Dragonfly
Nice thing to do not silly thing to do. We keep a nice card t sent last summer, also keep post it note with smiley face on it t drew for me, long time ago. Before T knew there was cp'sa and others I was writing single words down bout how I was feeling (not good words) and T then said she don't do this for people usually and handed me back a note with other words on it, that was opposite to words I give her, T words were like journey, spirit, alive. We likes our T's smiley face picture best

Now must get box too - we think its lovely thing for you to do and keep memories of your T in , maybe we lost cause too then if we keeps things too

Yup, me too Dragonfly,

Every scrap of paper, every post-it note, every text, every e-mail, the lot. Nothing from her office or drive though - yet!

Also have my prized possession - a signed copy of her book with a sweet message to me from her. Hard to keep that from W.

Might consider a lockable box - any ideas?

Let's be proud to be lost causes together

AV

not sure on wood, but as a certain little misses t badly when she not there and a slightly older one does too, who knows what they'd pick up given the chance...don't think T would let us have T Cat for our box tho

Yay AV you collect too

Hi Draggers... I don't have a box (but I should) yet I do save everything.

I have a LoT of stuff from oldT...some of it very sad stuff. But I have saved every scrap of paper he wrote on (including a few quotes he wrote down for me and a hang-man word game we played once). I also have articles he gave me, every email, the two letters he sent me in regular mail (that was sad) and some pictures and all my receipts with my name on them and my next appointments. The most special thing I have is a little stuffed dog he gave me as a transitional object. That still hurts to look at.

For my current T... I have his pen that he gave me, every business card he wrote with my appointment on it(now he only gives them to me when we have a vacation break but in the beginning when I didn't have a regular appointment I got one each time). He gave me his dragon but that was temporary and I gave it back to him... but I DID take a picture of it. I have two vm's and a letter he wrote to oldT on my behalf. No pictures which I would really love to have.

I think I need a box... or two ...

TN

Hi Draggers,

Yeah, the book is very special to me. I travelled half way across the country to pick it up - on Valentines day of all days. I muust love her mustn't I? Didn't want to risk it getting lost in the post.

How sad am I eh?

I don't have a box, but I do save everything too. I have all my appointment cards, though I don't get them anymore. I printed out a couple of emails, and have the rest just saved on my computer. I also keep any papers my T writes on and gives me. My favourite thing is one of my journals. T wrote a letter to me in it before we had a long break last summer.

I did once have a box just like that for a past attachment figure and I saved the silliest things! She wasn't my T though.

I don't have many physical objects from her, because she hasn't given me anything. Just a single business card. But I've kept every email and voicemail. I listen to the latter often, just to hear her voice. I've actually not picked up the phone on purpose when she was calling, so that I would have a VM from her

I don't have a box but I have kept every business card she's written on, and she just recently left me a voicemail which I listen to constantly just to hear her voice and reassurance! Glad I'm not the only one who can't bring myself to throw away paper business cards

I don't have a box, but if I had anything to put in it, I sure would. T doesn't do appointment cards. I did save one tiny note he wrote to a little for later once when she got scared and went away abruptly. I keep it in my therapy backpack. The only things T has given me have been food to celebrate anniversaries/birthdays, so it would have been kind of yucky to keep something with frosting stuck to it. I wish T would give me stuff to keep. I brought up a transitional object for one part months ago and he thought it was a good idea, but kept asking me what it should be and I was like, "The point is for you to pick something for her...that's what gives it meaning." I'm not going to go around his office asking to poach stuff from him.

Sorry if anyone read my post before I edited it, I think it contained too much information that would probably be hurtful.

~*~*~*~*

Sometimes I want to put my T in a box and ship it far, far, far away... does that count?

I wish I was as thoughtful and sweet as you guys. I receive a lot, and a lot of precious stuff from my Ts than I could ever deserve. I do keep some things, and others I can't. The things I do have are just sorta 'where they are' for when I need them (purse, shelf, desk, etc). I have good object consistency (I think?) but a very difficult time feeling safe with love in any form.

Almost anything they give me I can never listen/read them again. They are deeply important to me but reviewing them causes me intense shame. The things they do bring me to tears and I wish I honored them the way I hear here (in a box, or reviewed them over and over). I don't write very often about the things I receive, the things they say or do - because of the shame and because of my fear of hurting others. It's shameful, but I am so blessed to have them.

