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Frosty,
You are asking yourself so many good and hard questions. Just because she likes you doesn't mean you have to be independent all in one day, you know what I mean? It doesn't mean you have to fly the coup yet.
You are asking yourself so many good and hard questions. Just because she likes you doesn't mean you have to be independent all in one day, you know what I mean? It doesn't mean you have to fly the coup yet.
I agree with Liese here. One step at a time. Sometimes we don't want what is healthy. Sometimes it is enough to want to want it...or to want to want to want it. 
I'm glad your T likes you! I would love to hear my T say that. I'm actually fairly certain he does, just because he has so many nice things to say about me, and sometimes wastes portions of my H's sessions talking about how amazing I am, as a wife, mom, writer, etc. 
Ooooh, now caught up in all these lovey-dovey feelings for my T. Why does he do this to me??? Anyway, Frosty, it will be OK. Let's just take it easy on ourselves, if either of us can manage it!
I'm glad your T likes you! I would love to hear my T say that. I'm actually fairly certain he does, just because he has so many nice things to say about me, and sometimes wastes portions of my H's sessions talking about how amazing I am, as a wife, mom, writer, etc. Ooooh, now caught up in all these lovey-dovey feelings for my T. Why does he do this to me??? Anyway, Frosty, it will be OK. Let's just take it easy on ourselves, if either of us can manage it!
Its so wonderful to know that we are liked, even when we have faults. I like you, too!
I know what you mean about questioning whether or not you really want to get better. My T2 asked me early on if I like my eating disorder. I said yes. (even though I hate it too). I said, "its the only thing that's been there for me consistently". Getting rid of it would be like losing a part of myself. and like you, I would wonder, what's next?
With that being said, I also know that getting better is the only option for me because I cannot continue to live my life this way.
Its a difficult spot to be in with you both wanting to please your therapist but also recognizing that there is this part of you that doesn't want to get better. I am wondering, do you fear that you won't need therapy if you get better and when that happens, that means you lose the care you get from your T?
I know what you mean about questioning whether or not you really want to get better. My T2 asked me early on if I like my eating disorder. I said yes. (even though I hate it too). I said, "its the only thing that's been there for me consistently". Getting rid of it would be like losing a part of myself. and like you, I would wonder, what's next?
With that being said, I also know that getting better is the only option for me because I cannot continue to live my life this way.
Its a difficult spot to be in with you both wanting to please your therapist but also recognizing that there is this part of you that doesn't want to get better. I am wondering, do you fear that you won't need therapy if you get better and when that happens, that means you lose the care you get from your T?
Oh (((frosty))) gosh you're honest and often so hard on yourself!! Firstly, it's just great that she's told you she likes you and you 'feel' it!! You don’t need to worry about becoming attached – she’ll help you with that when it happens also.
IMO What you’re forgetting here is that when you do get rid of your phobias and are who you want to be, you will grown into adulthood emotionally also – these problems are all tied up together and as Liese said it’s not going to happen in a day!!
LG has a point also – you’ve just heard what you want from T, so moving forward is scary and you’re projected so far down the track to when you are healthy and will no longer need her (at least as much!).
You’re so brave to put it all out there and I believe you’re also on the edge of moving forward, and a understandably just a bit scared of it!!! Go for it girl!
xo Morgs
quote:She asked me last week whether I actually want to get better. It was a serious question and I definitely take it seriously. I’ve thought a lot about it and I actually think I don’t really want to get better. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I didn’t have these phobias because they do make my life a living hell.
But when I get rid of them, when I’m a strong, independent woman, what is next? Emotionally, I’m a child. I am.
IMO What you’re forgetting here is that when you do get rid of your phobias and are who you want to be, you will grown into adulthood emotionally also – these problems are all tied up together and as Liese said it’s not going to happen in a day!!
LG has a point also – you’ve just heard what you want from T, so moving forward is scary and you’re projected so far down the track to when you are healthy and will no longer need her (at least as much!).
You’re so brave to put it all out there and I believe you’re also on the edge of moving forward, and a understandably just a bit scared of it!!! Go for it girl!
xo Morgs