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Hm, ultraviolet, I don't know if some Ts discourage it or not, didn't actually read about it. I also didn't know (wouldn't know probably) that I was like a child if my T would not tell me. He definitely didn't discourage it. He would say "I see a very small child now". My feelings were feelings of a small child. Later on when things started to change and I didn't feel like a child as much I also missed it. I told him that I don't want to grow up yet. He replied something that I can be here whatever I want, I can be adult, I can be a child sometimes. Every now and again I would be like a child again. So it may be still with you too, whenever you feel like being a child.
Hi UV (the Grown-Up 
),
I did a quick search to see what I could find about "regression in therapy"...but all I got was stuff about using hypnosis to uncover past memories, events, and in some cases, past lives.
This practice is kind of controversial, and so I suppose it would have a bad rap with lots of T's...but I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant anyway.
My T is psychodynamic, but she has never used the word regression. Just like Amazon's T, she has told me at certain times that I look like a little girl. But I don't know if it's true "regression" in the same sense that you are referring to it. Anyway, there are two instances when she says this. One is when I am feeling sad or hurt or frustrated about what happened with the ex-T or the ex-BF. As I am telling about whatever it was, she has said I look like a little girl looking for her father, wondering where he is. The other time is when she has made a comment or an observation of some kind, when I respond, I look like a little girl who thinks she is going to get in trouble, and is trying to figure out the "right answer".
Like Amazon said, I would not have been aware of becoming more "child-like" at these times unless my T had pointed it out. And I am always surprised when she makes this observation. And now that I think about it, I am also strangely pleased, but not sure why...maybe because it feels good for that little girl to be seen, and her saying she sees her feels like an invitation for her to stay, like the little girl part of me is okay, and has permission to be, instead of having to pretend to be a grown-up, emotionally speaking. Like my T is the adult and it is safe to have child feelings...I feel held when she does this. Cared for.
And I suppose that feels good because growing up I always felt like I was already grown up. I don't ever remember feeling like a child, or how I imagine a child is supposed to feel. Like it was always up to me to take care of myself...even when what was going on wasn't "bad" I just assumed this.
I don't know if that helps, but that is what I thought of in response to your question.
SG
), I did a quick search to see what I could find about "regression in therapy"...but all I got was stuff about using hypnosis to uncover past memories, events, and in some cases, past lives.
This practice is kind of controversial, and so I suppose it would have a bad rap with lots of T's...but I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant anyway.My T is psychodynamic, but she has never used the word regression. Just like Amazon's T, she has told me at certain times that I look like a little girl. But I don't know if it's true "regression" in the same sense that you are referring to it. Anyway, there are two instances when she says this. One is when I am feeling sad or hurt or frustrated about what happened with the ex-T or the ex-BF. As I am telling about whatever it was, she has said I look like a little girl looking for her father, wondering where he is. The other time is when she has made a comment or an observation of some kind, when I respond, I look like a little girl who thinks she is going to get in trouble, and is trying to figure out the "right answer".
Like Amazon said, I would not have been aware of becoming more "child-like" at these times unless my T had pointed it out. And I am always surprised when she makes this observation. And now that I think about it, I am also strangely pleased, but not sure why...maybe because it feels good for that little girl to be seen, and her saying she sees her feels like an invitation for her to stay, like the little girl part of me is okay, and has permission to be, instead of having to pretend to be a grown-up, emotionally speaking. Like my T is the adult and it is safe to have child feelings...I feel held when she does this. Cared for.
And I suppose that feels good because growing up I always felt like I was already grown up. I don't ever remember feeling like a child, or how I imagine a child is supposed to feel. Like it was always up to me to take care of myself...even when what was going on wasn't "bad" I just assumed this.
I don't know if that helps, but that is what I thought of in response to your question.
SG
Hi Ultraviolet & All,
I really don’t know that much about regression... but I think I’ll just share my experience.
The childlike state that I revert to is basically a state of being rude (lol). When I’m in my childlike state, I mimic everything that he says in a rude voice, cut him off midsentence, tell him he’s a f****** a******, threaten to throw anything in sight at him. I will only talk about things that are “on the surface”. Then at the end of the session I beg and plead with him not to leave me. I do everything possible to extend the session, but then when he says I absolutely must leave, I storm out then tell him I'm never coming back.