I do cherish everything and I am very sensitive... it hits me at my core then it's just too overwhelming to come back to even if I do save them. A box might help me feel better - I don't know when I'd open it though! In time..

Good topic, Miss Draggers.

(((DRAGGERS)))

I think it's so sweet that you have a therapy box. And I love the things that others have saved as well. All very touching and sentimental. Warmed my heart today.

Liese

I think it is lovely that you have all those things. I have 2 pieces of paper she wrote on and her business card but thats it. I wish I had more, just like in some ways I wish I had kept a diary growing up, but I never did because as much as I love writing I was too scared someone would find it and read it. You probably had a diary growing up right?

(((Draggers)))

Count me in the keepsake club, although I don't have a box. I have every voicemail my T has ever left me (most are about appts, but I have one really awkward message from him when I asked him to leave one so I could listen to it when I wanted to hear his voice. Cracks me up every time. He sounds so uncomfortable but forged ahead which was really very sweet). He gives me his business card with my next appt on it at the end of every session, so I have his cards scattered around my life, on my desk, in my purse, I use them for bookmarks. As a matter of fact, TN actually had one of my Ts cards at one time because I sent her a book and had left it in it.

Before I traded my T for my blanket, I had asked to borrow it and he left it outside his office on a shelf for me to pick up and left a small sheet of paper on it with my first name handwritten on it. That is tucked safely in my journal. And speaking of the blanket, I keep it handy in the house, it often accompanies me to sessions, and I even take it on trips sometimes. (My family once threw it over a luggage rack and put little plastic eyes on it as a joke. We actually call the blanket the first name of my T. ). And last, but not least, I had asked him for a handwritten note when I "left" and that sits on my nightstand next to my bed, also tucked in my journal. I've read it so many times, I've got it memorized but I still take it out to look at it. Poor thing is getting quite tattered. I like having tangible proof of our relationship handy.

I also love that when I walk into his office, my counted cross stitch is on his wall, my heart box is open on his table and sometimes if I'm really lucky, he's wearing a pair of socks I gave him.

Knowing that both of us have those things really does provide me with a sense of security. Really great thread, thank you.

AG

((((Draggers))) as far as kissing a letter, been there, done that, more times than I am willing to admit in public. You are NOT alone my dear.

(((Draggers))))

I hate to ruin this: but there is a flaw in your reasoning in that you are assuming I am sane.

I don't have anything from T. I used to keep bday cards, letters, and other things from over the years that she gave me over the past 20 years. But I mailed them all to her a few months ago. I don't ever see her since we just skype, so I don't think I'll ever have an appointment card or anything to keep from her unless she were to mail me something.

I have a couple of handwritten lists from my T that sit in my therapy journal. One outlines our rules for therapy and my favourites are number 3: [landa] can't get therapy wrong; followed by 4: [T] may sometimes need to re-evaluate how he's doing. There's just something about having those in writing - his writing - that makes me smile. Even when i struggle to believe them.

But the T-thing I love the most is a small piece of paper on which he wrote the three grounding techniques that work best for me when I've had a flashback/body memory. I photocopied that little piece of paper about a billion times and have put the copies all round my house, in my journal, in my wallet, in my backpack, etcetera. The original sits on the table I sit at every day so I can look at it all the time. It helps so much.

One time I asked T if he could see his way clear to tell me that I am doing a good job or something sometime. He started rattling off all these complimentary and genuine and thoughtful things the minute I asked. My mouth fell open and I started panicking that I wouldn't be able to remember anything that he said. He said he would remember and tell me again if I wanted. Then he offered to write it down for me. Next session he gave me a card with his name printed at the top and a handwritten paragraph of the stuff he had said. The handwriting was tiny and hard to read, so I translated it into a word document and printed it out. The original lives in my desk drawer. Copies live in my wallet and as a bookmark.

Gee, I just realized how big this is. I feel bad for criticizing him a lot now.

Wait, on the other hand I wrote him a list of all the ways he helped my life get better through therapy. I'm SURE he keeps that in his wallet, too! Ha ha. LOL

PS ((((DRAGGERS))))