Perhaps it is self love that has been hidden from you Monte.

Monte thanks for sharing such an insightful and heartfelt post.
I think your T might be on to something here.
What would it mean if he and other special people in your life DO already love you?
Personally I've found that starting to entertain and encounter this possibility has triggered more grief, fear and pain. I think when we can truly acknowledge at a deep level what we have now we are more able to clearly see what was missing in our past and what we needed and deserved as children xx

Monte... so sorry I missed your post . I hope you will keep trying.

Hugs
TN