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that is plain weird, uv...a t wanting to in effect change your name for his convenience?
i am sorry if i am blunt, that is my mood as of late, and i can imagine how that hurts. i am not sure if i know all the thoughts on pi, but YOU were using it? sounds like HE was.
i dunno, nothing surprises me anymore in the t room, i guess i would say to not over-analyze this issue, but i would not change my name for his convenience, and i am aghast he would suggest that.
yep, i would feel a bit sensitive to all that talk about another client, don't they know we really don't want to hear about their other loves, esp. if there is a fondness that would make us feel competetive.
maybe chalk it up to a weird session, and move forward, if you can put it behind you, as y'all seem to be working so well together.
odd deal for sure. jill
i am sorry if i am blunt, that is my mood as of late, and i can imagine how that hurts. i am not sure if i know all the thoughts on pi, but YOU were using it? sounds like HE was.
i dunno, nothing surprises me anymore in the t room, i guess i would say to not over-analyze this issue, but i would not change my name for his convenience, and i am aghast he would suggest that.
yep, i would feel a bit sensitive to all that talk about another client, don't they know we really don't want to hear about their other loves, esp. if there is a fondness that would make us feel competetive.
maybe chalk it up to a weird session, and move forward, if you can put it behind you, as y'all seem to be working so well together.
odd deal for sure. jill
that whole termination talk just makes my skin crawl. t3 just bragged and bragged about how she wasn't 'one of those' but bang, tell her something she didn't wnat to admit, and bang, your gone.
i don't think i will ever be able to confront a t again if there is something i don't like. i'll try to 'bend' the conversation away, but confront?? too deadly for this girl.
uv, too, you are just so dad gum smart about all this therapy stuff, i am sure you intimidate him somewhat, or at least, keep him on his toes.
but i am learning stuff, funny, this whole dbt concept of emotional mind/rational mind/wise mind/ are nothing new, same as freud's id/super ego/ ego...just different terms...which is fine, as, at least for me, i identify with those terms...my ego, or wise mind is so squashed with the kid and the 'bitch' of a super ego/rational mind...that its all the same to me.
i ramble, but, hang in there. six sessions is a bit much to talk about her, geez, enough. i would tell him, enough about her, big guy! (if only i could pull that off!!)
jill
i don't think i will ever be able to confront a t again if there is something i don't like. i'll try to 'bend' the conversation away, but confront?? too deadly for this girl.
uv, too, you are just so dad gum smart about all this therapy stuff, i am sure you intimidate him somewhat, or at least, keep him on his toes.
but i am learning stuff, funny, this whole dbt concept of emotional mind/rational mind/wise mind/ are nothing new, same as freud's id/super ego/ ego...just different terms...which is fine, as, at least for me, i identify with those terms...my ego, or wise mind is so squashed with the kid and the 'bitch' of a super ego/rational mind...that its all the same to me.
i ramble, but, hang in there. six sessions is a bit much to talk about her, geez, enough. i would tell him, enough about her, big guy! (if only i could pull that off!!)
jill
quote:Originally posted by ultraviolet:
so i texted him " <3 Dr. T <3 I miss you...I hope you have found a replacement patient who adores you as much as i did...Love, Tina ooxxxoo"
Way to go, UV. I hope he gets the point!!!
I agree with BG. No you are not overreacting and yes this is a good opportunity for repair and to make some real progress if it is handled correctly. BG is right, it's not about an excuse that will make it go away. This seems like it is going to be more about him being human and him helping to repair the trust by being totally honest this time.
UV,
Yes, this does seem different in that it was an outright lie. I too would have a really hard time getting past that. However, I think that whatever happens that it is important to sit down with him and make the effort to see if it can be worked out. It may be in the end (I hope not) that you can't get past it, but I think it is important for your healing to give it a try even if the repair can't be made.
I'm sorry this hurts so much.
Yes, this does seem different in that it was an outright lie. I too would have a really hard time getting past that. However, I think that whatever happens that it is important to sit down with him and make the effort to see if it can be worked out. It may be in the end (I hope not) that you can't get past it, but I think it is important for your healing to give it a try even if the repair can't be made.
I'm sorry this hurts so much.
Hi UV I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with such a major issue in your therapy - yes, outright lying like that is ground shifting stuff and I get how you’d be sitting there wondering what else he’s not being honest about. That kind of doubt really is poison in a relationship.
I think it’s doubly negative in that he seems to be explaining these things in the context of his relationship with another patient - I wonder why he is finding it necessary to constantly tell you about this other person? Is it useful or helpful to you? To me it seems odd - that he is telling you how he feels about someone else, that he is telling you how he feels, and in this case how he felt specifically negatively about you, sounds to me like he is disclosing way too much.
I agree with BG and STRM that it’s important you really talk openly about this and how it’s affecting you. I know that amongst other things to be told that T was scared I’d be calling him too much would feel like a real slap in the face, as well as make me wonder just how strong and reliable he is emotionally. Would make me think that he is too insecure to cope with a lot of things and I’d be forever doubting in the future just how much of what he says is covering for his own fears and doubts.
I really hope you can talk about this and that his responses are good enough for you to regain trust in him. It may take a while to get to that point, but your descriptions of how well you and T get on and how good the therapy has been for you makes me think that this can be worked through to a better understanding and closeness between you.
(((( UV ))))
LL
I think it’s doubly negative in that he seems to be explaining these things in the context of his relationship with another patient - I wonder why he is finding it necessary to constantly tell you about this other person? Is it useful or helpful to you? To me it seems odd - that he is telling you how he feels about someone else, that he is telling you how he feels, and in this case how he felt specifically negatively about you, sounds to me like he is disclosing way too much.
I agree with BG and STRM that it’s important you really talk openly about this and how it’s affecting you. I know that amongst other things to be told that T was scared I’d be calling him too much would feel like a real slap in the face, as well as make me wonder just how strong and reliable he is emotionally. Would make me think that he is too insecure to cope with a lot of things and I’d be forever doubting in the future just how much of what he says is covering for his own fears and doubts.
I really hope you can talk about this and that his responses are good enough for you to regain trust in him. It may take a while to get to that point, but your descriptions of how well you and T get on and how good the therapy has been for you makes me think that this can be worked through to a better understanding and closeness between you.
(((( UV ))))
LL
UV,
This sounds awful and I am really sorry that you are having to experience it. I can't believe he asked to call you by your full name for his convenience.
It takes so much for clients to build up a trusting r/ship with T's and yet so little for this fragile trust to be damaged. I agree with others here that you need to talk to your T about this.
