. I like the long maxi dresses with high heels or high platform wedgie sandals.
I have only seen newT in colder weather so I've been wearing slacks and sweaters. The past few visits have been during vacation so I've worn leggings, or skinny jeans with high boots and a tunic sweater. I saw him just before Christmas and wore a red velvet skirt and top and he complimented me and asked if I was going out after work LOL. Pretty startling to hear that because it meant that he really "sees" me.
And yes sometimes how I feel influences how I dress. If I feel scared and awful I cover up more and if I'm feeling confident and happy I wear brighter colors, more form fitting clothing and just feel better inside my body. It's interesting how hin the first 6 months of last year 2010, I had changed my style of dressing a lot. I was happier and more self-confident and felt I was coming into my own. I was not dressing to please my mother or to hide myself away. I was becoming more ME. That all changed after being terminated by oldT. I have gone back to hiding mode again, in general, except for those days when I see newT. Hmmm... wonder what is going on with that??
This is such a great thread.
TN
I have only seen newT in colder weather so I've been wearing slacks and sweaters. The past few visits have been during vacation so I've worn leggings, or skinny jeans with high boots and a tunic sweater. I saw him just before Christmas and wore a red velvet skirt and top and he complimented me and asked if I was going out after work LOL. Pretty startling to hear that because it meant that he really "sees" me.
And yes sometimes how I feel influences how I dress. If I feel scared and awful I cover up more and if I'm feeling confident and happy I wear brighter colors, more form fitting clothing and just feel better inside my body. It's interesting how hin the first 6 months of last year 2010, I had changed my style of dressing a lot. I was happier and more self-confident and felt I was coming into my own. I was not dressing to please my mother or to hide myself away. I was becoming more ME. That all changed after being terminated by oldT. I have gone back to hiding mode again, in general, except for those days when I see newT. Hmmm... wonder what is going on with that??
This is such a great thread.
TN
I never leave the house without makeup either, but I never wear mascara to T. That's just asking for a mess. 
I suppose I could try waterproof, but I'm not a huge mascara fan anyway so I just skip it.
Draggers, of course we dress alike! We're cool like that.
I suppose I could try waterproof, but I'm not a huge mascara fan anyway so I just skip it. Draggers, of course we dress alike! We're cool like that.
I always wear makeup to therapy. I have never cried in therapy, but I do wear waterproof....just in case its my breakthrough session, lol.
I probably only wear makeup half the time, even though makeup is my number one hobby and love!
Covergirl LashBlast Volume waterproof mascara is amazing by the way... And for eyeliner Bobbi Brown long-wear gel liners are incredible.
Covergirl LashBlast Volume waterproof mascara is amazing by the way... And for eyeliner Bobbi Brown long-wear gel liners are incredible.
Hey Mac thanks for the Bobbi Brown tip.
You know when I first saw your screen name I thought of M.A.C. cosmetics!
TN
You know when I first saw your screen name I thought of M.A.C. cosmetics!
TN
quote:Originally posted by Mac:
I probably only wear makeup half the time, even though makeup is my number one hobby and love!
Covergirl LashBlast Volume waterproof mascara is amazing by the way... And for eyeliner Bobbi Brown long-wear gel liners are incredible.
We are long lost twins separated at birth, Mac! I wear that brand of mascara AND the BB gel liner!! I love it!
No problem 
Hehe, that's so funny LG!!
Hehe, that's so funny LG!!
I'd never go out without make up . All my waterproof mascara seems to run...will definitely try the Covergirl LashBlast Volume. My tip is to carry a small mirror, a pack of make up removing wipes and a tiny travel mascara in your handbag for touch-ups to those panda eyes at the end of a session.
