x
Original Post
Replies sorted oldest to newest
Hi deepfried,
(nice to "meet" you!)I`m glad you ceep posting
Sorry to hear about your first T. What a...disaster of a T. But glad to read the rest of your post: I just wanna answer your question from my gut(?) here: - YES!!
You should definitly just welcome this new feeling of attatchment and connection!!
And yes, I would also encourage(?) you to tell your T. Its a great thing, and your T propably (should) be glad to hear, and also be glad that you feel safe enough to tell and let her know. Maybe- as you say- they pick it up, but therapy is also about learning to "put it in words".
I dont mean to be bastant on you, because I do understand (i was horrified myself when I felt the attachment and overwhelmed by the new emotions) your concerns and worries about this sudden and new feeling- it must be scary- but, hey- tell your T that as well!? The conection gets stronger everytime we let ourselfs express feelings.. (It might be embarrasing and hard, but still..the attatchment gets stronger, so dont worry that it will all go away "blowing in the wind"..
I think its also normal that the connection feels stronger as the seperation comes up. Before my T leaves for vacations i also have extra strong "needy" feelings of attachment with him. And a bunch of seperation anxiety...
I wonder why you said that you dont can feel emotional connected with your T now? Because its vacation? It seem to me (and you as well) that your allready ARE. AND THAT IS A GOOD THERAPY- (and life) GOAL MY DEAR!
hang in there, dont get lost in your confutions. Let your self trust, grasp and welcome all this feelings, (throw away the bad once though) and be a friend to yourself and let your T knows whats going on..
Good luck! (if i am totally off the track here, just look away from all this!)
- Frog
(nice to "meet" you!)I`m glad you ceep posting
Sorry to hear about your first T. What a...disaster of a T. But glad to read the rest of your post: I just wanna answer your question from my gut(?) here: - YES!!
You should definitly just welcome this new feeling of attatchment and connection!!
And yes, I would also encourage(?) you to tell your T. Its a great thing, and your T propably (should) be glad to hear, and also be glad that you feel safe enough to tell and let her know. Maybe- as you say- they pick it up, but therapy is also about learning to "put it in words".
I dont mean to be bastant on you, because I do understand (i was horrified myself when I felt the attachment and overwhelmed by the new emotions) your concerns and worries about this sudden and new feeling- it must be scary- but, hey- tell your T that as well!? The conection gets stronger everytime we let ourselfs express feelings.. (It might be embarrasing and hard, but still..the attatchment gets stronger, so dont worry that it will all go away "blowing in the wind"..
I think its also normal that the connection feels stronger as the seperation comes up. Before my T leaves for vacations i also have extra strong "needy" feelings of attachment with him. And a bunch of seperation anxiety...
I wonder why you said that you dont can feel emotional connected with your T now? Because its vacation? It seem to me (and you as well) that your allready ARE. AND THAT IS A GOOD THERAPY- (and life) GOAL MY DEAR!
hang in there, dont get lost in your confutions. Let your self trust, grasp and welcome all this feelings, (throw away the bad once though) and be a friend to yourself and let your T knows whats going on..
Good luck! (if i am totally off the track here, just look away from all this!)
- Frog
DEEPFRIED
It`s a big and important question: "is the point of therapy to feel an attachment"? I honestly cant answer that in another way that out of my own experience, and that is a yes. BUT: it`s maybe not the attachment itself, it`s just that when you feel good- Attached (and truly trust your T) the basis of the healing can finally begin. First step: building a safe connection,(your T`s job really) then healing. This is my simple way of putting this in (english- not my language) words..
qote:
"It's probably me (actually it IS me!!) Lol
Let us know- if you want to- how it all went in your session. whatever- Good luck with your process.
It`s a big and important question: "is the point of therapy to feel an attachment"? I honestly cant answer that in another way that out of my own experience, and that is a yes. BUT: it`s maybe not the attachment itself, it`s just that when you feel good- Attached (and truly trust your T) the basis of the healing can finally begin. First step: building a safe connection,(your T`s job really) then healing. This is my simple way of putting this in (english- not my language) words..
qote:
"It's probably me (actually it IS me!!) Lol
Let us know- if you want to- how it all went in your session. whatever- Good luck with your process.
quote:Originally posted by Deepfried:
I'm scared my T isn't connected to me, or won't connect with me because it's taken me so long to connect.
I was worried about this too, since it took me about 7 months to connect. But I have to say that I don’t feel this way at all now. I know that my T understands the process of building a relationship, and he didn’t expect me to be connected to him until I was ready.
quote:I'm also worried if I tell her I feel connected now she will distance herself or I have no idea....
Personally I don’t think you have to come right out and tell her, unless you really want to of course! There are ways you can show her that you trust her and feel connected to her without actually telling her- for example being able to tell her things that you’ve never told anyone else is a sign of trust. I think my T could tell right when I started to trust him because the things that we talked about changed, and I started listening to him more, but I didn’t come out and say it till a few weeks later.
Mac