In the languor of an early afternoon
In the comfort of a green loveseat, which has held its share of heartbreak
We sit in silence, side by side
Then I sigh, and lean into you,
Like slipping softly backwards into water, I can feel my limbs stretching out into the still expanse
And there we stay, for one unmeasurable minute
Two people in suspension
Half-merged, unstriving and enveloped in a present unclouded by desire
Looking up at the illimitable sky
But if I could wish for something, I would wish
This moment could spread backwards through my lifetime, like a vine twining over dead branches
Blossoming into a thousand memories of connection and delight
A bond forged over decades, a belonging, inseverable
An understanding and a joy too deep to measure
With branches reaching to shade me in the future
And roots extending even past my birth

For a second, I almost believe fantasy could replace history
Eradicating complicated facts and feelings
The hurts, the slights, the struggles and betrayals
The bitter disappointments and frigid inattentions
The best efforts and the inevitable failures
The sacrifices and the debts incurred
Truths that can never really be forgotten
Only disgested in the tiniest of sips
Rolled over and over again until the edges soften
Or carried through solidarity until my muscles strengthen enough to bear the weight
We survived each other, she and I
One day we may grow yet to forgive
But the past will not be changed
Not even by your presence in this moment
Still, I lean in further, and drink deeper, anyway
Intoxicated with the bitter sweetness of a might-have been
Savoring the unrecoverable wish