Hello Psychcafe Forum Members... I have not been around for a dog's age, and I feel badly that I have absolutely no idea what has been going on with all of you, and no time to do reading here anymore. I've got the feelings something is up, but I don't know what. However I just thought I'd drop in and say hi, to all you lovely ladies, and any or all gents who might be around- and might remember me.

I wanted to just go ahead and post an open letter to my counselor, to let you all know how it's going in my life, and hopefully you will all feel you can use this thread to post "letters" to your T's and we can read them all and share, if you want to. Here's mine:

Dear Cowboy T,

I want to thank you for helping me have a safe place to explore my problems and my life. I want to thank you for having such clear, though unspoken, boundaries- from day one, that have never changed or shifted- that I know exactly where I stand with you all the time. You are my counselor, and have never offered to be more. Thank you for being friendly, affectionate, interested, and for having no personal feelings/opinions or reactions to my stuff at all, beyond what is reasonable in the context of our relationship. Thanks for not taking the bait that I often realize, too late, that I offer, but matter-of-factly turning the conversation back all the time, to what my issues are. Thanks for challenging me, listening carefully, remembering our conversations, and showing real concern. Thanks for liking me. Thanks for saying things that encourage me to open up, like- "I'll look forward to our next session" and "this has been a very stimulating conversation" without it mattering overly much to you- you are strong enough that you neither need me, or dislike me. Thanks for not needing to be complimented. You are simply there. It's only recently that I have realized that you are very wise- and quite trustworthy in the way you try to get me to see things, even though you come across as kinda goofy, instead of some kind of sage.

Thanks for being both an awesome friend- and yet a total stranger. Thanks for keeping it real. Thanks for addressing stuff! Your ability to challenge and confront issues (like explaining why you said hello to my H and I when we ran into you at the park, instead of riding by like you normally would) really keeps me grounded in what our relationship is, and what it isn't. And then softening the pain of realizing that you normally wouldn't have said hi to me, with a comment about how cute my little girl is- that really helps, stuff like that! Thanks for never pulling me in, or pushing me away, but just being present. Thanks for being a sounding board, but never encouraging dependency- and being clear that you do not approve of fostering dependency. That was tough to swallow at first, but now I realize how much I need to learn that lesson, painful though it is, and continues to be.

In short- you never try to be anything for me that you cannot be. You never offer me anything that will leave me longing for more than you can consistently give me. I can count on you to be what you are- my counselor- not my dad, husband, lover, brother, coffee buddy, or anything else I may wish for in my life. I've made huge progress over the past year and a half.

Thanks for being humble enough to endure the pain of recognizing what your own limits are, Cowboy. Thanks for not trying to be god. You rock.

Affectionately,

Blackbird