Oh and I dress like frosty..would have written it the same I think, definitely a shortish skirts, cardigans and boots girl or jeans and a top ...not the leggings though...cos remember I'm still old enough to be your mother
starfish
. All my waterproof mascara seems to run...will definitely try the Covergirl LashBlast Volume. My tip is to carry a small mirror, a pack of make up removing wipes and a tiny travel mascara in your handbag for touch-ups to those panda eyes at the end of a session. Oh and I dress like frosty..would have written it the same I think, definitely a shortish skirts, cardigans and boots girl or jeans and a top ...not the leggings though...cos remember I'm still old enough to be your mother
starfish
i still havent manage to cry in therapy, so i just wear whatever mascare i can find! When its warm up here i wear shorts and T-shirts and leggins and stuff, but most of the time its so cold here i just wrap myself in one of T`s warm blankets! (lol, i do waer warm clothes underneath though!)
Starfishy- i am sure you look great!
When its warm up here i wear shorts and T-shirts and leggins and stuff, but most of the time its so cold here i just wrap myself in one of T`s warm blankets! (lol, i do waer warm clothes underneath though!)Starfishy- i am sure you look great!
thanks for the make up tips,
funny, my t recently commented on how 'together' i always look when i come in, how she has to remind herself of (what crappy shape i am in).
i do look good coming in...but coming out??? i shoulda asked her what she thought about THAT look!!
"panda eyes" would suggest that some mascara is still left on the face...NOOOOOO...mine is ten tissues back, and miles away.
i'll give your brands the 'jill/dbt' test and let you know!
as to what they look like??
t1, attractive, arrogant, tall, a bit dorky but in a nice package, dark hair, don't know eye color...shouldn't wear sweaters, particularly yellow ones....
t2, dr. sleepy...certainly one of freud's contemporaries, yet still, partially, living...old...
t3, stinky t that gave me the boot? short, fat, smelly, mean, kind....misleading eyes that turn to kill with too much revelation of need of therapy, size 6 boot imprint left in my forehead, so, small feet.
dbt gal? pretty, young, blonde, question on eye color. dresses well. a bit uncaring in a pretty package.
NOW, for what i would like them to look like??? male, for sure. i guess i do have women issues. not younger than me, nor my age-ish (which excludes anyone 0 to 65 or so). neutral in looks. shorter than me. direct. no tippy toeing nice-stuff. honest. able to show emotion, but together. empathetic, but holds boundaries (whereever i need them). patient, but 'in control' and one not to let me spin out of bounds, upfront...able to bring up topics, ask questions, bring to task issues i may be avoiding and resisting. pushes me a bit, but not too far....but CERTAINLY doesn't just let me stay stagnant for very long.
jill
funny, my t recently commented on how 'together' i always look when i come in, how she has to remind herself of (what crappy shape i am in).
i do look good coming in...but coming out??? i shoulda asked her what she thought about THAT look!!
"panda eyes" would suggest that some mascara is still left on the face...NOOOOOO...mine is ten tissues back, and miles away.
i'll give your brands the 'jill/dbt' test and let you know!
as to what they look like??
t1, attractive, arrogant, tall, a bit dorky but in a nice package, dark hair, don't know eye color...shouldn't wear sweaters, particularly yellow ones....
t2, dr. sleepy...certainly one of freud's contemporaries, yet still, partially, living...old...
t3, stinky t that gave me the boot? short, fat, smelly, mean, kind....misleading eyes that turn to kill with too much revelation of need of therapy, size 6 boot imprint left in my forehead, so, small feet.
dbt gal? pretty, young, blonde, question on eye color. dresses well. a bit uncaring in a pretty package.
NOW, for what i would like them to look like??? male, for sure. i guess i do have women issues. not younger than me, nor my age-ish (which excludes anyone 0 to 65 or so). neutral in looks. shorter than me. direct. no tippy toeing nice-stuff. honest. able to show emotion, but together. empathetic, but holds boundaries (whereever i need them). patient, but 'in control' and one not to let me spin out of bounds, upfront...able to bring up topics, ask questions, bring to task issues i may be avoiding and resisting. pushes me a bit, but not too far....but CERTAINLY doesn't just let me stay stagnant for very long.
jill
My therapist is 48 years old and dresses in a similar manner for each session. He wears boat shoes, socks and either dress pants or pressed dockers. His pants are either too big or he has no butt, either way the ass is droopy and they have that diaper bottom look. He always wears button up the front dress shirts, usually in pastels although sometimes bright colours. He does have some shirts with designs but they are classically styled. On rare occasions he wears a tie, I think only on the days when he has a new client coming in. He carries a small cloth knapsack and wears a dark tradition winter coat.
