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(((DF)))
I don't have any answer for you but just wanted to say that your post touched me. I can't imagine having to go through the unpleasantness of therapy only to still be "owned" by the same bullshit for which we endured therapy to fix in the first place.
Of course, I type "I can't imagine" but the reason your post resonated with me is because, frankly, I indeed CAN IMAGINE that scenario and it scares the heck out of me.
But I have hope that if we do the work with competent T's that something, one day, will click. Or I'll be really pissed off and want my money back.
(((DF)))
I don't have any answer for you but just wanted to say that your post touched me. I can't imagine having to go through the unpleasantness of therapy only to still be "owned" by the same bullshit for which we endured therapy to fix in the first place.
Of course, I type "I can't imagine" but the reason your post resonated with me is because, frankly, I indeed CAN IMAGINE that scenario and it scares the heck out of me.
But I have hope that if we do the work with competent T's that something, one day, will click. Or I'll be really pissed off and want my money back.
(((DF)))
If I understand correctly you are questioning (when you are triggered) if you are actually triggered or just expecting to be and then making yourself feel that way? I am not sure that the latter is possible nor do I think that is what you are doing. I think what you wrote above about not wanting to put narrative to it, but the feelings of being triggered still being there is a great way to approach this with T.
As far as triggers getting better, yes they can get better. I have been hugely triggered by thunderstorms and so there is a significant part of the year that is very triggering for me. The first two storm seasons during therapy I was a mess when it would storm. Every now and then we would get lucky and it would storm during my T session. T and I worked over and over and over on being triggered by storms and traumas that happened during storms (hence the triggering). I can honestly say that this year the storm season has only been mildly to occasionally moderately triggering. I expected it to be really bad like before and braced for it as the time of year approached and then much to my surprise the intensity from previous years wasn't there. So, yes it can get better!!
You are doing great work. The healing will come. (((hugs)))
If I understand correctly you are questioning (when you are triggered) if you are actually triggered or just expecting to be and then making yourself feel that way? I am not sure that the latter is possible nor do I think that is what you are doing. I think what you wrote above about not wanting to put narrative to it, but the feelings of being triggered still being there is a great way to approach this with T.
As far as triggers getting better, yes they can get better. I have been hugely triggered by thunderstorms and so there is a significant part of the year that is very triggering for me. The first two storm seasons during therapy I was a mess when it would storm. Every now and then we would get lucky and it would storm during my T session. T and I worked over and over and over on being triggered by storms and traumas that happened during storms (hence the triggering). I can honestly say that this year the storm season has only been mildly to occasionally moderately triggering. I expected it to be really bad like before and braced for it as the time of year approached and then much to my surprise the intensity from previous years wasn't there. So, yes it can get better!!
You are doing great work. The healing will come. (((hugs)))