I would like to try. 5 minutes. I can't think of anything that I am good at or that makes me happy. Can it be stuff I "should" do?

BB

.

ok...so, if I end up kind of pushing myself to do stuff a lot of the time, but most of it falls apart again right away again, so I give up...is there a way to break the cycle of immediate or eventual failure that I find always accompanies anything I attempt? erm...to *keep* building, instead of build-fail-build-fail...then give into the fail...does that make sense?

BB

BB

Hey, I'm sorry I'm late to this, but I'd really like to do this challenge if you guys are still into it.

I have been using a to-do list lately and it has been working pretty well for me, but I notice my feelings about it are starting to change. It really helps me to clear my head and keep on track, but I'm starting to feel hemmed in, and it's maybe adding to the feelings of depression and failure I'm having at the moment.

That's not so much because of things undone - I use an online list application which works really well because it never leaves 'undone' things on a day - if you don't cross something off (or remove it) it just takes them off the day you didn't do them and puts them on the next day, so when you look back you only see the ones that you've done. BUT I have only been putting my obligations on there - not anything nice.

And I notice that even if something nice is an obligation (like reading for work, or doing some creative work) I don't put it on there. But that's partly because those things also make me feel really overwhelmed, because they are so open-ended, and partly because I get so confused in how I feel about them (I love them but get stuck and they are 'shoulds').

So anyway, I'd really like to join this mastery challenge by putting something nice on my list for each day. But I'm not sure if the reading & creative work is it or not. I'm going to try out putting one pure treat and one of the others on each day too.

I'd really love to keep talking with others about this here if that's okay - it would help me a lot. I know from experience I am going to find it hard to put those things on the list and DO them, and that's the other reason I leave them off - I really don't believe I CAN remember and manage to do them, and I don't want to break my faith in my list.

Beebs, I'm also struggling for things that make me happy too, but my first one is going to be rubbing my feet with relaxing scented oil for five minutes.

xxxJones

I'm desperate so I will try anything. I took the dog for a long walk today. It felt good.

good idea Deepfried.

Jones, I like your idea but I'll try it on my neck.

PG

dudes...you are WAY ahead of me. I am still on..."get dishes done."

Scented oil??? could this be the answer???

where can I buy some of that?

grocery store? hmmm.. DF, help me here!

Beebs

Deepfried,

I have a big yard but my dog loves to go for walks. We walk him everyday but my husband usually takes him on long walks after dinner. We have switched routines to see how it goes. He also loves to lay beside me while I'm reading or resting. He is wonderful and keeps me grounded. I'm glad you have a grat dog to share your time with.

PG

Well, now, my T has given me a challenge, and I have said I would try, but only because he told me to. He seems ok with that. To do some music each day, even if I do not want to or feel like it, just to try, and if it is impossible we can talk about it.

Guess I'm on the wagon again for this challenge! (I did it today for just a few minutes...yawns, but, oh well) aNybody do theirs today?

Thats great BB


I was really bad today, ate peanut butter and cereal and that's pretty much it, no exercise, nothing for myself, spent all spare time helping my mom since she had chemo fri, which is a good thing, but it was very emotional and stressful. But since the days not over I’ll try and make a point of doing a little 5 minute meditation before bed!! Tomorrow should be better with having therapy in the morning, I’ll have to warn my T we are not ending on anything heavy!!

hmmm...peanut butter and cereal is "health food" in my world, Mac!

I'm so sorry about your mum...I didn't realize she was having chemo....good for you, doing any kind of challenge for yourself...that is inspiring with everything you are dealing with.

BB

Hey Mac, I'm really sorry about your Mom's sickness too. I'm glad you are there to share time with her and help her, but I know it must be rough, and I'm glad you are looking after yourself too.

DF, your inner valleygirl is cute! How was the facemask?

And Beebs, how wonderful that you have a music challenge - have you had a little go yet? And YES find some scented oil! Or even a moisturiser with a really nice scent!

I'm a bit too scared to really do the creative challenge but I did my reading and my foot rub the first night, missed it the second night, and I'm about to try it again tonight. I also tried a new thing today, which was setting up a second online to-do list (ok I have to give you the link for this again because this has been helping me SO much - it's teuxdeux.com) for a particular big, complex project I have on. I've been avoiding working on this like crazy and it's giving me massive anxiety attacks, but now I have a separate daily list for it it feels a bit more under control.

Umm, where was I?

Oh yeah, reading and foot rubs... I'm gonna go do that soon, but I think also I might open a new thread to talk about creative work.

