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((((LG))))
It's a tough decision. I don't envy you that one.
xoxo
Liese
It's a tough decision. I don't envy you that one.
xoxo
Liese
((LG))
Wow, that is definitely one of those life altering decisions that takes serious inner reflection to make a choice. I agree with what DF said about DBT style list making of pros and cons.
Would she be willing to move with you, transfer to an area closer to you?
You asked yourself a good question about "do you stay and do what's best for you in short term because that's what feels good right now?"
I was thinking of another way to phrase that:
"do you stay and do what feels best because you see that this loving relationship you are in is progressing into something that will give you lifelong happiness?" The decision to stay with her is also a choice for your future if in your future you can never imagine living without her.
I know how difficult this decision will be for you, and I pray that you come to a decision that feels good in your heart & soul and that you will wake up years later, look back, and never have to say "I should have."
Explore ALL options before coming to a final decision. Be true to yourself and listen closely to what YOU want more than anything anyone else tells you.
Thinking about you,
Brokes
Wow, that is definitely one of those life altering decisions that takes serious inner reflection to make a choice. I agree with what DF said about DBT style list making of pros and cons.
Would she be willing to move with you, transfer to an area closer to you?
You asked yourself a good question about "do you stay and do what's best for you in short term because that's what feels good right now?"
I was thinking of another way to phrase that:
"do you stay and do what feels best because you see that this loving relationship you are in is progressing into something that will give you lifelong happiness?" The decision to stay with her is also a choice for your future if in your future you can never imagine living without her.
I know how difficult this decision will be for you, and I pray that you come to a decision that feels good in your heart & soul and that you will wake up years later, look back, and never have to say "I should have."
Explore ALL options before coming to a final decision. Be true to yourself and listen closely to what YOU want more than anything anyone else tells you.
Thinking about you,
Brokes
Wow LG, that’s great news on all fronts and wonderful that things are starting to go so well for you. You’ve done your time in purgatory 
And of course, it never rains but it pours eh? DF has made some great suggestions (I particularly like the four quadrants exercise, the most I would have come up with is a double list of pros and cons.)
My immediate thought was couldn’t you ask your partner to move to the new place with you? Though I expect you’ve already thought about that so sorry for stating the obvious.
I found myself in a very similar position once, which involved not just moving to another city but transplanting myself halfway across the world – for a job and for a country I’d always dreamed of living in. But I was living with someone at the time that this opportunity came up and I really put myself through the wringer trying to decide what to do, whether to stay or go. In the end I realized that if I stayed I would have destroyed the relationship anyway because I’d have ended up resenting my partner for preventing me from doing what I really really wanted and needed to do. So I left. And didn’t regret it, though I went through a very painful time accepting the loss of my making.
Not saying you should do this, just that it’s wise to think about whether you would hold it against your partner in the end or not. The choice would have to be wholehearted or it may end up destroying the good that you have. DF’s suggestion of giving it a go long distance sounds like a pretty good compromise, and if your relationship thrives despite the distance, you’re in a win-win situation.
Well that’s me done for giving advice (lol repeating someone else’s.) I hope that whatever you decide, there is as little as pain as possible
LL
p.s. how's your therapy situation, going well I hope.
And of course, it never rains but it pours eh? DF has made some great suggestions (I particularly like the four quadrants exercise, the most I would have come up with is a double list of pros and cons.)
My immediate thought was couldn’t you ask your partner to move to the new place with you? Though I expect you’ve already thought about that so sorry for stating the obvious.
I found myself in a very similar position once, which involved not just moving to another city but transplanting myself halfway across the world – for a job and for a country I’d always dreamed of living in. But I was living with someone at the time that this opportunity came up and I really put myself through the wringer trying to decide what to do, whether to stay or go. In the end I realized that if I stayed I would have destroyed the relationship anyway because I’d have ended up resenting my partner for preventing me from doing what I really really wanted and needed to do. So I left. And didn’t regret it, though I went through a very painful time accepting the loss of my making.
Not saying you should do this, just that it’s wise to think about whether you would hold it against your partner in the end or not. The choice would have to be wholehearted or it may end up destroying the good that you have. DF’s suggestion of giving it a go long distance sounds like a pretty good compromise, and if your relationship thrives despite the distance, you’re in a win-win situation.
Well that’s me done for giving advice (lol repeating someone else’s.) I hope that whatever you decide, there is as little as pain as possible
LL
p.s. how's your therapy situation, going well I hope.
Hey LG,
Wow - you have some wonderful positive energies around you at the moment - and it sounds like you deserve it after such a bad time last year.
LG - I read your post and I got a feel for what I think. It is hard for me to put into words - but when you write about your self worth coming from designing - and this is a dream job for you etc - your words jump off the page to me.
If it were me - I would go for the job. Dream jobs don't come around that often (and loving relationships don't either...) but you have been waiting for this job for so long. If you stayed with your partner and let the job go - i think you would have more regrets than if you take the job and leave the partner. And it isn't just a JOB - the way you describe it is that your self worth, self esteem, happiness, drive in life etc - all will be positively affected by making the move and to be working full time with PASSION in an industry that you love.
