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LG,
I'm really sorry that you are feeling so hurt by this and I can understand why. I agree with DF. I am guessing that T2 didn't mention it because she wanted to hear your side of the story without contaminating it with her opinion or the knowledge that T1 had given her side. Her looks of surprise etc. may very well have been genuine as you never know what she was told by T1. Maybe she was truly surprised by your reactions to what happened.
I really think that talking to T2 about this and explaining how you felt about her not disclosing that they had talked made you feel.
Keep us posted!
I'm really sorry that you are feeling so hurt by this and I can understand why. I agree with DF. I am guessing that T2 didn't mention it because she wanted to hear your side of the story without contaminating it with her opinion or the knowledge that T1 had given her side. Her looks of surprise etc. may very well have been genuine as you never know what she was told by T1. Maybe she was truly surprised by your reactions to what happened.
I really think that talking to T2 about this and explaining how you felt about her not disclosing that they had talked made you feel.
Keep us posted!
Hi LG
Can understand how you feel but really I agree with DF and STRM that T2 was only interested in your views/reactions and appears to have been "totally" surprised with what you've said!!!
If she had brought the call up the whole dynamic would have changed although she 'could' have mentioned it at the end!! I think you can trust her LG but do talk with her about it.
Morgs
Can understand how you feel but really I agree with DF and STRM that T2 was only interested in your views/reactions and appears to have been "totally" surprised with what you've said!!!
If she had brought the call up the whole dynamic would have changed although she 'could' have mentioned it at the end!! I think you can trust her LG but do talk with her about it.
Morgs
LG,
You do have every right to be angry and that is what I suggest you address with T2. She should hear your feelings on this for sure and I agree that after you explained she should have told you if you have an agreement that all communication is to be disclosed. I would feel manipulated as well and didn't mean to invalidate that in any way. My point was that she may have had reasons for handling it the way she did and I would want to explore that with her if I were in your shoes.
You do have every right to be angry and that is what I suggest you address with T2. She should hear your feelings on this for sure and I agree that after you explained she should have told you if you have an agreement that all communication is to be disclosed. I would feel manipulated as well and didn't mean to invalidate that in any way. My point was that she may have had reasons for handling it the way she did and I would want to explore that with her if I were in your shoes.
I know I am chiming in late, but I wanted to say while agree that she most likely wanted to hear your thoughts and feelings from you, I feel like not disclosing they had talked is really pretty shady and I would have a real problem with it. I wonder what the ethics are around it. Seems to me that this would fall under not telling the whole story, which most people consider lying. I would definitely feel angry, betrayed, manipulated.
I should add that I am maybe a bit well paranoid. My first thought when I read your post was "what are they hiding? What did they talk about?" So please consider that.....
In any case....I am sorry you're going through this and hope things feel better soon.
seablue
I should add that I am maybe a bit well paranoid. My first thought when I read your post was "what are they hiding? What did they talk about?" So please consider that.....
In any case....I am sorry you're going through this and hope things feel better soon.
seablue
I've been out all night, but wanted to lend my support as well, LG.
1. I totally would have felt manipulated as well and become paranoid if there were things said to make her want to hide it from me.
2. From an outside perspective, my immediate thought (before reading anyone else's posts), was that she wanted to get your side of the story without you feeling any inclination to filter. She should have said something afterward, though, absolutely!
1. I totally would have felt manipulated as well and become paranoid if there were things said to make her want to hide it from me.
2. From an outside perspective, my immediate thought (before reading anyone else's posts), was that she wanted to get your side of the story without you feeling any inclination to filter. She should have said something afterward, though, absolutely!
LG
gut reaction vs head reaction, believe me I'm an expert at stuffing both of them up! talk with T2 - she appears much more solid, even if she didn't mention the call! are they having a problem with each other? from what I know of life, 3-way relationships just don't seem to work!
Hmmmm!
gut reaction vs head reaction, believe me I'm an expert at stuffing both of them up! talk with T2 - she appears much more solid, even if she didn't mention the call! are they having a problem with each other? from what I know of life, 3-way relationships just don't seem to work!
Hmmmm!