A lie with someone you trust and care about can be hard to come back from and it is no wonder that you are feeling like a "vulnerable scared child" but maybe this trust and relationship can be rebuilt over time.
(((UV)))
Butterfly
This sounds awful and I am really sorry that you are having to experience it. I can't believe he asked to call you by your full name for his convenience.
It takes so much for clients to build up a trusting r/ship with T's and yet so little for this fragile trust to be damaged. I agree with others here that you need to talk to your T about this.
A lie with someone you trust and care about can be hard to come back from and it is no wonder that you are feeling like a "vulnerable scared child" but maybe this trust and relationship can be rebuilt over time.
(((UV)))
Butterfly
How awful, UV...I hope you are able to sort through it. I just wanted to offer my support.
((((UV))))
BB
((((UV))))
BB
REally sympathise. I feel uncomfortable reading about how he has been, I think he requires some very detailed supervision on this.
He has got a bit entangled in this last client and now he is muddling a bit with you, so yes, it would have me feeling very nervous too. i know they are just people, but they are people in a very delicate role in which they need to be very careful of what they say and do. And of course, our past stuff entangles with whatever they say and do too. So really hard.
I send sympathy and hope you can work it out. Keep strong and explain very matter of factly that his issues about this last client must not in any way be muddled up with you and could he be careful of his habit of confusing the two of you.
He has got a bit entangled in this last client and now he is muddling a bit with you, so yes, it would have me feeling very nervous too. i know they are just people, but they are people in a very delicate role in which they need to be very careful of what they say and do. And of course, our past stuff entangles with whatever they say and do too. So really hard.
I send sympathy and hope you can work it out. Keep strong and explain very matter of factly that his issues about this last client must not in any way be muddled up with you and could he be careful of his habit of confusing the two of you.
Ultraviolet- i am so glad to read youre past this now. I also wanted to let you know- i`ve read your poster about this- and really felt for you- as i`ve been dealing with *some* of the same issues, but i was to afraid to mis-lead you with my story, so i decided to not respond- but anyways..- Great to hear that your relation has grew stronger! It must be such a reliefe! You`ve really inspired me goin through this. I am very curious about how it all went out with such good resault..
ok- take care and well done ultraviolet!
Both of you i guess!
ok- take care and well done ultraviolet!
Both of you i guess!
UV,
I am so glad to hear that you have worked things out and come out stronger for it. Good for you!
I am so glad to hear that you have worked things out and come out stronger for it. Good for you!
Dear Ultraviolet,
Thanks for sharing all this. Sure it was beautifully written, and i *think* i felt the tention in that session- just reading about it. The closeness and the intimacy you felt really sounds like a beautiful experience.
Thanks for asking me UV, i havent written about the stuff i mentioned, it its not related to the "core issue" thread (at least not directly)
I might "put my self to much in your shoes" because i share the idealization and putting my T on the pidestal as well, (have no plans takin him down from it either). My T would propably not sit beside me on the couch- (i never asked) he`s really strikt on the boundries, and i`ve never pushed against them.
THe story that came up to my mind, while starting to read this thread- is still something i find really hard to talk about. I havent dared to bring it up with my T yet, and i have therefore big issues about venting it here first..i dunno.. the main thing is that i know he "mixed" me with onother girl. He named me, by her name- (he doesent know i know who she was)
The first months in therapy, he twice wrote her name, as writing a textmessage to me. I just overlooked it back than, but gave it a thought because i started to wonder if it was a projective identification thing goin on.. Anyways, some sessions later he called me her name again. (very similar to mine btw) and i told him he had used the wrong name from the very beginning...
He got very surprised and apologized a lot for the mistake, and "blamed it" on a "Freudian slip". I knew what he ment (who he had mixed me up with) but he still doesnt know, i know.. Its hard to explain, without goin in details UV.
i guess i can write it, but please understand that i mught take this poster down, in order to protect my selv".
Ever sinse that day- i felt (meny different ways) that he has a counter-transeference to me- regard to his own sister. Its her`s name, he`s ben calling me. The very, very sad thing, is that i know (he doesnt know i know) she died and she was my T`s only little sister. She died and was about my age then.
And i have had SO meny thesis and theories about how i might have triggered this projective ID. and about me (unconsiously) developed a sibling-transeference with him... I really dont knnow what to think or whats a realistic option and what i only have "created" as a fantasy... i have no idea.
And what worries me so much, and causes so mush pain, is the fact that this i CANT bring up...its to painfull (for both of us) and if i mention it i have to admit and "confess" that i know about his sister- because i read his book!! (my T is also a writer, and have published a self-biography in which this info emerges)
NO WAY i can tell that. Its been 2 years soon, i`ve cept it as a secret to long, you know? I have no idea how that will inpact our relationship, and i am to scared to touch "his private" stuff, as i want to show him respect and carefulness about his private life..its just that i tend to think, that it does have an inpact in our relation...IF it actually is the case: That my T has a Projective ID thing going on..AND my attachment with him- is a respond to it..
ok..dont know if i made my self clear, this is really tentative stuff, and i might take it down soon. Uv- i am very thankful that you asked, and very glad that your previous session was so spescial to you. Both of you, i think.
Thanks for sharing all this. Sure it was beautifully written, and i *think* i felt the tention in that session- just reading about it. The closeness and the intimacy you felt really sounds like a beautiful experience.
Thanks for asking me UV, i havent written about the stuff i mentioned, it its not related to the "core issue" thread (at least not directly)
I might "put my self to much in your shoes" because i share the idealization and putting my T on the pidestal as well, (have no plans takin him down from it either). My T would propably not sit beside me on the couch- (i never asked) he`s really strikt on the boundries, and i`ve never pushed against them.
THe story that came up to my mind, while starting to read this thread- is still something i find really hard to talk about. I havent dared to bring it up with my T yet, and i have therefore big issues about venting it here first..i dunno.. the main thing is that i know he "mixed" me with onother girl. He named me, by her name- (he doesent know i know who she was)
The first months in therapy, he twice wrote her name, as writing a textmessage to me. I just overlooked it back than, but gave it a thought because i started to wonder if it was a projective identification thing goin on.. Anyways, some sessions later he called me her name again. (very similar to mine btw) and i told him he had used the wrong name from the very beginning...
He got very surprised and apologized a lot for the mistake, and "blamed it" on a "Freudian slip". I knew what he ment (who he had mixed me up with) but he still doesnt know, i know.. Its hard to explain, without goin in details UV.
i guess i can write it, but please understand that i mught take this poster down, in order to protect my selv".
