Hey AprilK,
I'm sorry you're having a tough time interacting with people. I just graduated college earlier this year, and it sounds like you're a lot like me. I can't handle all of the ruckus at parties because it stresses me out. And it does seem like that's all that other students are concerned with, doesn't it? Sometimes it's hard to find, but there are some people out there who are like you. They might take a while to find, but they're there.
I went to a smaller school for my first semester in college that I absolutely hated. It was pretentious and in a very small town, so drinking was pretty much the only sport. I visited a big state school with one of my roommates (who happened to be a lot like me and so we became good friends, and still are!) over break, and when I visited that other school, I realized that I wasn't at the right college for me. I transferred to another school for my second semester and knew I was there to stay. It was my kind of atmosphere and I was so much more comfortable. Ironically, it still took me a while to meet people and get involved, but I was so comfortable with the atmosphere and setting that it was okay with me. I love to sing and ride horses, so I joined one of the choirs on campus and I went to a meeting for the equestrian team. Trust me, I had a lot of nerves about showing up at these places, but the people at the new school were different than the last one. A lot more down-to-earth and just my kind of people. Not everything panned out, though. The equestrian team wasn't my cup of tea, so I stopped going, but I stayed in choir all 4 years and ended up president of the club (and I am NOT one of those really outgoing people!). I met some wonderful people through that club that I still keep in touch with.
During my first semester at the new school, I ended up in the counseling center, because I saw the door one day and thought, "Hmm..this might be a good idea." And it was (but it was actually more like me in a deep depression, not knowing what I'm doing in life and feeling desperate to the point that I decided to try therapy). It opened up a lot of doors, and I ended up finding myself as a psych major because of it all (plus, I'm still in therapy now, which has been very helpful). I loved all of my psych classes, and I ended up meeting my best friend in one of them a couple years ago, and I've never been so close to someone. She actually came up to me in that class and asked if I wanted to study with her. I was (am) like you - I barely share with anyone, even very close friends, and I'm not really one to walk up and just introduce myself. But when you find the right friends, they will be dare you to be more open, and you'll learn that with the right people, it's okay to do that. She's the only friend I've ever had who is like this with me, and I don't pretend to overlook the fact that I found this wonderful friend after I'd been in therapy for a while and learned a bit more about myself. She's okay with me not going to parties, even though she does sometimes, because we do other things, too. Sometimes you do have to dare yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do, but other times, you just know that it's never something you'll be comfortable with. If you don't want to go to parties, you don't have to. Even though it doesn't always seem like it, there are other ways to meet some great people, so you just need to find one of those ways. I decided a couple years into school that I wasn't going to force myself to go to parties, because I knew I wouldn't even meet people there that I would become friends with, because it wasn't my kind of scene. Maybe that's what you need to decide with yourself, too.
So, to sum up all of my long-windedness (sorry!), I think you need to find a way to do two things that are a little contradictory: find a way to become comfortable with yourself while still pushing your own envelope. It's okay that you don't party - it's good actually! - but you need to find another way to be around people so that you don't isolate yourself. Trust me, I've always skirted that line and lean more towards isolating myself, so it's not easy. But maybe with some help, like from a therapist, you can find your own niche. More than likely, your school has a counseling center on campus, so you should definitely check that out. There are often a lot more resources available to students than is immediately apparent, so just search a little! And even if you're not sure where to start, just ask a member of faculty and staff, and they can direct you to the right place. I now work full time at my university and can attest, at least at my school, to how much every faculty/staff member wants to help students.
Hugs to you - sorry for rambling on for ages and ages.