I definitely wouldn’t say that my T discourages this behavior at all. He’s always curious about it and always wonders where it came from. Similar to Strummergirl and Amazon, I also wouldn’t be aware of this behavior unless my T pointed it out.
The most recent time that I went back to this state was about a month ago. In the middle of our session my T asked if we could talk a little about one of my family members, and right then I pretty much shut down and started doing everything that I described above. Before he brought up my family member I was relaxed and talking openly. I spent the rest of the session calling him every bad name in the book, and refusing to talk about anything below the surface. The next day I called him and we talked all about it, and I felt much better. I realized that when I was in that state I felt so incredibly needy and desperate. I wanted someone to love me but I pushed away everyone in sight by being rude, but then when they left I begged them to stay and love me. I realized that it’s pretty horrible to feel like a helpless little childhood, and that I sincerely want to be a mature person- the person I’m working towards becoming. (Now even though I realized it doesn't feel good to be a child, I wouldn’t be surprised if I return to this state many more times)
I don’t know if this is what you mean by you “sorta miss it sometimes”, but here’s why I miss it. On the surface it’s so much easier to be the person I was at the beginning of therapy. I acted like I didn’t give a s*** about anything, I was totally carefree and lived for going out with my friends and having fun. But underneath it all I was extremely depressed and very damaged. Sometimes it’s very appealing to just back to being young and seemingly carefree, but now I can say that I feel like I am truly moving towards being a genuinely happy, mature person- and that’s so much better.
I hope this somewhat answers your question…
MacLove
I really don’t know that much about regression... but I think I’ll just share my experience.
The childlike state that I revert to is basically a state of being rude (lol). When I’m in my childlike state, I mimic everything that he says in a rude voice, cut him off midsentence, tell him he’s a f****** a******, threaten to throw anything in sight at him. I will only talk about things that are “on the surface”. Then at the end of the session I beg and plead with him not to leave me. I do everything possible to extend the session, but then when he says I absolutely must leave, I storm out then tell him I'm never coming back.
I definitely wouldn’t say that my T discourages this behavior at all. He’s always curious about it and always wonders where it came from. Similar to Strummergirl and Amazon, I also wouldn’t be aware of this behavior unless my T pointed it out.
The most recent time that I went back to this state was about a month ago. In the middle of our session my T asked if we could talk a little about one of my family members, and right then I pretty much shut down and started doing everything that I described above. Before he brought up my family member I was relaxed and talking openly. I spent the rest of the session calling him every bad name in the book, and refusing to talk about anything below the surface. The next day I called him and we talked all about it, and I felt much better. I realized that when I was in that state I felt so incredibly needy and desperate. I wanted someone to love me but I pushed away everyone in sight by being rude, but then when they left I begged them to stay and love me. I realized that it’s pretty horrible to feel like a helpless little childhood, and that I sincerely want to be a mature person- the person I’m working towards becoming. (Now even though I realized it doesn't feel good to be a child, I wouldn’t be surprised if I return to this state many more times)
I don’t know if this is what you mean by you “sorta miss it sometimes”, but here’s why I miss it. On the surface it’s so much easier to be the person I was at the beginning of therapy. I acted like I didn’t give a s*** about anything, I was totally carefree and lived for going out with my friends and having fun. But underneath it all I was extremely depressed and very damaged. Sometimes it’s very appealing to just back to being young and seemingly carefree, but now I can say that I feel like I am truly moving towards being a genuinely happy, mature person- and that’s so much better.
I hope this somewhat answers your question…
MacLove
I've never really thought about naming what's happened to me - it's only recently I've talked a bit more about it to my T and noticed how this happens to me. It seems to be when I am talking about the most painful or the most difficult memories, not necessarily any memeories from a very young age. I can feel myself as being very young, I know what's going on, what T says etc, but then can't always understand how to do what she says, if that makes any sense. I have a feeling that the world is enormous and dangerous and I just need to stay very still and very quiet to keep safe. My T says I talk and behave very young - that's exactly how it feels. Afterwards, I always feel really spacd out and tired. It's quite unnnerving, but easier now we're talking about it more.
starfish
starfish
quote:Your commitment shines through your posts--I wanted you to know that--and thanks for writing me.