Ever sinse that day- i felt (meny different ways) that he has a counter-transeference to me- regard to his own sister. Its her`s name, he`s ben calling me. The very, very sad thing, is that i know (he doesnt know i know) she died and she was my T`s only little sister. She died and was about my age then.
And i have had SO meny thesis and theories about how i might have triggered this projective ID. and about me (unconsiously) developed a sibling-transeference with him... I really dont knnow what to think or whats a realistic option and what i only have "created" as a fantasy... i have no idea.
And what worries me so much, and causes so mush pain, is the fact that this i CANT bring up...its to painfull (for both of us) and if i mention it i have to admit and "confess" that i know about his sister- because i read his book!! (my T is also a writer, and have published a self-biography in which this info emerges)
NO WAY i can tell that. Its been 2 years soon, i`ve cept it as a secret to long, you know? I have no idea how that will inpact our relationship, and i am to scared to touch "his private" stuff, as i want to show him respect and carefulness about his private life..its just that i tend to think, that it does have an inpact in our relation...IF it actually is the case: That my T has a Projective ID thing going on..AND my attachment with him- is a respond to it..
ok..dont know if i made my self clear, this is really tentative stuff, and i might take it down soon. Uv- i am very thankful that you asked, and very glad that your previous session was so spescial to you. Both of you, i think.
Oh Ultraviolet- i dont even know where to begin.. I am truly thankful for all the insight, interprets, thoughts, questions and widsom you offored me. I`ll think i have to re-read the poster even one more time. And thanks for being so direct with me on this. I needed that.
(i am handicapted with expressing myself in english- so bear over with me UV- meny things must seem odd, the way i write here, i guess
)
and btw: iàm glad i read (the qote) before you deleted it- i guess- often those things we wanto delte- are the parts that are most true in a way. And i truly believe you when sayin this experience was a genuin intimate moment, and dont worry it would be strange- i think its a great sign of progress- manage to take in all that warmtness and closness with you T. I relate to some similar experiences with my T- when i felt almost a "magical" intimacy..even without talking directly about sexual stuff. So- again: Thanks for sharing that spescial moment. Its inspiring and truly a "therapy gift" (to qote Yalom
Ok.. firstly: I think you hit the nail about me splitting. And i guess so, because reading your (very informative) description of it- created a tiny unpleseant feeling in me.. Lie you "scanned" me..? (your`re a shrink?) Something immidiatly resonated in me..i guess that means its something there..
Youre right (of course) about the book of his being public. I read it even BEFORE i started seing him (i was really interested in therapy and found this book on liabary) Its just that..i feel guilty for not telling him before- that i know SO MENY thins about him, that is revealed in that book... Liek iàm going behind his back.. And my T has this view of me- (he said this) of being honest, polite and trustful with him- so this just a big black mark on that "illution" of his.
I Do feel forced to bring this up- i have- sinse the very day i understood it *might* be attachment- relevant and in order to "break the ice"- on the other hand (my fears voice, i know) i have managed pretty well WITHOUT bringin it up.. I know i am irrational about this- and like you- i would adviced others to bring this up in therapy as well..thats how it works right?
THe fight within me- is like you implied- that i am splitting and therefore have major issues about being intrude on T, (and yeah- "be a burden, dont have needs= fear of destroying the good object". Yes UV - I RELATE!) and worst of all: Perhaps sitting there left with nothing but the humiliating feeling- that there is no such thing however like the PI playin out here.. THEN i would just be a fool.. like (this is how i think my T would react: "How does she dare to compare herself with my sister?")
Yeah..how do i? There is a part of me wondering if (correct me if i am *wrong* about this- i havent understood the whole IP- thing yet) i ACTUALLY WANT TO BE HIS SISTER! thats just qruel.. maybe i just yearn so much for my T`s attention that i *pretend* that i am her in a way? (identified my self with her, uncounciously?
Hm..sorry for just adding new questions.. I am really stribing to understand if my attachment with my T, and vica verca, are being influenced by this past tragedy of his sister. But bringin`it up is way beyond my guts and bravery at this point. Even though- i think i have started the "telling process" here allready, just sharing this with you for now...
for the reckord: I have only vague knowlidge about how my T is attaching to me- as he wont share meny thought about that subject with me at all. The only thing he has clearly said out loud are that he (dont know how to put it correct in enligsh) he compared the feelings a father/mother developes for their child- so; NO siblings-feelings, as far as i know.. If there are- he hides them- or controlls them very well and profesional..
ok- me rambling again. UV- again: Thanks so much for letting me share this. Its a burden liftet away from my shoulders in a way..yet scary- cause i *know* the time will come (wheter i hlike it or not) when this stuff must be talket about..and not here - but there, with T.
My next appt is Monday. I might follow my "pattern" an avoid all this, or gather som bravery and bring it up. I honestly dont know. Is it worth it.. yes. no. yes.no. yes?
When is your next appt? Do you look forwared to it? (i am askin because after such important and great session- me myself tend to not wanna *ruin* that feeling that the latest session created, you know?)
thanks again UV. I`let the poster "hang there" for some more time.
(i am handicapted with expressing myself in english- so bear over with me UV- meny things must seem odd, the way i write here, i guess
) and btw: iàm glad i read (the qote) before you deleted it- i guess- often those things we wanto delte- are the parts that are most true in a way. And i truly believe you when sayin this experience was a genuin intimate moment, and dont worry it would be strange- i think its a great sign of progress- manage to take in all that warmtness and closness with you T. I relate to some similar experiences with my T- when i felt almost a "magical" intimacy..even without talking directly about sexual stuff. So- again: Thanks for sharing that spescial moment. Its inspiring and truly a "therapy gift" (to qote Yalom
Ok.. firstly: I think you hit the nail about me splitting. And i guess so, because reading your (very informative) description of it- created a tiny unpleseant feeling in me.. Lie you "scanned" me..? (your`re a shrink?) Something immidiatly resonated in me..i guess that means its something there..
Youre right (of course) about the book of his being public. I read it even BEFORE i started seing him (i was really interested in therapy and found this book on liabary) Its just that..i feel guilty for not telling him before- that i know SO MENY thins about him, that is revealed in that book... Liek iàm going behind his back.. And my T has this view of me- (he said this) of being honest, polite and trustful with him- so this just a big black mark on that "illution" of his.
I Do feel forced to bring this up- i have- sinse the very day i understood it *might* be attachment- relevant and in order to "break the ice"- on the other hand (my fears voice, i know) i have managed pretty well WITHOUT bringin it up.. I know i am irrational about this- and like you- i would adviced others to bring this up in therapy as well..thats how it works right?
