I think I know what you're talking about sea-green. For me, it comes out not as anger, but more as annoyance, and even more as rebellion.

There have been times where my T will say something and I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears to block her out. Or sticking my tongue out at her while she's talking about something I don't want to hear. (neither of which I've done, but...)

I have, though, done the exact opposite of what I'm supposed to do, and then told T what I did. She says I'm in the rebellious phase of development right now, which makes sense because I really didn't rebel against anyone or anything growing up.

I think the best thing to do is talk about this with your T. If it's too hard to speak it, print your post here and give him that.

Good luck!

For me, I see a female. I couldn't imagine talking to a man. I have no male relationships except for my H (dad died when I was a baby, so no memories of him). So, anyway, I see a female, but she is only about 5 years older than me. So, at first it felt like she was a friend, or big sister (I have three big sisters, two half that I didn't grow up with, and one is one year older who I did grow up with but was never a "big sister" to me (whatever I mean by that)). But, the last two months I felt her more 'motherly' to me and I feel some of my 'if I talk to her I will just feel worse' feelings that I have had all my life with my mom. I am thinking this might be why I have really really clammed up the last two months with her. I'm trying desperately to figure it out now. However, I could never go to a man....have no interest in trying....I think it is just working through it, maybe part of the process we must do. I agree with R2G, talk to your T and tell him exactly what you're thinking and feeling.

Sea-Green,

I know it feels embarrassing to bring it up with him, but I suspect he will be able to help you feel less ashamed by this. I think these sorts of feelings are normal. I'm sure you are not alone in feeling this way. In fact, just recently I felt intense anger towards T2 as I walked into her backyard to go to therapy and I saw that she had a new set of outdoor furniture. Somehow this made me intensely angry towards her...that she entertains in her backyard and has people over to sit by the firepit. It made me so angry for some reason and I wanted to kick her furniture over. But I didn't. But of course those feelings were embarrassing for me. Yet I think its normal for us to have these type of feelings now and again.

Hi Sea-Green, I agree with LadyGrey that these feelings are normal and worth exploring with your T. I too have had 'irrational anger' toward my T (like getting angry she emailed me from her iphone or getting angry at her for having a cup of coffe during our session!!)...sometimes I bring it up with her and explore it and this has helped immensely to 'normalize' my feelings and/or help me judge my feelings less....I also think that if you switched to a female T that these issues (anger,etc) will still come up...only for different situations...good luck and i'd like to hear how it goes if you do decide to discuss this with your T...mlc