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LG,
Have they given you any reasons explaining why they don't like this person? Have you looked into their motives for telling you this? Are they being benevolent or is there some jealousy involved?
It's hard to comment without knowing more but I can tell you that I have stopped being friends with people that other people didn't like simply because they were jealous or whatever and I didn't realize it at the time. I regret that now more than I can tell you.
I also had a "boy" friend in high school who kept telling me that my boyfriend was no good for me. After my boyfriend and I broke up, those two became really good friends and the "boy" friend, who I really loved as a person, stopped being my friend. It was really confusing. My boyfriend turned out to be gay. And some people have suggested that my "boy" friend is a closet gay. And that might have explained what happened but to this day, I don't really understand it all.
Sometimes it's useful to listen to other people, just not blindly. You have to consider the source.
Sorry if this wasn't helpful.
Liese
Have they given you any reasons explaining why they don't like this person? Have you looked into their motives for telling you this? Are they being benevolent or is there some jealousy involved?
It's hard to comment without knowing more but I can tell you that I have stopped being friends with people that other people didn't like simply because they were jealous or whatever and I didn't realize it at the time. I regret that now more than I can tell you.
I also had a "boy" friend in high school who kept telling me that my boyfriend was no good for me. After my boyfriend and I broke up, those two became really good friends and the "boy" friend, who I really loved as a person, stopped being my friend. It was really confusing. My boyfriend turned out to be gay. And some people have suggested that my "boy" friend is a closet gay. And that might have explained what happened but to this day, I don't really understand it all.
Sometimes it's useful to listen to other people, just not blindly. You have to consider the source.
Sorry if this wasn't helpful.
Liese
LG
I wouldn't necessarily break up with them but I would try to talk with my friends and get their reasons for disliking the person. Our friends usually know us well and people outside a relationship can often have a clearer perspective due to not being emotionally involved. All that said our friends can sometimes have objections for their own reasons such as jealousy or your not being as available as you used to be. So listening to and considering their concerns is, I think, a good thing but you need to decide if their complaints hold water and even if they do, are they deal breakers for you?
It sounds like you are concerned about a relationship because the people around you aren't happy about it. How are you feeling?
AG
I wouldn't necessarily break up with them but I would try to talk with my friends and get their reasons for disliking the person. Our friends usually know us well and people outside a relationship can often have a clearer perspective due to not being emotionally involved. All that said our friends can sometimes have objections for their own reasons such as jealousy or your not being as available as you used to be. So listening to and considering their concerns is, I think, a good thing but you need to decide if their complaints hold water and even if they do, are they deal breakers for you?
It sounds like you are concerned about a relationship because the people around you aren't happy about it. How are you feeling?
AG
LG,
I think it depends on whether you can tease out the motivation for the comments. Are they seeing things that you aren't? Do they dislike your girlfriend or do they dislike the way she is treating you? I would ask for some specific examples and then be really honest with yourself and reality test those.
Were you single for a while before this relationship? The reason I ask is that sometimes when we've been single for a while and able to devote all of our free time to our best friends and then start dating again and spend most of our time with a new person it can leave the friends feeling hurt. So I would want to know if the dislike is genuinely about how you are being treated or is it a change in your availability causing jealousy?
I can't say what I have done in the past because my friends rarely met my boyfriends because they weren't around long enough. My most introduced boyfriend is now my H and he was always well liked by my friends so I can't really say. If I were dating now and my best friend didn't like my boyfriend and had legitimate concerns then I would listen to her because she wouldn't lead me astray.
I think it depends on whether you can tease out the motivation for the comments. Are they seeing things that you aren't? Do they dislike your girlfriend or do they dislike the way she is treating you? I would ask for some specific examples and then be really honest with yourself and reality test those.
Were you single for a while before this relationship? The reason I ask is that sometimes when we've been single for a while and able to devote all of our free time to our best friends and then start dating again and spend most of our time with a new person it can leave the friends feeling hurt. So I would want to know if the dislike is genuinely about how you are being treated or is it a change in your availability causing jealousy?
I can't say what I have done in the past because my friends rarely met my boyfriends because they weren't around long enough. My most introduced boyfriend is now my H and he was always well liked by my friends so I can't really say. If I were dating now and my best friend didn't like my boyfriend and had legitimate concerns then I would listen to her because she wouldn't lead me astray.
LG
I agree with what DF said, I'm sure there are great things about her or you wouldn't be with her. But fwiw, I've been married 25 years and would never go through my husband's phone without permission, nor would he go through mine. Have to admit that it would be a red flag for me.
AG
I agree with what DF said, I'm sure there are great things about her or you wouldn't be with her. But fwiw, I've been married 25 years and would never go through my husband's phone without permission, nor would he go through mine. Have to admit that it would be a red flag for me.
AG