Since I see him in the middle of a work day, I am usually wearing work clothes which vary from suit jackets and dress pants, to jeans and a hoodie, I am very aware of how I dress on therapy days, usually either dressing up a bit, although sometimes I feel the need to be comfy in session. I knew last session was going to be tough so i wore my favorite jeans a nice shirt and my favorite hoodie. I always do my hair and wear some makeup but I wear makeup all the time.
I remember when i stared therapy 4 years ago that i was pleased that my therapist dressed professionally. I am very sensitive to dress (it is a transference issue) and needed that seriousness and professionalism.
Holding On - I find it interesting that you always grab the blanket. My therapist has pillows on his sofa and I used to always have one in my lap during session, As i started to feel better i didn't need to anymore. Now when i an vulnerable i pick it up and put it in my lap. I remember during one bas session holding the pillow like a child would hold a stuffed animal.
I remember when i stared therapy 4 years ago that i was pleased that my therapist dressed professionally. I am very sensitive to dress (it is a transference issue) and needed that seriousness and professionalism.
Catnip
Since I see him in the middle of a work day, I am usually wearing work clothes which vary from suit jackets and dress pants, to jeans and a hoodie, I am very aware of how I dress on therapy days, usually either dressing up a bit, although sometimes I feel the need to be comfy in session. I knew last session was going to be tough so i wore my favorite jeans a nice shirt and my favorite hoodie. I always do my hair and wear some makeup but I wear makeup all the time.
I remember when i stared therapy 4 years ago that i was pleased that my therapist dressed professionally. I am very sensitive to dress (it is a transference issue) and needed that seriousness and professionalism.
Holding On - I find it interesting that you always grab the blanket. My therapist has pillows on his sofa and I used to always have one in my lap during session, As i started to feel better i didn't need to anymore. Now when i an vulnerable i pick it up and put it in my lap. I remember during one bas session holding the pillow like a child would hold a stuffed animal.
I remember when i stared therapy 4 years ago that i was pleased that my therapist dressed professionally. I am very sensitive to dress (it is a transference issue) and needed that seriousness and professionalism.
Catnip
My T wears what you could probably call "business casual". Slacks, sometimes nice jeans. Capris when it's warm (which she looks really nice in because she has really pretty calves and ankles...which I probably take note of because mine are NOT pretty). Shoes are always some kind of flat (or sandals in the summer). Her tops are always nice blouses, or sweaters when it's colder. This next part is probably TMI but I always notice it...sometimes her neckline is open enough to where a bra strap shows and it's always lacy and some pretty color. I guess I notice it because I have a thing myself for pretty underthings. Anyway...she's in her late 40s, with shoulder-length blonde hair, maybe an inch or two taller than me (putting her at about 5'8" or 5'9") and is in really good shape. She is intelligent and focused and attentive and I think she's beautiful, especially when she smiles and laughs. I get the impression she is single and likes it that way...like she's devoted her life to helping others. But it's hard to get a certain reading on that because she's so good at keeping "her stuff" out of the room and focusing on me.
SG
SG
quote:(which she looks really nice in because she has really pretty calves and ankles...which I probably take note of because mine are NOT pretty)
Oh my gosh, this made me chuckle. Why? Because I think the EXACT same thing. I despise my ankles and calves (well, let's be honest...my whole body, but I digress). I think T has the nicest looking legs and I always admire her ankles. Yes, seriously.
Of course part of the reason I hate mine so much is that they so closely resemble my mother's. Ick!Ok, I think that is the first thing I've ever typed on here that I would feel weird about my T reading.
Sheesh, you know how many threads have ended with me lately? Seriously, someone else post or I might start to develop a complex.
