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The answer to this question is very subjective don't you think?
If by argue you mean me pointing out why something he has said is wrong, or not helpful, or I think there was some miscommunication, or maybe something has upset me and i need more clarification or to better explain something, then one or twice a month. IF i have an issue like this, that has developed from the last session then i always lead my sessions with this issue, I consider it a housekeeping issue.
If by argue you mean frank arguements, heated discussion and "clashes" then never. My therapist just accepts what I say in a calm manner, if when I get a little excited, he doesn't fight back so there is never an augrement.
Catnip
If by argue you mean me pointing out why something he has said is wrong, or not helpful, or I think there was some miscommunication, or maybe something has upset me and i need more clarification or to better explain something, then one or twice a month. IF i have an issue like this, that has developed from the last session then i always lead my sessions with this issue, I consider it a housekeeping issue.
If by argue you mean frank arguements, heated discussion and "clashes" then never. My therapist just accepts what I say in a calm manner, if when I get a little excited, he doesn't fight back so there is never an augrement.
Catnip
The answer is subjective, like catnip said. I argue with my T every session & in between sessions (phone calls & texts). It's mainly because I put up a fight to pretty much everything that he says...
Here's an example:
Him: Mac, it's really not safe to have sex with pizza men.
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT SAFE! How could that not be safe?!??!?! You don’t know anything!
Him: You didn’t know who this person was…..
Me: (cutting him off) I don’t care! You are such a dork and you don’t even know how to have fun!
Him: I am only concerned about you, this isn’t a moral issue, it’s me being concerned about your safety.
Me: Okay… well… fine…. maybe….. it might not be that safe….. I guess…… maybe you might be kinda right……. BUT I STILL THINK IT WAS SAFE AND I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY…. But I guess maybe I will consider that it wasn’t the safest choice for me…..
We do have bigger ruptures too sometimes, like if he says something that hurts my feelings, or there’s some problem with our relationship, and those normally get worked out in a week or two.
Here's an example:
Him: Mac, it's really not safe to have sex with pizza men.
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT SAFE! How could that not be safe?!??!?! You don’t know anything!
Him: You didn’t know who this person was…..
Me: (cutting him off) I don’t care! You are such a dork and you don’t even know how to have fun!
Him: I am only concerned about you, this isn’t a moral issue, it’s me being concerned about your safety.
Me: Okay… well… fine…. maybe….. it might not be that safe….. I guess…… maybe you might be kinda right……. BUT I STILL THINK IT WAS SAFE AND I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY…. But I guess maybe I will consider that it wasn’t the safest choice for me…..
We do have bigger ruptures too sometimes, like if he says something that hurts my feelings, or there’s some problem with our relationship, and those normally get worked out in a week or two.
I agree with Catnip here. If by argue you mean outright arguing over something then the answer would be never.
If by argue you mean that we have a misunderstanding or other type of rupture where things need to be worked through and clarified then probably every few months.
If by argue you mean that we have a misunderstanding or other type of rupture where things need to be worked through and clarified then probably every few months.