Wow - you have some wonderful positive energies around you at the moment - and it sounds like you deserve it after such a bad time last year.
LG - I read your post and I got a feel for what I think. It is hard for me to put into words - but when you write about your self worth coming from designing - and this is a dream job for you etc - your words jump off the page to me.
If it were me - I would go for the job. Dream jobs don't come around that often (and loving relationships don't either...) but you have been waiting for this job for so long. If you stayed with your partner and let the job go - i think you would have more regrets than if you take the job and leave the partner. And it isn't just a JOB - the way you describe it is that your self worth, self esteem, happiness, drive in life etc - all will be positively affected by making the move and to be working full time with PASSION in an industry that you love.
If it were me, I'd go for the job. It sounds so passionate to who you are and your heart. If the relationship is meant to be, it can make it through a period of long-distance. If it survives, then you and she can renegotiate at a later time.
(((LG)))
I'm so glad to see a post from you but I'm sorry for the dilemma. I couldn't give you an opinion because it is such a hard choice. I hope you can talk to your T (or T's if you went back to T2) about it. I'm also excited so many good things happened for you lately.
let us know what you decide and how it works out,
di
I'm so glad to see a post from you but I'm sorry for the dilemma. I couldn't give you an opinion because it is such a hard choice. I hope you can talk to your T (or T's if you went back to T2) about it. I'm also excited so many good things happened for you lately.
let us know what you decide and how it works out,
di
Wow- it sounds like you have an amazing opportunity, there. It sounds like you have to make a choice based on emotion/immediate gratification versus a dream that could possibly lead to long-term stability. In the end it will be a value judgement for you- which do you want? It seems like you know you have to make a choice. That will be very difficult to do.
fwiw- I married my H instead of taking a job that was ...my dream job. I tend to think- to this day- that if I had taken the job, and "found myself" than my relationship would have survived if it was meant to, and be healthier in the long run, than it is now, when I made a choice based on what was easiest for me emotionally. That put me in a dependent, rather powerless frame of reference- both interiorly, and within the parameters of my relationship. I'm still, years later- working my way out of the mess.
You say that you feel called to be a furniture salesperson- but you admit that the job you have been offered will use your talents, and your talents will be appreciated! I am wondering what the motivation behind thinking you are called to be a furniture salesperson would really be, then? Is this hard? I am sorry. The other thing to take into account is stress levels- do you thrive under stress? Than go for it. If stress will lead to breakdown- than, perhaps better to do something that will not challenge you. It sounds like a really difficult decision, one that will alter your life's path! Remember that you can always change course, yet again.
My advice to you, is do do what makes you feel the most powerful, the most free, the most in control. In being true to yourself- a true relationship with another is likely to happen anyway.
Hugs,
BB
fwiw- I married my H instead of taking a job that was ...my dream job. I tend to think- to this day- that if I had taken the job, and "found myself" than my relationship would have survived if it was meant to, and be healthier in the long run, than it is now, when I made a choice based on what was easiest for me emotionally. That put me in a dependent, rather powerless frame of reference- both interiorly, and within the parameters of my relationship. I'm still, years later- working my way out of the mess.
You say that you feel called to be a furniture salesperson- but you admit that the job you have been offered will use your talents, and your talents will be appreciated! I am wondering what the motivation behind thinking you are called to be a furniture salesperson would really be, then? Is this hard? I am sorry. The other thing to take into account is stress levels- do you thrive under stress? Than go for it. If stress will lead to breakdown- than, perhaps better to do something that will not challenge you. It sounds like a really difficult decision, one that will alter your life's path! Remember that you can always change course, yet again.
My advice to you, is do do what makes you feel the most powerful, the most free, the most in control. In being true to yourself- a true relationship with another is likely to happen anyway.
Hugs,
BB
Sounds like things are going well for you.
So my question to you is, What does your girlfriend do? Is there any reason why she can't move with you?
If you are a Sr. designer can you work from home part time? 2 to 3 days a week in office after 6 months of being on the team to learn the ropes?
CNC
So my question to you is, What does your girlfriend do? Is there any reason why she can't move with you?
If you are a Sr. designer can you work from home part time? 2 to 3 days a week in office after 6 months of being on the team to learn the ropes?
CNC
LG,
Sorry I'm a bit late too, but what a difficult choice - real head and heart dilemma. It's hard to say for somone else what to do, I want to tell you to go with the job and career, but that would be the pot calling the kettle black as I moved with my H and changed a career pathway as a result 
Do let us know how you get on,
starfishy
Sorry I'm a bit late too, but what a difficult choice - real head and heart dilemma
. It's hard to say for somone else what to do, I want to tell you to go with the job and career, but that would be the pot calling the kettle black as I moved with my H and changed a career pathway as a result Do let us know how you get on, starfishy