THe fight within me- is like you implied- that i am splitting and therefore have major issues about being intrude on T, (and yeah- "be a burden, dont have needs= fear of destroying the good object". Yes UV - I RELATE!) and worst of all: Perhaps sitting there left with nothing but the humiliating feeling- that there is no such thing however like the PI playin out here.. THEN i would just be a fool.. like (this is how i think my T would react: "How does she dare to compare herself with my sister?")
Yeah..how do i? There is a part of me wondering if (correct me if i am *wrong* about this- i havent understood the whole IP- thing yet) i ACTUALLY WANT TO BE HIS SISTER! thats just qruel.. maybe i just yearn so much for my T`s attention that i *pretend* that i am her in a way? (identified my self with her, uncounciously?
Hm..sorry for just adding new questions.. I am really stribing to understand if my attachment with my T, and vica verca, are being influenced by this past tragedy of his sister. But bringin`it up is way beyond my guts and bravery at this point. Even though- i think i have started the "telling process" here allready, just sharing this with you for now...
for the reckord: I have only vague knowlidge about how my T is attaching to me- as he wont share meny thought about that subject with me at all. The only thing he has clearly said out loud are that he (dont know how to put it correct in enligsh) he compared the feelings a father/mother developes for their child- so; NO siblings-feelings, as far as i know.. If there are- he hides them- or controlls them very well and profesional..
ok- me rambling again. UV- again: Thanks so much for letting me share this. Its a burden liftet away from my shoulders in a way..yet scary- cause i *know* the time will come (wheter i hlike it or not) when this stuff must be talket about..and not here - but there, with T.
My next appt is Monday. I might follow my "pattern" an avoid all this, or gather som bravery and bring it up. I honestly dont know. Is it worth it.. yes. no. yes.no. yes?
When is your next appt? Do you look forwared to it? (i am askin because after such important and great session- me myself tend to not wanna *ruin* that feeling that the latest session created, you know?)
thanks again UV. I`let the poster "hang there" for some more time.
UV and Frog, I’ve been reading your exchange with real interest. Didn’t have anything to say as what you’re both talking about is so alien and unknown to me (attachment) that I couldn’t think of anything useful to contribute at all. But hell, when has that ever stopped me chipping in with bucketloads of words
UV want to say that I read your post before you deleted some of the details - it profoundly moved me, I’m so glad you did post it because I learned a huge amount from your wonderful description (and I’m so very glad that you experienced it so beautifully). It’s the sort of thing that I cringe within myself even thinking about being in that position and it really helped to read how you dealt with it and how totally unselfconscious or down on yourself you were about it. Way to go!
And Frog thanks too for posting what the issue with your T is based on. I wanted to say, the whole thing with his published book - it IS in the public domain and I shouldn’t think it would be much of a surprise, or even bother him at all, to know that you had read it. UV’s suggestion that you simply mention you’ve read the book, as a kind of throw away comment, and see where that takes you, sounds good to me. No need to plunge into the possible CT stuff straight away is there?
And for what it’s worth, I SO get your sense of
That eternal fear, of making yourself out to have a much bigger emotional impact on T than in reality. But whether he really does see you that way or not - YOU are experiencing it, you are fearing it (and maybe wanting it too) so it is important. Also sounds like a fundamental dynamic in your relationship with him, so yeah, I hope you can bring yourself eventually to start talking to him about it. Keep telling yourself that it can only make the relationship deeper and more meaningful and bring you closer to being able to be more fully honest with him. (Uggh not that full honesty is any fun!)
Thanks both of you for a great thread.
LL
p.s. Frog, only one day to go!
UV want to say that I read your post before you deleted some of the details - it profoundly moved me, I’m so glad you did post it because I learned a huge amount from your wonderful description (and I’m so very glad that you experienced it so beautifully). It’s the sort of thing that I cringe within myself even thinking about being in that position and it really helped to read how you dealt with it and how totally unselfconscious or down on yourself you were about it. Way to go!
And Frog thanks too for posting what the issue with your T is based on. I wanted to say, the whole thing with his published book - it IS in the public domain and I shouldn’t think it would be much of a surprise, or even bother him at all, to know that you had read it. UV’s suggestion that you simply mention you’ve read the book, as a kind of throw away comment, and see where that takes you, sounds good to me. No need to plunge into the possible CT stuff straight away is there?
And for what it’s worth, I SO get your sense of
quote:"How does she dare to compare herself with my sister?")
That eternal fear, of making yourself out to have a much bigger emotional impact on T than in reality. But whether he really does see you that way or not - YOU are experiencing it, you are fearing it (and maybe wanting it too) so it is important. Also sounds like a fundamental dynamic in your relationship with him, so yeah, I hope you can bring yourself eventually to start talking to him about it. Keep telling yourself that it can only make the relationship deeper and more meaningful and bring you closer to being able to be more fully honest with him. (Uggh not that full honesty is any fun!)
Thanks both of you for a great thread.
LL
p.s. Frog, only one day to go!
My "Light of a lamp"
Seriously, lamplighter- i`am sitting here now wearing a smile because reading you`re reply made me suddently think something like "what the heck-i am doin it- `i`ll just throw the comment about the book, in there!" ..and see how it goes.. it IS a public book so i havent done anything wrong reading it-(as you both implied sp gently to this one!) i am only "guilty" of not telling him before i`ve read it! Tthere has ben numbers of times he said things to me- i have known from before, because its writtin in that *stupid*book of his that i have read obsessively over and over again!.. arrg..i am angry at the book.. *BLAME IT ON THE BOOK*
Just a "CORRECTION" to you LL: YOU DO have ATTACHMENT KNOWLIDGE! as, you seem to know (you just dont know yet) all this attachment astuff is pretty universal, and aint really so different in the therapeutic settin,(it just takes form as something very uniqe because of the spescial developed terms and vocabularity, i tend to think!) as one experience it in other relationships! Your replies always reavels a great, deep understanding of attachments- issues! And i am so glad you chose to...
[QUOTE]
But hell, when has that ever stopped me chipping in with bucketloads of words [QUOTE]
...lovin it!
[QUOTE]
That eternal fear, of making yourself out to have a much bigger emotional impact on T than in reality. [QUOTE]
yes- this is so true. I am starting to blush even just imagining that outcome of the "confession". I tend to flip-flop between thinkin that i have ha HUGE inpact on my T- and than i start rationalize it and "ground myself" and end up thinkin that i am just "one in a dozed" thing.. Just a patient. Just ONE of his meny patients...