Good luck everyone with their mastery challenges!

Ok, I gotta check that website out. Texdoos? Oh, sorry, no that is too cowboy. More frenchy...Teuxdeux...gotta look at that.

I did my 5 minutes of music yesterday, but ick, ugh, I'm just not there anymore, and felt bad the whole time. It was literally, just something that I forced myself to "get done." When 5 minutes were up, I was outta there. I'm just doing it cause my T was so specific, said do it whether you want to or not, and do it every day- so will keep trying.

I'm not really a scented oil kinda person...maybe that's what my problem is. I tend to stay away from anything that "feels good." hmmm lots to think about here.

good luck with your challenges today, everyone!

BB

I know, and it was even organic peanut butter! But still, I have an extremely strict, balanced, planned out vegan diet that I adhere to, and I get majorly thrown off balance when I don’t eat right. My goal today is to eat 3 balanced, cooked, local, organic vegan meals, no excuses of being out or busy or anything.

That’s awesome BB, but I think you missed the “be proud of yourself” step! That’s definitely a great accomplishment.


Oh, and thanks everyone for the well wishes about my mom.

And yes meditation with scents is great. I have one called Panic Button that has Neroli, rose, and lavender that’s amazing. I’ve been meaning to get some more jasmine scents... I know several people who use jasmine to sleep. I’ve read many things about the effects of jasmine being similar to valium...>?!?!?

dinner is my daily goal. no matter what, even take out, but family fed is my goal. and, cooked last night and tonight looks good. small steps, but, when i deduce what is my biggest 'small' goal for the day, and take care of it, the day feels so much better.

oh, and also saying 'no' to volunteer things i used to feel too guilty to say no to...without a big hairy excuse, too.

as my t says (voltaire) 'tend your own garden'...

great things y'all are doing out there! mastery...uh, how about good-enoughish??

jill

great thread-

i`ll go for one of jill`s "good-enoughish" here- because thats all i up to at the moment:

Today i managed to type in 5 sentences at my schoold-paper.

And i managed to NOT send a stupid text to T

i managed to play on the piano again (havent done that for a long time, since i so often become sad for some reason doing it)

I did my challenge. yucky. but I did it. two days, in a row. woot. a new record for BB.

Woohoo, BB! Lookityou, all not failing & everything! Hooray!

Frog, hooray for you too, all counts! I wonder if part of what happens for a lot of us with the creative stuff is that when we start to connect with that part of ourselves, we connect with our underlying or unprocessed emotions, and its easier to shut off?

Jill and Maclove, love your goals. Brilliant and reminds me to take something out of the freezer for dinner.

And three cheers too DF for the value of doing something fun for someone else. I forget that one often myself.

Go team, one and all!

xx J

Ugh my plan of not leaving therapy on anything heavy didn't work!! i left crying.. even though it was a freaking amazing session.. one of the best. But it's all I could think about the rest of the day and it threw my whole day off. So then last night I was going to listen to my session and journal but I listened to about 5 minutes of it when i SOMEHOW accidentally deleted it!! I hate technology!!!!!!! i was soooooo pissed!!!!!


I'm going to go grocery shopping at my favorite health food store and maybe i'll even get some makeup as a little treat. I’ve been texting my T and I have another session tomorrow morning.. I better not delete this session too!

Ok, I havn't exactly done this challenge...but I have most days, done the music thing my T suggested, and started yesterday and today with the long walks. It doesn't seem like much, but to me it's a big deal to me because I did it 2 days in a row. (crazy, I know, but I'm really not in a good way) I have to say the music thing is not getting any easier. It's still painful to get through and no fun at all. I hate it. Bringing up all the reasons why I quit it to begin with.
must keep plugging.

BB

Yay BB!!!! good job!

You all have me inspired. I remember learning about the DBT mastery concept, and my T said for some people it might even include something as simple as getting out of bed and taking a shower every day. She said main goal is to notice something, anything, you do with success and just take that in... no matter how "small"...

and you all have taken on some great things!

I'm going to give something a try. hmm...

it is hard to think of something I do well and have any sense of mastery of though...

well, I do take showers well! lol... and I do enjoy scented lotions...

ah, I need a challenge. (as if I am not challenged enough!) more thinking to do.

Thanks for the ideas and inspiration all!

thank you Jane...if you decide and want to share, we'd love to hear about it..

I'm still struggling with the concept of taking it in and feeling good about it. I can't "make myself" feel proud of myself. MAybe good feelings will come in time.