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talk soon
pf
It's not stupid! I know that a text like that would bring everything back for me, too, and that in itself is so hard. I'm so sorry that she bothered you like this for a damn book.
I don't know what I would say, either. I think I would try really really hard to let some time pass before I answered--if I answered. I'm sure I would come up with around 800 rude, sarcstic, cutting things to say back, and I think I'd have to do that in my head for a while and then not do it for real, because it would only make things worse somehow.
I suppose it would be best to say something back about the book in a clear, but mild way, but I would wait until I felt OK about what I was writing, if possible. That's just me.
Sorry this happened to you, very much.
Good luck.
Quell
It's not stupid! I know that a text like that would bring everything back for me, too, and that in itself is so hard. I'm so sorry that she bothered you like this for a damn book.
I don't know what I would say, either. I think I would try really really hard to let some time pass before I answered--if I answered. I'm sure I would come up with around 800 rude, sarcstic, cutting things to say back, and I think I'd have to do that in my head for a while and then not do it for real, because it would only make things worse somehow.
I suppose it would be best to say something back about the book in a clear, but mild way, but I would wait until I felt OK about what I was writing, if possible. That's just me.
Sorry this happened to you, very much.
Good luck.
Quell
PF--
I could understand why this would hit you in an emotionally raw place. My thoughts are with you and I know whatever choice you decide to make it this decision will be difficult.
I could understand why this would hit you in an emotionally raw place. My thoughts are with you and I know whatever choice you decide to make it this decision will be difficult.
You'd think she could afford to just buy another copy. Sheesh!
Hi pf...
I'm in total agreement with BLT. Unless it's some vintage edition copy of Interpretation of Dreams signed by Sigmund Freud himself... I would just give it up for lost and buy the thing over again.
Texting you a year later to ask for a book back... I guess the bright side is, that you're well rid of her?
I'm sorry, hun I totally see how this is upsetting, particularly in how she phrased her text. I'd much rather someone just say "I'm texting because I need my book back" rather than try to sugar coat with niceties when it's clearly not the reason she's texting.
I don't think you owe her anything more than a terse reply. "I already gave it back to you." Case closed. She has the info she needs and you've been nice enough to respond.
big hugs,
effed
I'm in total agreement with BLT. Unless it's some vintage edition copy of Interpretation of Dreams signed by Sigmund Freud himself... I would just give it up for lost and buy the thing over again.
Texting you a year later to ask for a book back... I guess the bright side is, that you're well rid of her?
I'm sorry, hun
I totally see how this is upsetting, particularly in how she phrased her text. I'd much rather someone just say "I'm texting because I need my book back" rather than try to sugar coat with niceties when it's clearly not the reason she's texting.I don't think you owe her anything more than a terse reply. "I already gave it back to you." Case closed. She has the info she needs and you've been nice enough to respond.
big hugs,
effed
Well, I'm not gonna give advice on what to say or how to handle this cos if you say what I would've said, then she would probably end up needing therapy herself 
. All I can say is, if she's going to forget about who she lends her stuff out to, she shouldn't have lent it out in the first place. I wouldn't be surprised if she probably texted some of her other client the same thing; hi, how are you, I hope you're doing well and great oh btw can you give me my book back? Thanks. Um no, how about you just delete my number-why does she still even have it if you haven't seen her in so long, you've obviously moved forward and are doing just fine without her-and be more responsible for your things. HAve a nice life, peace. I guess thats the nicer version of what I would say....
. All I can say is, if she's going to forget about who she lends her stuff out to, she shouldn't have lent it out in the first place. I wouldn't be surprised if she probably texted some of her other client the same thing; hi, how are you, I hope you're doing well and great oh btw can you give me my book back? Thanks. Um no, how about you just delete my number-why does she still even have it if you haven't seen her in so long, you've obviously moved forward and are doing just fine without her-and be more responsible for your things. HAve a nice life, peace. I guess thats the nicer version of what I would say....
Pf I can understand how annoyed you were with OldT’s text, thinking it was a nice check in thing and then finding out all she wanted was to know about her book – disappointed as well perhaps?
I wonder how you would have felt had she just asked for the book without the polite pleasantry at the beginning of the text? It would have been more honest that’s for sure and you could have felt more justified in being annoyed especially as she’s already asked twice before (and I assume you’ve told her twice before that you don’t have it?)