Anyway, funny story...today in T the ankle thing sort of came up. T was trying to get the feeling back in her feet and I was sitting there and suddenly realized that I was staring at her feet and ankles and thinking how nice they looked and I started to laugh a bit. T was like, what? So, I told her that we had talked about our T's ankles on the board. Seriously, I have issues! She seemed amused and fortunately not creeped out, but then I don't recall telling her that I admire her ankles.
Anyway, funny story...today in T the ankle thing sort of came up. T was trying to get the feeling back in her feet and I was sitting there and suddenly realized that I was staring at her feet and ankles and thinking how nice they looked and I started to laugh a bit. T was like, what? So, I told her that we had talked about our T's ankles on the board. Seriously, I have issues!
She seemed amused and fortunately not creeped out, but then I don't recall telling her that I admire her ankles.
Last!! 
Just thought I'd nick that honour from you there STRM, seeing as you don't want it!
Love that you told your T about the ankle thing. I don't like my ankles either, I have 'cankles'!
Manatee is tall and dresses in shirts and suit jackets. Unfortunately he's a bit dishy.
J
Just thought I'd nick that honour from you there STRM, seeing as you don't want it!
Love that you told your T about the ankle thing.
I don't like my ankles either, I have 'cankles'!Manatee is tall and dresses in shirts and suit jackets. Unfortunately he's a bit dishy.
J
Okay, I'll go again. Seeing as how I can't really seem to post about much of anything anymore. This subject is light enough, I think I can handle it.
STRM: That is too funny that you mention you notice when you are the last poster. I thought only I did that. Whenever it does, I always think "did I kill it"?
I'm glad your T was amused about the ankle thing. Although I'm sorry to hear you feel so bad about your body, too. Sometimes I can almost imagine what it would be like not to care one way or the other...the freedom would feel SO good...just not sure how to get there.
Jones: "Cankles" ROFL!! Yes, I have cankles, too. Regarding Manatee, what does "dishy" mean? By the "unfortunately", I'm guessing it means he's hot.
SG
STRM: That is too funny that you mention you notice when you are the last poster. I thought only I did that. Whenever it does, I always think "did I kill it"?
I'm glad your T was amused about the ankle thing.
Although I'm sorry to hear you feel so bad about your body, too. Sometimes I can almost imagine what it would be like not to care one way or the other...the freedom would feel SO good...just not sure how to get there. Jones: "Cankles" ROFL!!
Yes, I have cankles, too. Regarding Manatee, what does "dishy" mean? By the "unfortunately", I'm guessing it means he's hot. SG
((((SG))))
It's so nice to hear from you again, you have been missed. That said, i am sorry you are having such a hard time that even posting is too much.
I was feeling like the most self-centred person in the world because i cannot think of a single thing my T wears but then i realised i am just so not a clothes person.
All i can tell you about is how his shoulder lifts when he shrugs, the crinkle in his cheek when he smiles, the raised eyebrow when i have exaggerated something wildly, the way he tilts his head when i have confused both of us and he is trying to unravel reality to help me, best i stop now...!
Pan
It's so nice to hear from you again, you have been missed. That said, i am sorry you are having such a hard time that even posting is too much.
I was feeling like the most self-centred person in the world because i cannot think of a single thing my T wears but then i realised i am just so not a clothes person.
All i can tell you about is how his shoulder lifts when he shrugs, the crinkle in his cheek when he smiles, the raised eyebrow when i have exaggerated something wildly, the way he tilts his head when i have confused both of us and he is trying to unravel reality to help me, best i stop now...!
Pan
Oh gosh, look at all of you trying to steal the last post from me! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has thought about that at times.
SG, good to see you posting. Sometimes we all need light topics!
Jones:Cankles, lol. That is funny! The thing I hate about my calves and ankles is that they are always larger than they should be in proportion to the rest of me. I'm not large boned, but my calves are too large and so are my ankles. Even when I was a size 2 my ankles were always swollen and they still are. Not a size 2 anymore, but even now I'm not hugely overweight or anything and my ankles are always swollen. I think I just have poor circulation or something.
