Yuck, it must feel like you have two parents playing you against each other? Is there any way to do a phone session all three of you and figure out how much of it was misunderstanding/miscommunication and what part might have been purposeful misdirection? I'm sorry, LG...this must feel so gross...a very confusing place to be.

(((((LG)))))

So upsetting. It's definitely not clear who said what and there has been an obvious miscommunication. I hope you can sort this out. I know they kind of strongarmed you into this agreement but I'm not sure I would like my two T's consulting behind my back. I would want to be in on things or at least privy to what's going on. Yaku hit the nail on the head with the two parents playing you against each other. It definitely puts you in a very powerless position and IMHO you don't deserve to be there.

Liese

(((((LG)))))

I know how much it would hurt you to lose T1.

((((LG))))))

If you are getting the sense that T2 wants you to terminate with T1, maybe they discussed that it would be best for your treatment??? So, it wouldn't be that T1 doesn't want to work with you anymore but that she realized that it's not what's in your best interests???? It's like when a parent has to do something for a child that the child won't like but will help the child grow? And the child can't appreciate it at the time???

I don't know if that is what's going on here. But I do know you have a strong attachment to T1. It's hard for me to believe that she just wouldn't want to work with you anymore. There would have to be more to it.

Hmm, that's interesting LG. I hope you can get some clear answers out of T1 but the way she has been lately, I'm not so sure she will be straight up with you. Except the worst and if it turns out better than that, it'll be a gift, right??? Is that really bad advice?? That's what my friend told me her mother used to say when she was little.

LG,

Wow, I'm really sorry for everything that has transpired here with your T's.

I have to say that I'm not sure who to believe at this point and I can imagine that you are feeling similar. I know I've said this before, but I really think the dynamic of having these two T's is turning into the triangulation that I have expressed concern about before. Honestly, I know you are attached to T1, but you've said yourself that T2 is a better T and you see her in person. I really would strongly consider terminating with T1 and just seeing T2, but I know that isn't my place to decide. I'm sorry for being so opinionated here, but for a while it has seemed like having the two of them as your T's is not serving your best interests.

Please feel free to tell me to bugger off if you like. I'm really coming from a place of concern for your well being and safety.

(((hugs)))

quote:

I am not sure I am going to address the lie directly, but I do plan to ask her how she feels about continuing to work with me.

Why not? What do you have to lose at this point? If she really did lie to you and tell T2 what T2 says then I would call her on it. I'm totally with Yaku as well and wonder if a conference call during a session with T2 might not be a bad idea.

quote:

I would also like to at some point ask her if she would like to continue working with me, as my gut is telling me she is having second thoughts.

This sounds like a practical idea, and personally I also think you should bring up the fact she lied to your face. Think of it this way: imagine if you told her an outrageous lie, she would probably want to dissect it in depth. So if it's not too uncomfortable for you, I think it would be a good idea to bring it up in the next session.

Or if you feel too uncomfortable, maybe email/call T2 and ask her to bring it up with T1? I mean if I was a professional, and another professional I was working with made up BS about me to support something I don't believe in, I would be pissed off. So T1 betrayed T2 as well as you.

quote:

Those were really the only 3 reasons either T could come up with (out of the 9 criteria).

I have 4/9 and I definitely don't have BPD.

I'm glad your session went so much better than last time and she was able to reassure you that she wants what is best for you and does care. I hope you are also able to clear up the miscommunication (lies?) about BPD soon as well.

AWWW, Love it LG. You are so wise.

You're a genius. Let them wage the war. And you can just stand back and root for both of them.

LG,
I'm really glad that you were able to do some repair with T1 but if I may be honest, I am glad you are planning on terminating with her. Not only do I find the fact that she lied to you, or at least grossly misrepresented a conversation but red flags went up for me because of how many of her statements in the conversation you laid out were about HER feelings, and what she wanted. Your therapy should be about you and she should be managing her feelings elsewhere. I think your instincts towards working with T2 long term to heal are good ones. But I am sorry as I know that T1 has been very significant to you and it must be sad to contemplate letting go of the theraputic relationship.

AG

Ag,

I can see how it seems as though much of the convo was about Ts feelings. In her defense, I started the convo by stating, "I would like to discuss how things went during our last session and I'm wondering how you are feeling about things now?" I intentionally made an effort throughout the convo to check in with her and not just make it about me because it was important for me to know how she was feeling. Typically, I do not feel that she makes the therapy about her.

However, I do still feel that I need to terminate with her at some point. I get so much more out of my therapy with T2.