It does seem a bit odd that she’s continuing to ask you for it, do you think there was some other hidden agenda reason for her texting you? It’s certainly an unwelcome intrusion considering that your relationship ended some time ago.
The text you’re thinking of sending her sounds pretty good to me, short and brusque enough to show that she’s pushing where she isn’t wanted, but polite enough that it can’t be interpreted as insulting or rude. Hope you’ve managed to send it by now
LL
I wonder how you would have felt had she just asked for the book without the polite pleasantry at the beginning of the text? It would have been more honest that’s for sure and you could have felt more justified in being annoyed especially as she’s already asked twice before (and I assume you’ve told her twice before that you don’t have it?)
It does seem a bit odd that she’s continuing to ask you for it, do you think there was some other hidden agenda reason for her texting you? It’s certainly an unwelcome intrusion considering that your relationship ended some time ago.
The text you’re thinking of sending her sounds pretty good to me, short and brusque enough to show that she’s pushing where she isn’t wanted, but polite enough that it can’t be interpreted as insulting or rude. Hope you’ve managed to send it by now
LL
Oh Frosters,
I can see why this would have bothered you, it's really her with the problem and not you, so I think a cool and measured reply is definitely on the cards here ....but don't hold your breath for a reply though, she seems to be single-mindedly thinking of her book and nothing else
frosty
starfishy
I can see why this would have bothered you, it's really her with the problem and not you, so I think a cool and measured reply is definitely on the cards here ....but don't hold your breath for a reply though, she seems to be single-mindedly thinking of her book and nothing else
frostystarfishy
I wonder if you could ask her not to contact you again. That was terribly rude of her to text to ask about a book. Really. Its just a book. She can buy a new one.
Yuck, PF. That would have really bothered me, too. Besides, I'm not so sure that I think texting is the appropriate way to contact a client with whom you haven't been in contact with in a while. It's not genuine, at least in my opinion.
If it's this painful for you to hear from her, then I don't think there's anything wrong with asking her not to contact you. You could add that into also reminding her that she's asked you several times already. And if you do run into her, you can just smile cordially and go on with your lives. She won't (or at least she shouldn't!!) stop you in the middle of the street and ask you about it.
It's good to hear from you, Frosty.
If it's this painful for you to hear from her, then I don't think there's anything wrong with asking her not to contact you. You could add that into also reminding her that she's asked you several times already. And if you do run into her, you can just smile cordially and go on with your lives. She won't (or at least she shouldn't!!) stop you in the middle of the street and ask you about it.
It's good to hear from you, Frosty.
Ha, that is a coincidence. And yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I see my old Ts around town quite often and it is awkward. I feel like it's gotten easier to shake it off the more often it happens, though. Or maybe because I've just convinced myself that they don't remember me anyway (which is probably true).
Have you thought about discussing this with your new P?
Have you thought about discussing this with your new P?
How are you feeling about her reply? I don't want to say much, because I don't want to project anything.
((hugs)) I hope you can discuss this a bit with your current T.
((hugs)) I hope you can discuss this a bit with your current T.
I don't think you have any need to feel bad. Like I said before, I don't think it's appropriate to text a client after you've been out of contact for a while. I'm glad she was nice about it, but yes, just this whole situation seems like it is evidence that you made the right decision. And I think she caught on to what you mean, not necessarily because of a missing hello or goodbye, but just the way you wrote it (which I think was very appropriate, by the way).
This is probably just me projecting my stuff, but something about her second reply (not quite sure what) seems like it takes away from some of the things she said in the first text - her preface before she asked about the book. Not quite sure what that's about, though.
Anyway, have you had a chance to discuss it with your current T? If it still bothers you, that is.
Gotta run - take care, PF. ((hugs))
This is probably just me projecting my stuff, but something about her second reply (not quite sure what) seems like it takes away from some of the things she said in the first text - her preface before she asked about the book. Not quite sure what that's about, though.
Anyway, have you had a chance to discuss it with your current T? If it still bothers you, that is.
Gotta run - take care, PF. ((hugs))
Aw...Frosty that would be the kind of thing that would really get to me too. I mean- it's just SO insensitive and downright rude. How are you- where's my book...for the third time? seriously?
