Hi Hollow...if I may, I think you may have rec'd a few VERY wrong messages when you were extremely young. You don't necessarily have to remember them and they may not even have been "sent" to you verbally. By that I mean, you may have been on the receiving end of certain looks from primary caregivers as well as the recipient of unsolicited (and unloving) actions from the same person/persons. I'm finding out those types of communication do so much more harm than actual words. Combine all three of them together and you have a pretty strong formula for sh*tty feelings now that are hard to recognize, let alone combat as an adult.

The good thing is YOU didn't do anything to deserve it, no matter what you may think now. Unfortunately, it's that faulty wiring in the brain you need to change. No small feat, I know.

I just wanted to say I hear you and I understand.

The Kid

(((hollow))))


I wonder where that feeling is coming from. i think you're great!!!!

(((Hollow))) this is a feeling I have felt (and still feel) and... I know how much it hurts and feel annihilating, so just... I am reading you. And you are important. The feelings are lying. You deserve attention and care.

(((Hollow)))

I am so sorry you are struggling with those feelings I know they can be so intense and overwhelming!! You are definitely not alone in battling these thoughts and emotions, and so many here can powerfully relate to how much it can hurt.

TK worded it very well about how they originate, and really change how you view yourself and your world. You are very insightful to recognize them as coming from childhood experiences.

I don't know if this may fit for your experiences, but one thing I've learned in battling these feelings so often is that as a child, I had no choice but to view my caregivers as always being right. That's how children survive, they HAVE to believe that those in charge are good. When those people turn out to be harmful, the only thing that makes sense in a child's mind is to internalize the idea that it must be their fault, and they must be awful and unloveable.

As intense as it feels, just remember that you are important and valuable. It is a very tough process in learning to believe positive things about yourself, but know that you aren't alone and you can learn to see the worth that you have.

I suggest bringing these thoughts to your T when you feel comfortable and asking him to help you work through them and understand them. It is difficult but so worth it. Hang in there

AH

Hollow, I am seeking therapists because I have strong feelings of those myself. I don't know how old you are but I have been having those feelings most of my adult life and now it's so hard for me to bear that it made me find therapists. I believe the problem is we have this inherent beliefs that we are not worthy if our parents do not value us. It's embedded in us since our childhoods. It may be a hard and long journey, but I believe you have hope. HOpe is what keeps me going still.