I do thnik differently about this whole thing now.. Both of you- UV and LL- gave me some perspective at this, and helped me to not overdramatize(is that a word?) this.. thanks so much.
I`ve just sent a sms to my T, (normally never does that) but havent heard from him yet. Tomorrow it is indeed!
ok- i have to run- thanks again Lamplighter! You truly are very dear to me here on forum, ...Take care!
Seriously, lamplighter- i`am sitting here now wearing a smile because reading you`re reply made me suddently think something like "what the heck-i am doin it- `i`ll just throw the comment about the book, in there!" ..and see how it goes.. it IS a public book so i havent done anything wrong reading it-(as you both implied sp gently to this one!) i am only "guilty" of not telling him before i`ve read it! Tthere has ben numbers of times he said things to me- i have known from before, because its writtin in that *stupid*book of his that i have read obsessively over and over again!.. arrg..i am angry at the book.. *BLAME IT ON THE BOOK*
Just a "CORRECTION" to you LL: YOU DO have ATTACHMENT KNOWLIDGE! as, you seem to know (you just dont know yet
) all this attachment astuff is pretty universal, and aint really so different in the therapeutic settin,(it just takes form as something very uniqe because of the spescial developed terms and vocabularity, i tend to think!) as one experience it in other relationships! Your replies always reavels a great, deep understanding of attachments- issues! And i am so glad you chose to...[QUOTE]
But hell, when has that ever stopped me chipping in with bucketloads of words
[QUOTE] ...lovin it!
[QUOTE]
That eternal fear, of making yourself out to have a much bigger emotional impact on T than in reality. [QUOTE]
yes- this is so true. I am starting to blush even just imagining that outcome of the "confession". I tend to flip-flop between thinkin that i have ha HUGE inpact on my T- and than i start rationalize it and "ground myself" and end up thinkin that i am just "one in a dozed" thing.. Just a patient. Just ONE of his meny patients...
I do thnik differently about this whole thing now.. Both of you- UV and LL- gave me some perspective at this, and helped me to not overdramatize(is that a word?) this.. thanks so much.
I`ve just sent a sms to my T, (normally never does that) but havent heard from him yet. Tomorrow it is indeed!
ok- i have to run- thanks again Lamplighter! You truly are very dear to me here on forum, ...Take care!
ps: And UV, thank you for letting me "use" your thread discussing my issue. Hope you dont mind it- (it doesnt seem like that-
Dear Ultraviolet- first: Please dont be afraid that you`re words made me uncomfortable- thats NOT the case at all- i am sorry i misleaded you to think so- (blame it on my bad english! I meant that you (which i am thankful for)were "hitting the nail", sinse i felt "hit" by your words..you know? I truly appreachiate that- and please dont change your honest style! I am sure me, and the people here on forum appreachiate the honesty.. Always! I think its rather great that people here dare to say whats on there mind and dare to share theire opinion! We should encourage that IMO!
So UV- thanks again for your new very genreous reply and for taking time to "teach" me this stuff! Right now, i am just sad, because i dont think the session will be tomorrow afterall. I`ve sent my T a text, askin if we could change the time for tomorrows session, allthough, he hasnt replied - and i dont think i will reach the early time we`ve planned..
Anyways-
it's not uncommon for therapist-patient to settle into those default roles. It's comfortable. It can be gratifying. It can be enjoyable. However, i believe therapy should not be too, too comfortable. If you're too comfy, change cannot be realized...
WISDOM! - and yes, i believe so as well. I guess i am the one whom always tries to make it comfortable with my T- (takin the pleaser role and stuff) and all the UNcomfortable feelings in our relation, - is caused by my T whom in order to not get "cauth" in all the comfy (not-therapeutic) settings i am creatin.. And i realize, just now, that he`s doin a great job not letting himself "lean back"- as he always seem to "push" me forward.. Simply by not allowing me to only stay within "comfy- zone" Hmm... so- i am the one perhaps whom denies to change..yep- that sounds like me
It sounds like your T is much less self-disclosing than my T is. That in itself can emphasize your taking on the sister role...
yes, indeed my T`s hardly do self-disclosing.. UV- would you explain this for me? The qote?
I am glad you`re looking forwared to your appt! And hey- i also hopes its even more of the good stuff to come for you! The breakthrough you`ve had might have "opened up" a door within you- in which it comes in LOTS of closeness and tender-fuzzy feelings..Which you also now seem able to EXPERIENCE! Keep enjoyin` the euforia UV- its truly the best medicin!
And- lol- i relate to the constant "spinning the session-movie" over and over again, in order to recall the good feelings... After such sessions- i do that myself- like i am playin the "movie" watchin it carefully on my inner "screen!" Yep..i have some of those movies on my mind that i can recall when things gets hard...
Thanks again UV! Even if my session tomorrow will be canselled- i am surprisingly Ok with it.. or..pretend i am, i dunno..
-all the best Ultraviolet
So UV- thanks again for your new very genreous reply and for taking time to "teach" me this stuff! Right now, i am just sad, because i dont think the session will be tomorrow afterall.
I`ve sent my T a text, askin if we could change the time for tomorrows session, allthough, he hasnt replied - and i dont think i will reach the early time we`ve planned.. Anyways-
quote:
it's not uncommon for therapist-patient to settle into those default roles. It's comfortable. It can be gratifying. It can be enjoyable. However, i believe therapy should not be too, too comfortable. If you're too comfy, change cannot be realized...
quote:
WISDOM! - and yes, i believe so as well. I guess i am the one whom always tries to make it comfortable with my T- (takin the pleaser role and stuff) and all the UNcomfortable feelings in our relation, - is caused by my T whom in order to not get "cauth" in all the comfy (not-therapeutic) settings i am creatin.. And i realize, just now, that he`s doin a great job not letting himself "lean back"- as he always seem to "push" me forward.. Simply by not allowing me to only stay within "comfy- zone" Hmm... so- i am the one perhaps whom denies to change..yep- that sounds like me
quote:
It sounds like your T is much less self-disclosing than my T is. That in itself can emphasize your taking on the sister role...
quote:
yes, indeed my T`s hardly do self-disclosing.. UV- would you explain this for me? The qote?
I am glad you`re looking forwared to your appt! And hey- i also hopes its even more of the good stuff to come for you! The breakthrough you`ve had might have "opened up" a door within you- in which it comes in LOTS of closeness and tender-fuzzy feelings..Which you also now seem able to EXPERIENCE! Keep enjoyin` the euforia UV- its truly the best medicin!
