New T: Yes I will give you a hug.

OldT: I'm sorry I wrecked your life. It was all my fault. I was wrong and you were right. I couldn't control my feelings and made it about me and not you. Yes, your son can come to camp. I don't want to be enemies with you. Maybe you can drop me an email once in awhile and let me know how you are doing because I really do care about you and want you to be well and happy. I'm sorry I hurt you and caused you so much pain...

Oh TN, you are holding back a little...I think OldT needs to say, "Thank you for not suing my ass!!! I know I certainly deserved it and I am one lucky son of a bitch that you didn't. I totally failed you and its just because I was scared of my own countertransference issues. What I did was wrong and unethical the way I terminated your therapy. I am so sorry and I completely understand if you never forgive me, though I hope you do because I care about you and hope that we can make peace someday".

T1 to me:
Remember the other day when I said, "I REALLY like you"? Well, what I meant to say was, "I love you!"

HAH! I love it! Mine would say:

"BB, I will be flying overseas to your area on Tuesday, coincidentally, and want you to consider coming in for a session and meeting in person while I am there. It would be greatly helpful to me, in getting to know you better, so that I can continue to help you. If you are unable to afford a session with me at this time, that is ok, I will be happy to reduce my fees in this case. I would also like to come to your church while I am there, and meet your friends which of course includes your SD, and of course, your family, because it all sounds so cool to me. I would love to meet your adorable children, and give them a lot of, magically, very appropriate hugs. However, I do not think it would be beneficial for you to have a marital session during this time, unless we do it where I don't charge you at all for it. And, as long as you are comfortable with it, I would like you to sit on my lap during the individual session, and you can lean on my shoulder so that we can better connect. I will be wearing my softest very cool European sweater. I think all of this would be greatly beneficial for your healing, according to my research and my understanding of the scriptures."

Oh, I am just laughing my ass off writing this! So much fun. I'm pathetic.

TN - You are very generous.

LG - Like your version to TN's OldT.

BB - Literally LOL.

T to Yaku: I wish I could take your pain away. (He has actually texted that, but wish I could hear him say it). I wish I had been your Father. I'd like to sit next to you in your sessions, so you can feel what it's like to be safe, close to, held by a parent, the way you deserved. I really care about you, Kiddo. I think about you and want to know you're doing OK. Would it be alright if I called to check in on you or just to chat?

This thread is even more embarrasing than the other one!!!

(((((Monte))))) I hope you get to hear those things!!!

PS - Crossposted, especially that last one!

IrishRose, since your insurance allows unlimited visits, you may have the Thursday at 11 slot...forever.

"I always wanted to have a daughter just like you"

Heather! i think you should move in with me for a few months

BB- You do not know what is good for you, sometimes. I am not going to comply with your request that I remember to charge you for every email. It makes it much too difficult for us to communicate as we need to be able to do, since you are broke. You are just going to have to accept, that you can write to me as much as you want to and I will read and respond when I can, and if you need an immediate response you are going to have to learn to say so, and then I will need to charge you in those cases. That is final, and I do not want any more arguments from you on this matter. Do you understand?

And remember- I love you, and would give you cuddles if I could.

T1 to me:
LG, I smile when I see that I've gotten a text from you. I know you think you burden me with your texts, but I like that you text me.

I love these!

Strangely, I am unable to do this exercise at the moment. Weird!

T to Yaku:

I'm sorry you're feeling scared and alone today. Let's do lunch! We can talk or just be in each other's presence until you feel grounded again.

quote:

Originally posted by scaredtoriskmyself:
I love these!

Strangely, I am unable to do this exercise at the moment. Weird!

I find it much more difficult to do this exercise than to do the say anything to T thread. I guess its hard to ask for what we need. So much easier to get thoughts out than to let people in and accept love.

T2 to me:
I was thrilled when I had a cancellation for next Tuesday and was able to fit you in and even happier when you said you were available at that time.

quote:

Originally posted by LadyGrey:

quote:

Originally posted by scaredtoriskmyself:
I love these!

Strangely, I am unable to do this exercise at the moment. Weird!

I find it much more difficult to do this exercise than to do the say anything to T thread. I guess its hard to ask for what we need. So much easier to get thoughts out than to let people in and accept love.

Yes, I agree. I think it is more than that though. Most of the things I can think of T has said to me. I just have trouble believing them.

quote:

Oh TN, you are holding back a little...I think OldT needs to say, "Thank you for not suing my ass!!! I know I certainly deserved it and I am one lucky son of a bitch that you didn't. I totally failed you and its just because I was scared of my own countertransference issues. What I did was wrong and unethical the way I terminated your therapy. I am so sorry and I completely understand if you never forgive me, though I hope you do because I care about you and hope that we can make peace someday".

LG... THAT was perfect. You nailed it! That is exactly what I want to hear and what he should say .... while kneeling down in front of me and bowing. What evil fun this is! You are right... I WAS too nice.

What I want to hear from newT: I would be happy to call you every day just to check in because I worry about you and I care about you and I miss talking to you. And yes, you can come to see me forever (although I think he has already told me that... sort of... LOL... as in I can come as long as I want to because he does not terminate patients).

Oh and ... yes I can hold your hand in session whenever you need me to because I know how hard this is.

Gosh I'm missing him...

