xoxo... good for you for putting this out there for us. It was lovely reading about your T and the special relationship that you have. He is an amazing T and to actually hear those words from him must feel so healing.

When I was reading I could really feel those feelings you describe. That alienation feeling is familiar to me. I feel like that at work a lot. Like I'm really not part of everything that is going on around me and I sort of float through the day just to get out of there and get home.

I would also agree with your T that first... having a child and feeling that unconditional love from them and feeling so needed and important by and to them is a feeling like no other, especially when that has been missing from one's past experiences. Secondly, being an empty nester would bring up grief, loss and old feelings even if you are happy for your son and his new life, it's still a loss or a change. I have not experienced this yet as my son is still young but I know it will impact me when it happens. I am already experiencing a weird sense of loss as he grows and needs me less and I feel less important to his life.

I am SO glad you got to see your T and that you came away with the realization that you matter and that your T really does love you. It's way more than the words because he has shown this over and over... but still.... hearing him say it must be quite wonderful.

Best to you,
TN

((((XOXO)))))

So happy for you that he actually said the words and it was so meaningful for you and so lovely to read. You deserve to be loved and to get all the good feelings that go along with it.

I hate to go into intellectual mode because your post gave me some wonderful feelings and I don't want to turn that off but here I go anyway. I know that feeling of alienation and it sucks, basically. I have another friend who had the same experience as you when she had her son. Maybe it could be related to an oxytocin type of thing going on in the brain? I remember falling in love with my first and how for the first time in my life felt entitled to say no to anyone making demands of me because my daughter was my first priority.

It's my personal belief that love makes all the difference in healing. It's just that it's not the end of the road. It makes the ground fertile. It's a starting point, a springboard for more love, other types of love to grow inside us as well.

My T hasn't actually said the words but I do believe he has been trying to communicate love to me lately. It fills me with such a sense of peace that I'm able to feel so much more compassion for other human beings, even when, or especially when, they fail me. It's almost like a switch has been turned off and my mind doesn't always wander over to that part of the neighborhood anymore. Sometimes but not always.

(((((XOXO))))))

Liese

XOXO -

just beautiful

I too just want to sit here and feel those feelings that I imagined after reading your post.

I am so glad you explained it so well
SD