And- lol- i relate to the constant "spinning the session-movie" over and over again, in order to recall the good feelings... After such sessions- i do that myself- like i am playin the "movie" watchin it carefully on my inner "screen!" Yep..i have some of those movies on my mind that i can recall when things gets hard...
Thanks again UV! Even if my session tomorrow will be canselled- i am surprisingly Ok with it.. or..pretend i am, i dunno..
-all the best Ultraviolet
Hey UV I’d love to hear more about the after effects of your experience. Hope it is still giving you a warm glow
By the way both the links you’ve posted don’t work - is there another way of getting into that article?
Frog - did you end up having that session yesterday? How are you doing?
Hugs to both of you.
LL
By the way both the links you’ve posted don’t work - is there another way of getting into that article?
Frog - did you end up having that session yesterday? How are you doing?
Hugs to both of you.
LL
Hi UV- dont worry about hte links- i appreciated the attempt!
sorry I have not written anything about how the session went .. especially after both of you (LL also) gave so much support regarding the session. i feel a bit guilty for not bringing up the book/sister thing. As you know, the whole "lie-memory"-stuff came up instead. And now- 2 sessions later- its ALLOT of other stuff that has captured me. In a good way. It might sound weird, but i have recently figured out that my T doesnt want me to be in that "victim-role" - last session he took on a really active role. (normally He`s withdrawn and not very active) and i understood the way he spoke, that HE (also) wanted me to trust my own confident and that i have no reason the feel inferioir with him. Anyway:
SO now i am more interested to investigate this latest discovery and up to further, I have putted the "sister-book theme" on the shelf. it will come up one day. i know. but now I'm not "there" anymore. thanks for asking about it. I do feel a little embarrassed because I did not manage to implement it. but this is how it is.
UV, seriously- i cant believe how your T called you her name again! It makes me angry actually.
I am very interested in that- WHAT DID YOU ANSWER WHEN HE USED WRONG NAME? did he apologize immediately? Or did the mark remain uncommented? I understand how confusing and hurtful it must be. I thought he was aware of this now, and STOPPED doing this? This IS ABOUT HIM! (how could it be about your UV?)I might have missed something here i guess. sorry if this was a bit over-reaction, i am just angry on your behalf.
AND BTW: the door-bell is so brutal when it rings. I hate it too. Espescially when it rings in the middle of my session (and the bell has a really harsh sound)
sorry I have not written anything about how the session went .. especially after both of you (LL also) gave so much support regarding the session. i feel a bit guilty for not bringing up the book/sister thing. As you know, the whole "lie-memory"-stuff came up instead. And now- 2 sessions later- its ALLOT of other stuff that has captured me. In a good way. It might sound weird, but i have recently figured out that my T doesnt want me to be in that "victim-role" - last session he took on a really active role. (normally He`s withdrawn and not very active) and i understood the way he spoke, that HE (also) wanted me to trust my own confident and that i have no reason the feel inferioir with him. Anyway:
SO now i am more interested to investigate this latest discovery and up to further, I have putted the "sister-book theme" on the shelf. it will come up one day. i know. but now I'm not "there" anymore. thanks for asking about it. I do feel a little embarrassed because I did not manage to implement it. but this is how it is.
UV, seriously- i cant believe how your T called you her name again! It makes me angry actually.
I am very interested in that- WHAT DID YOU ANSWER WHEN HE USED WRONG NAME? did he apologize immediately? Or did the mark remain uncommented? I understand how confusing and hurtful it must be. I thought he was aware of this now, and STOPPED doing this? This IS ABOUT HIM! (how could it be about your UV?)I might have missed something here i guess. sorry if this was a bit over-reaction, i am just angry on your behalf.
AND BTW: the door-bell is so brutal when it rings. I hate it too. Espescially when it rings in the middle of my session (and the bell has a really harsh sound)
UV...I am so sorry that this is going on...I makes me feel very angry listening to him continuing to call you by this other patients name. I would say trust your gut if you can. If your gut is telling you that it's crossed the line, then I would say it probably has. Trust yourself and believe that you are worth the very best. I know how hard it is and how strong our attachments are to our T's...but you do deserve someone that is taking care of YOU and focused on YOU. Please take care...((((((UV))))))
Hals..
Hals..
UV,
Seriously? I am angry on your behalf as well. How freaking hard is it to get your patient's name right? Did he acknowledge that at all? Sheesh.
Also, what is this bell business? That would seriously tork me off. First off, I would jump out of my skin and secondly it just seems like such an intrusion into time that you are paying for. I guess I've never been in a T's office that had a bell or timer or any sort. They (and sometimes me) just watch the clock and manage the time.
Seriously? I am angry on your behalf as well. How freaking hard is it to get your patient's name right? Did he acknowledge that at all? Sheesh.
Also, what is this bell business? That would seriously tork me off. First off, I would jump out of my skin and secondly it just seems like such an intrusion into time that you are paying for. I guess I've never been in a T's office that had a bell or timer or any sort. They (and sometimes me) just watch the clock and manage the time.
I think it is inexcusable for him to get the name wrong, actually. That must feel sort of like when my ex exclaimed his former girl friend's name in the "heat of the moment". And then denied it.
I am so used to confronting my T that I would have no problem calling him on it. And I guarantee it would never happen again.
My T uses a light system -- no bells. A small light in the ceiling/in a corner. I hate the light, too, though, because I can see it out of the corner of my eye. I could sit somewhere else so I can't see it, but it wouldn't be as comfortable. I can tell when it looks at it anyway. And he has 3 small clocks strategically placed throughout his space. So, I can see on 2 of them when I walk in that he is running late, as usual!
I am so used to confronting my T that I would have no problem calling him on it. And I guarantee it would never happen again.
My T uses a light system -- no bells. A small light in the ceiling/in a corner. I hate the light, too, though, because I can see it out of the corner of my eye. I could sit somewhere else so I can't see it, but it wouldn't be as comfortable. I can tell when it looks at it anyway. And he has 3 small clocks strategically placed throughout his space. So, I can see on 2 of them when I walk in that he is running late, as usual!
uv, i wish i could help, that is getting quite confusing in there, and i know when i get confused, i protect and numb out.
don't know about this dating deal, but your assumption sounds right on. i don't know, i have never been able to really tell a t what i think about him. i admire your courage, but he might be alarmed, and is recommending this to you for YOU, not so much that he is a liability.
you are such an intelligent personality, that i am sure you are not the easiest for him to alway come up with the right stuff with, y'no?
he is probably caught off guard a bit, as you are pacing with him so well.
hugs, jill
don't know about this dating deal, but your assumption sounds right on. i don't know, i have never been able to really tell a t what i think about him. i admire your courage, but he might be alarmed, and is recommending this to you for YOU, not so much that he is a liability.
you are such an intelligent personality, that i am sure you are not the easiest for him to alway come up with the right stuff with, y'no?
he is probably caught off guard a bit, as you are pacing with him so well.
hugs, jill
Hi UV,
I haven't responded yet on this thread, because I haven't really known what to say, but I've followed along, and I just thought I'd make one comment.