Add me to the list of not understanding what "dishy" means. I'm torn between thinking it means he's attractive vs him being a dork. lol
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has thought about that at times. SG, good to see you posting. Sometimes we all need light topics!
Jones:Cankles, lol. That is funny! The thing I hate about my calves and ankles is that they are always larger than they should be in proportion to the rest of me. I'm not large boned, but my calves are too large and so are my ankles. Even when I was a size 2 my ankles were always swollen and they still are. Not a size 2 anymore, but even now I'm not hugely overweight or anything and my ankles are always swollen. I think I just have poor circulation or something.
Add me to the list of not understanding what "dishy" means. I'm torn between thinking it means he's attractive vs him being a dork. lol
I always notice if I have the last post!
I actually like my feet and ankles... what I hate are my arms.. I always look at T's arms when he's wearing short sleeves.. and then I start thinking all these insane thoughts like "I bet his wife has perfect arms...."
I googled dishy and it said british slag for good looking
I actually like my feet and ankles... what I hate are my arms.. I always look at T's arms when he's wearing short sleeves.. and then I start thinking all these insane thoughts like "I bet his wife has perfect arms...."
I googled dishy and it said british slag for good looking
LOL... I knew what dishy meant but I was wondering if anyone else did!! Dishy=hot, good looking. Jones, if it helps any, my oldT was definitely NOT dishy and I was a puddle around him anyway, so not sure if dishy is good or bad anymore.
NewT is pleasant looking but I just don't have the same feelings for him. It's one of those mysterious reactions I have to people that cannot be explained. I like newT, he is smart and helpful and available and understanding but the same attachment is not there. Maybe I just cannot allow it to be because of the fear/pain that is in the way.
Arms... yeah arms... I loved oldTs arms... seemed to me to be the safest place in the world, in those arms. Sigh. And yes I can remember how his eyes would crinkle when he smiled at me and how he tilted his head when he was trying to get my attention and the way he would rest one leg across the other and stick his pen in his shoe LOL. I can clearly see him petting the dog or drinking his coffee or handing me the tissue box. Strange what gets imprinted into memory.
I have wide calves. Hate them because it's so difficult to buy high boots. I finally found a pair I could zipper smoothly and tuck my leggings into... first time in 25 years. I was a happy camper.
TN
NewT is pleasant looking but I just don't have the same feelings for him. It's one of those mysterious reactions I have to people that cannot be explained. I like newT, he is smart and helpful and available and understanding but the same attachment is not there. Maybe I just cannot allow it to be because of the fear/pain that is in the way.
Arms... yeah arms... I loved oldTs arms... seemed to me to be the safest place in the world, in those arms. Sigh. And yes I can remember how his eyes would crinkle when he smiled at me and how he tilted his head when he was trying to get my attention and the way he would rest one leg across the other and stick his pen in his shoe LOL. I can clearly see him petting the dog or drinking his coffee or handing me the tissue box. Strange what gets imprinted into memory.
I have wide calves. Hate them because it's so difficult to buy high boots. I finally found a pair I could zipper smoothly and tuck my leggings into... first time in 25 years. I was a happy camper.
TN
MH said
This is how I feel and it has been particularly noticeable on this thread that some members **refuse** to acknowledge anything I post while acknowledging any before and after posts If there's a reason for some to treat me as invisible I wish they would speak up and let me know why?? It's hard to feel this *seeming rejection* on such a forum 
Morgs
quote:I've totally wondered before "Did I kill the post?"
This is how I feel and it has been particularly noticeable on this thread that some members **refuse** to acknowledge anything I post while acknowledging any before and after posts
If there's a reason for some to treat me as invisible I wish they would speak up and let me know why?? It's hard to feel this *seeming rejection* on such a forum Morgs
Morgs, I just want to say that I can almost certainly say that it's not intentional at all. Although I know I feel the same - a lot - I try to convince myself that it's not intentional. I'm sorry you feel that way, but please know you are truly a valued member of this forum. Many hugs to you. ((((Morgs))))