TN

T to me again: Yaku, I'm so glad our phone call yesterday is helping you make it until our next office session. I'd like us to do a phone session at least once a week. I love talking to you and it's so important to me to know you're doing OK!

T1 to me:

I'm so proud of you, Lady Grey! You are working soooo hard and I know it is easy. You are making me proud!

quote:

Originally posted by LadyGrey:

quote:

Originally posted by scaredtoriskmyself:
I love these!
Strangely, I am unable to do this exercise at the moment. Weird!

I find it much more difficult to do this exercise than to do the say anything to T thread. I guess its hard to ask for what we need. So much easier to get thoughts out than to let people in and accept love.

I think you are spot on LG. This is hard for me to do... It is so much harder to think of what I'd really want my T to say, what I long for and want...

I think I'd want eq T to say: "You can come forever and ever, and you only have to stop when you are ready." (We haven't talked about stopping, but I know it's gonna come someday).

regular T: "can I give you a hug jane?"



*edited*

(ok this is tangental but a good release for me to post right now.)

my extended family: "Jane, even though we have you been in your life (and you have not been in ours) for 13 years, and we *say* we want you to be included in extended family events now, we understand why you don't feel good about that. We are sorry we treat you worse than a friend or a guest. We are sorry we assume we know everything about your life now even though we have not seen you in more than a decade."

Despite my calm collected demeanor, it was incredibly hard to let you walk out my door. And I miss you more than I can say. I don't want you to be doing badly but I do wish I could hear from you more often, as it can be hard not knowing what or how you're doing. And I know I had to stick to my no hug policy, but it was really difficult for me not to hug you goodbye too. I hate the boundaries sometimes too.

(ag sneaking in one last post before sailing!)

Dear R2G,

I just got the message you left on my voicemail yesterday. I know it was not easy for you to call, and I'm proud of you for doing so. We'll talk on Monday on what we can do to make the time between our sessions a little easier to handle. If it means I call and leave you a few messages of things you want to hear, then that's what I'll do. Whatever will help you best. See you tomorrow.

Your T, who is very proud of all the work you've been doing!

One more thing R2G - I know you've been wanting double sessions, as the 45 minutes goes rather quickly. While I can't make our Monday session a double, I can on Thursdays, and we'll start that this Thursday.

T1 to me:
Lady Grey, Please stop hurting yourself! I mean it when I say that I don't want you to die.

This is an interesting thread! It’s making me think… but right now I seriously can’t think of anything! I would like him to say that he’s proud of me but he already does that constantly. I would like him to say that I’m not “too intense” (which my dad drilled into my head when I was little) but he does that already. I would have liked him to explain what happened the day of our fake-term but he’s done that already too, in the most honest heartfelt, sincere, and humble way. I would like him to tell me that I can call him whenever I want, but then also be so happy and proud of me for processing on my own, but he does that already.

Lol, I’m extremely happy with my therapy right now if ya can’t tell!

Mac

T to me:

Yaku, I hear that you need to know what's OK. I'm not angry about how much you contact me. I'm NEVER going to push you away. Please call me any and every time you are thinking of hurting yourself or having dangerous thoughts. And text me when you are missing our therapy relationship, feeling alone, scared of being abandoned...as many times a day as it comes up for as long as it takes for you to feel our connection even when we're not together.

Hrm...that was embarrassing.

T to Me:
No matter what you say or do R2G, I am not going to get rid of you. When you leave, it will be on your own choosing, and the door to come back will always be open.

(and as I have a journal entry to share with my T tomorrow, I think I might just leave this line in and see what she says)

@Yaku- no embarrassment necessary - you spoke from the heart and I know you'd melt with happiness if your T said that. Heck, I'd melt with happiness for you if your T said that!

quote:

Originally posted by Draggers:
i wonder if i am finding this thread hard to post on cos i am one of the lucky ones and all my needs are being met?
the only thing i can think of her saying would be " dragonfly get out my office, you are cured"

Well, I can join you in that. I can't think of a thing that I would want her to say that she hasn't already said. I feel bad posting that, but it's true. My fantasy ideas in my head that I think I would want I can't even say because they would be boundary crossings and ultimately kill the relationship so I don't even really want to go there. You know? Everything else she's already said.

quote:

Mac-it's great to hear. I always liked your T.
Are you doing the holistic therapy plan as well?

Right now I'm doing acupuncture and my boyfriend and I are doing Skype sessions with an absolutely wonderful shamanic tantric practitioner. My plan was to do massage therapy too but I’m already so fulfilled with everything I’m doing right now! Thank you for asking!

Mac

Thank you for asking! I love it because I’ve found it extremely spiritually fulfilling, which was something I felt was really lacking in my life. Along with the sense of calm and inner peace, I feel that working with my acupuncturist has given me an immense confidence in myself and my place in the world, or at least enough confidence that I was finally able to start my own business! I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it too!

Mac

STRM - Awesome! I'm less ambitious. Would you mind wishing my T to do a phone session with me every week in addition to my office session and for just enough money to get out of debt?

T to me: I'm proud of you, Kiddo. (I think I've said this one before). Let's rearrange this office or go out for a walk, so you can feel less isolated in our next session.

Yaku: Sure, no problem!

DF: (((hugs))) I'm sorry you feel so tired, but I understand.