I think the fact (well, I suppose it's not a fact, but it seems like a very plausible guess) that it's unconscious is something that your T needs to explore in his own therapy. The thing that bothers me about this is that he hasn't seemed to take this seriously. When he first messed up your name, well that's one time so I guess I would let that slide if it were me (though it would bother me a lot), but it irks me for you that he's made the mistake several times and doesn't appear to be in a hurry to change this recurring error. He needs to figure out for himself why he keeps making this mistake. But I also think that he needs to be open to hear everything you think and feel about him messing up your name so many times now. Frankly, that just seems wrong, and it shouldn't happen, especially in a therapeutic relationship.
As much as I hate for you to be in pain over this, UV, please don't let it slide. I know you said you're becoming desensitized to it, but, in my opinion, you're only do so to get away from the pain that his mistake brings about.
And, of course, this is only my opinion so take whatever helps you, or take nothing at all...I won't be offended in the least. I'm just sorry that you're in so much pain.
Bug hugs,
Kashley
I haven't responded yet on this thread, because I haven't really known what to say, but I've followed along, and I just thought I'd make one comment.
quote:I do not think he is thinking of this patient when he is with me...the name slipped out by mistake. It's unconscious.
I think the fact (well, I suppose it's not a fact, but it seems like a very plausible guess) that it's unconscious is something that your T needs to explore in his own therapy. The thing that bothers me about this is that he hasn't seemed to take this seriously. When he first messed up your name, well that's one time so I guess I would let that slide if it were me (though it would bother me a lot), but it irks me for you that he's made the mistake several times and doesn't appear to be in a hurry to change this recurring error. He needs to figure out for himself why he keeps making this mistake. But I also think that he needs to be open to hear everything you think and feel about him messing up your name so many times now. Frankly, that just seems wrong, and it shouldn't happen, especially in a therapeutic relationship.
As much as I hate for you to be in pain over this, UV, please don't let it slide. I know you said you're becoming desensitized to it, but, in my opinion, you're only do so to get away from the pain that his mistake brings about.
And, of course, this is only my opinion so take whatever helps you, or take nothing at all...I won't be offended in the least. I'm just sorry that you're in so much pain.
Bug hugs,
Kashley
Dear Ultraviolet,
There is plenty of things i would wanted to comment on here. There is alot of sadness and frustration comming across here, i think. I feel bad for you. I am sorry you feel this way- and perhaps, i hope, some of the worst feelings are over by now. I am a bit late on here, but wanted to let you know i read your poster and i think i see your T slip, differntly now. IMO your T handeled the name-slip very well, when he asked you sit back and talked with you about it. That was the right thing to do. It`s good he assured you that he sees you as an individual and cares about you etc. And i hope you can believe him. Yet i understand the confusion all this causes, it really confuses me as well! I see no other way that talking with him about this further in order to clear up the cunfusion.
You know best of course if there is reasons to be mad at him for this, or not, since you have the context in mind as well... but i know how hard it is to allow us being angry at T`s for there errors- espescially if you at the same time- as you wrote- are worried that he will push you away because of your needs. (i mean, you may hold back anger in order to at least not push him further away?) About that worry: I doubt very much he`s tryin to push you away by sugesting the dating. I understand why this upset you though- but i imagine your T`s sugestion could be understood in a much more positive way. He obviously understands from what you also expressed to him the other session; that you wish to be closer to him, mentally and physically- and that this genuin wish/need must be met somehow. And the sugestion about the dating- was maybe your T`s way to (paradoxically) help you by "give you" this..(date) in that way that he knows he`s not the One that can or should met all of your intimacy-wishes. I think he had the best interest in mind when he suggested it, -hoping that you would find someone that also would be able to love you back as well...(in a not-therapeutic setting, you know all that stuff)
I dunno UV- i might be off here. FWIF: whenever my T start hinting about me should date/meet a boy or something, i ALWAYS hate it - and gets so angry at my T for "pushing me away". yeah i feel that as well, but i do also know that my T does it in my best interest really. He noticed my (very strong) attachment and the following wishes to be closer to him, but that doesnt stop him from wanting me to "look out there" for someone else. I bet he tries to stimulate those wishes- yet "direct" them to someone else. In a way. gosh- this is too hard to express even in my own language, i cant make myself clear (or helpful) in english.
so anyway: UV, i also hope you and your T can work this all out, and creds to you for being so honest with him about your pain and needs. Thats very well done, and i am sure your T must apreaciate the trust and honesty. Dont let your fear for being a burden to your T take all over- thats waste of energy.
All the best to you- and if it helps you, keep venting here, its a great thread, you know we all learn from reading here as well!
(btw, thanks alot for your words for me here! I did feel very guilty for not bringing it up, but right now it all seems so have faded away, its just plenty with new relevant stuff that has entered my therapy the last session. Today was a bad one again. Of and on. No connection. Thanks for responding when your havin a hard time youself uv. Thats generous.)
There is plenty of things i would wanted to comment on here. There is alot of sadness and frustration comming across here, i think. I feel bad for you. I am sorry you feel this way- and perhaps, i hope, some of the worst feelings are over by now. I am a bit late on here, but wanted to let you know i read your poster and i think i see your T slip, differntly now. IMO your T handeled the name-slip very well, when he asked you sit back and talked with you about it. That was the right thing to do. It`s good he assured you that he sees you as an individual and cares about you etc. And i hope you can believe him. Yet i understand the confusion all this causes, it really confuses me as well! I see no other way that talking with him about this further in order to clear up the cunfusion.
