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No worries xoxo 
I hope you have a wonderful weekend...
T.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend...T.
Xoxo, interesting post. There are so many factors that go into one's boundary development.
I don't recall any sexual abuse from early childhood, but I was taught by my father at an early age to do physical things for him - things that as a child, I was very uncomfortable with, like giving him foot rubs, and then I felt loved and appreciated. My value (I perceived) lay in what I could give physically.
I didn't feel like I had a say - like I had no boundaries. I needed to just do what was expected. I tuned out each time, but I was always told how good I was, how strong my hands were, how good it felt, etc. A little creepy. But I felt like my dad loved me at least. I felt like there was something I could do well at least.
Little wonder I became promiscuous when I was older - I just went from one type of physical affection to another. I sought approval (and love) that way. Only I felt hollow and empty inside, like I wasn't really there.
But my point is that I was taught early on that my boundaries - what I was comfortable with/comfortable doing - didn't matter, so I went on to live a life with virtually no boundaries for many years. Heck, I'm still figuring them out!
It's a painful, lonely feeling to give and not feel it reciprocated.
Starry
I don't recall any sexual abuse from early childhood, but I was taught by my father at an early age to do physical things for him - things that as a child, I was very uncomfortable with, like giving him foot rubs, and then I felt loved and appreciated. My value (I perceived) lay in what I could give physically.
I didn't feel like I had a say - like I had no boundaries. I needed to just do what was expected. I tuned out each time, but I was always told how good I was, how strong my hands were, how good it felt, etc. A little creepy. But I felt like my dad loved me at least. I felt like there was something I could do well at least.
Little wonder I became promiscuous when I was older - I just went from one type of physical affection to another. I sought approval (and love) that way. Only I felt hollow and empty inside, like I wasn't really there.
But my point is that I was taught early on that my boundaries - what I was comfortable with/comfortable doing - didn't matter, so I went on to live a life with virtually no boundaries for many years. Heck, I'm still figuring them out!
It's a painful, lonely feeling to give and not feel it reciprocated.
Starry
((( starry )))
i don't know what else to say ...
i don't know what else to say ...
Aw, hey, ((((CD))))!
It's alright, we learn on these blasted journeys, don't we??
Boundaries are so important, but aside from property lines, I didn't even know what else the word meant til I came here! (actually til I started reading AG's blog!)
And this place has been so pivotal to my healing, and so eye-opening.
Kudos to xoxo for posting about this, because it's important to talk about.
Hugs,
Starry
It's alright, we learn on these blasted journeys, don't we??
Boundaries are so important, but aside from property lines, I didn't even know what else the word meant til I came here! (actually til I started reading AG's blog!)
And this place has been so pivotal to my healing, and so eye-opening.
Kudos to xoxo for posting about this, because it's important to talk about.
Hugs,
Starry
POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: I was thinking about those who have endured abuse and how one becomes so enmeshed with their abuser/abusers that they lose their own identity...it's almost as if they are no longer a person of their own...So, when you are having to learn where you begin and end and learning where others begin and end...it can be a real challenge-Especially when your identity has been so compromised.