Awww thanks... I'm telling me T this!
Hmmm...interesting thread. I don't really know still, what is regression. I know I feel like I am little kid when I talk to my T lots of times. When I don't feel like little kid, sessions do not go well- at all.
That's all I know...
BB
That's all I know...
BB
UV
I think it's a bit of both, when I feel confused in sessions it's rarely because I'm not understanding in the present as it were..I feel confused because I've normally had a memory and either a flashback and dissociated; dissocaited straight off; or just went back to feling small. Then I feel in 'fuzzy land'...can hear everything going on, what T is saying etc, but don't understand its relevance to me somehow. So simple tasks become almost impossible, like I am being asked to perform some extreme mental arithmetic task in another language whilst standing on my head! I understand what's being asked of me but have no idea how to go about doing it. Oh and it doesn't have to be anything difficult...'what's the weather like?' would feel qiute impossible to answer
Now I just sit tight and wait for it to pass, which it always does..T does all sorts of grounding with me, but time seems to be the best grounder for me.
Usually I have no words either, so even if I did want to reply I can't. When it first happened in T, it used to really freak me..now I have got more used to it, but I still hate it when it happens. I am really quite a together person (or so I like to think!), so this is a reminder that perhaps I'm not as ok as I like to believe!!
Oooo fortunately that's never happened but really can see how that, or similar, just might. My feelings of being very young are so real. Has anybody had any physical stuff happened to them? I agree UV, it is really interesting and learning more about it helps to make it less scary too.
starfish
quote:Then I'd say-but confusion isn't a feeling, is it? It's a thought? I think that's where that left-right brain stuff might come in....(?)
I think it's a bit of both, when I feel confused in sessions it's rarely because I'm not understanding in the present as it were..I feel confused because I've normally had a memory and either a flashback and dissociated; dissocaited straight off; or just went back to feling small. Then I feel in 'fuzzy land'...can hear everything going on, what T is saying etc, but don't understand its relevance to me somehow. So simple tasks become almost impossible, like I am being asked to perform some extreme mental arithmetic task in another language whilst standing on my head! I understand what's being asked of me but have no idea how to go about doing it. Oh and it doesn't have to be anything difficult...'what's the weather like?' would feel qiute impossible to answer
Now I just sit tight and wait for it to pass, which it always does..T does all sorts of grounding with me, but time seems to be the best grounder for me. Usually I have no words either, so even if I did want to reply I can't. When it first happened in T, it used to really freak me..now I have got more used to it, but I still hate it when it happens. I am really quite a together person (or so I like to think!), so this is a reminder that perhaps I'm not as ok as I like to believe!!
quote:I've also read that regression points to another concept-regressing back to less mature behavior, such as a 10 year old wetting the bed again. As an adult, it could mean that your symptomology returns...
Oooo fortunately that's never happened
but really can see how that, or similar, just might. My feelings of being very young are so real. Has anybody had any physical stuff happened to them? I agree UV, it is really interesting and learning more about it helps to make it less scary too.starfish
DF
I am sorry that happened to you (((DF))) I can imagine how it might occur though, as the feelings of being very young are so overwheming and real, and if you're adding terror into the equation too, well then it's perfectly understandable. But I can imagine how hard that would have been for you. Many adults in terror-filled situations do likewise, without even regression playing its part.
Well that makes me even more glad that you have Faith, from what you have ever posted about her I would imagine she was totally supportive and caring, however embarrassed you were. Thank you for sharing this DF, you are one very brave DF you know....it just shows how powerful these awful memories are doesn't it?
starfish
I am sorry that happened to you (((DF))) I can imagine how it might occur though, as the feelings of being very young are so overwheming and real, and if you're adding terror into the equation too, well then it's perfectly understandable. But I can imagine how hard that would have been for you. Many adults in terror-filled situations do likewise, without even regression playing its part.
Well that makes me even more glad that you have Faith, from what you have ever posted about her I would imagine she was totally supportive and caring, however embarrassed you were. Thank you for sharing this DF, you are one very brave DF you know....it just shows how powerful these awful memories are doesn't it?
starfish