You know best of course if there is reasons to be mad at him for this, or not, since you have the context in mind as well... but i know how hard it is to allow us being angry at T`s for there errors- espescially if you at the same time- as you wrote- are worried that he will push you away because of your needs. (i mean, you may hold back anger in order to at least not push him further away?) About that worry: I doubt very much he`s tryin to push you away by sugesting the dating. I understand why this upset you though- but i imagine your T`s sugestion could be understood in a much more positive way. He obviously understands from what you also expressed to him the other session; that you wish to be closer to him, mentally and physically- and that this genuin wish/need must be met somehow. And the sugestion about the dating- was maybe your T`s way to (paradoxically) help you by "give you" this..(date) in that way that he knows he`s not the One that can or should met all of your intimacy-wishes. I think he had the best interest in mind when he suggested it, -hoping that you would find someone that also would be able to love you back as well...(in a not-therapeutic setting, you know all that stuff)
I dunno UV- i might be off here. FWIF: whenever my T start hinting about me should date/meet a boy or something, i ALWAYS hate it - and gets so angry at my T for "pushing me away". yeah i feel that as well, but i do also know that my T does it in my best interest really. He noticed my (very strong) attachment and the following wishes to be closer to him, but that doesnt stop him from wanting me to "look out there" for someone else. I bet he tries to stimulate those wishes- yet "direct" them to someone else. In a way. gosh- this is too hard to express even in my own language, i cant make myself clear (or helpful) in english.
so anyway: UV, i also hope you and your T can work this all out, and creds to you for being so honest with him about your pain and needs. Thats very well done, and i am sure your T must apreaciate the trust and honesty. Dont let your fear for being a burden to your T take all over- thats waste of energy.
All the best to you- and if it helps you, keep venting here, its a great thread, you know we all learn from reading here as well!
(btw, thanks alot for your words for me here! I did feel very guilty for not bringing it up, but right now it all seems so have faded away, its just plenty with new relevant stuff that has entered my therapy the last session. Today was a bad one again. Of and on. No connection. Thanks for responding when your havin a hard time youself uv. Thats generous.)
Hey UV,
I have to admit I haven’t read this whole thread, but just from your last post it’s so good to hear someone talking so positively about their relationship with their T. I can relate so much to practically everything you said about feeling how empathetic and caring your T is. I think we both have some pretty amazing T’s, UV. I don’t have much to say except for, that’s great and I’m really happy for you.
I just had to quote this whole paragraph because I love it! It makes me smile. I’m feeling the exact same way. I’ve had warm fuzzzies too since my session on Thursday
-Mac
I have to admit I haven’t read this whole thread, but just from your last post it’s so good to hear someone talking so positively about their relationship with their T. I can relate so much to practically everything you said about feeling how empathetic and caring your T is. I think we both have some pretty amazing T’s, UV. I don’t have much to say except for, that’s great and I’m really happy for you.
quote:I've also realized the more and more my therapist's words match his actions, his genuineness, concern, and empathy that he expresses while working through each rupture- the more scared i got that he really cares about me. This is a new insight; it's been fairly unconscious up until this point (or it's been intellectualized). The best part is-that i'm starting to accept his IRL love as opposed to feeling like 'fleeing' from it. He really does care, he really is genuine, and he really will not harm me despite the transference feelings I feel. My weekend is full of warm fuzzies.
I just had to quote this whole paragraph because I love it! It makes me smile. I’m feeling the exact same way. I’ve had warm fuzzzies too since my session on Thursday
-Mac
Hello UV - I’m sorry you feel like you don’t gel in this group. I wonder if that’s because you’re feeling a bit victimized because you have such a good relationship with your T and feel that the criteria for posting here is only about the bad stuff? I would be sad if you stopped posting because you do have so much of value to say and moreover I at least find it really helpful.
(I also hope it wasn’t my comment to you in my Panic thread that has contributed to making you feel unwelcome and unappreciated here - for what it’s worth I responded from a place of feeling not heard, rather than its being an attack on you. I’m sorry I made you feel you’d said something wrong or unhelpful )
It would be a sad thing if people felt they couldn’t post about good T experiences here - sad for them but also for those of us who need to know that good therapy and therapists actually exist.
I’m glad you feel so good about your T - and it sounds like he is really helping you. Whether you keep posting or not, I want to wish you all the best
LL
(I also hope it wasn’t my comment to you in my Panic thread that has contributed to making you feel unwelcome and unappreciated here - for what it’s worth I responded from a place of feeling not heard, rather than its being an attack on you. I’m sorry I made you feel you’d said something wrong or unhelpful
)It would be a sad thing if people felt they couldn’t post about good T experiences here - sad for them but also for those of us who need to know that good therapy and therapists actually exist.
I’m glad you feel so good about your T - and it sounds like he is really helping you. Whether you keep posting or not, I want to wish you all the best
LL
UV,
I want to jump in here and say I very much enjoy your posts - your really informed insight and your directness. It is hard to know what's okay to say or not; I think we all wrestle with that. But I for one am okay with a bit of bluntness or a bit of theory-based talk, so if you ever feel that hesitance in my direction, it is okay to go ahead and say.
I also hope you don't dismiss the value of sharing your positive experiences. They are a valuable balance.
I read your earlier post in this thread describing the intensely close session you had. I was very moved by it and have meant ever since to thank you for describing it. I found it very healing to read, because it resonated with me in a really particular way.
Take care,
Jones
I want to jump in here and say I very much enjoy your posts - your really informed insight and your directness. It is hard to know what's okay to say or not; I think we all wrestle with that. But I for one am okay with a bit of bluntness or a bit of theory-based talk, so if you ever feel that hesitance in my direction, it is okay to go ahead and say.
I also hope you don't dismiss the value of sharing your positive experiences. They are a valuable balance.
I read your earlier post in this thread describing the intensely close session you had. I was very moved by it and have meant ever since to thank you for describing it. I found it very healing to read, because it resonated with me in a really particular way.
Take care,
Jones
quote:Originally posted by ultraviolet:
What do you mean you didn't read this entire post???? lol
I meant the whole entire thread. I did read your whole post (the one that I responded to). Last time I checked it there were like 5 posts and then all of a sudden there were 50!? Where have I been?
quote:Originally posted by ultraviolet:
I feel like i can't be honest here. I can't just tell people what they want to hear-that's not me.
I think we might be in the same boat. I can’t just be 100% supportive when I feel that whoever might be mistaken about something. And I can’t fake it either. But I think as a general rule that's not appropriate here.
Echoing what UV said- No hard feelings! I’m not saying this to get anyone’s sympathy- it’s just the way that I relate with people doesn’t mesh as well here. That doesn’t mean I don’t love posting here- just means I’ll hold my tongue sometimes
hahahah got it!
quote:
i'll come back and update about the dissociative-closeness stuff; you, LL, and i think Frog were interested in hearing about it. talk to you later!
quote:
yes, indeed- caunt me in!
I am still here UV,(love reading this still growing thread btw) just havent managed to squeeze(?) in lately!