Cat you are safe and loved here. Nobody is going to execute you.
I find progressive relaxation and focused breathing helps. So does a good cry

Sorry, Cat. No, they do not hate you.

I've found muscle relaxation is not the same as nervous system activation. Relaxing you muscles won't necessarily calm you down. Sometimes when I'm anxious I actually bounce on an exercise ball for 5 minutes and that helps, or jog in place, or push against a wall or something else that's a little active and uses muscles.

I'm glad you came here, Cat.. No, your Ts do not hate you, and I know that all they want is for you to have some relief from everything, including the overwhelming anxiety you're feeling right now.

Like Poppet, wrapping myself tightly in a blanket always helps me relax. It's a feeling of physical safety that sometimes we just need.

Cat, your T's don't hate you. I love you and I appreciate your posts even when things are difficult for you. I completely relate to the feeling of anxiety that can't be quelled. I wish I had some useful technique to suggest I usually find that the anxiety runs wildly until it burns me out (not a very pleasant outcome). I think BLT's suggestion of exercise is a good one. A long time ago when I was a teenager I used to hit a tennis ball against a brick wall, hard, for hours. It got me away from my family (which was the source of the stress and anxiety). I hadn't realized until right now how being overweight and out of shape had really limited me, if that makes sense. I knew it prevented me from being active but I had forgotten that activity did more than just allow me to be more active.

Hey Cat... I know that feeling of overwhelming anxiety. I do think that engaging in some physical activity helps with running down some of that adrenalin that is pumping wildly. but sometimes I just need to try to sleep if I can and usually when I wake up it's better.

Your T's don't hate you at all and I know how strong and powerful those feelings are at times but they are feelings from the past that cannot hurt you now. You have survived the worst of your past and you are a strong adult now and your T's want the best for you because they really do CARE about you. They really do.

Hang in there. This will pass.

Hugs
TN