HI All,
I think it was a good idea to move the discussion. Shrinklady, thank you for weighing in, I really like the idea of having a discussion area like the one for Intimate Discussions for which people would explicitly discuss the subject of suicide without the danger of people who do not want to read or discuss the subject getting triggered. I do feel like it's important that people be able to express their feelings and talk about them. I believe, based on my training on handling suicide crisis calls, that being able to talk about the feelings is the most effective way to have a person NOT act on them.

But I also get how difficult discussing this can be; especially the sense of powerlessness that can accompany hearing someone you care about talk about this. And for that reason I would want clear guidelines around the discussion. I believe that discussing the feelings surrounding wanting to die, and why should be acceptable. But I would never in any way want to endorse killing yourself as a viable option, or reasonable solution to someone's problems. I don't know if everyone would agree, but there are no circumstances under which I would find suicide acceptable although I certainly understand the desire. So I would prohibit discussing methods, encouragement to anyone contemplating suicide, or any statements of intention which include the time, place or method. I would want our approach to be one in which we are providing a safe confidential place to discuss these feelings but with the stated, explicit goal that the person not act on these feelings. I don't think I would feel comfortable participating without these guidelines.

I would be really interested in hearing other people's thoughts about guidelines.

AG

AG, I agree with your guidelines and think they make perfect sense and are very helpful.

The only problem I have with a forum like Intimate Discussions is that when I don't see it I forget about it and can't even find it. Could there be some link on the front page that takes you to the special topic forum where there can be different threads on different subjects... e.g. suicide talk, intimate discussions talk. Of course we will still need a password to access the forum itself.

I'm not a tech person so I don't know how difficult this would be to do. I did once belong to a writer's forum where there was a cateogory of writing that people would post where you needed to be over 18 to read it and you had to request a password from the moderators but the Title of the thread appeared on the front page with all the other threads kept there by use of a sticky.

Just some ideas for thought.

TN

TN and Draggers, a work around for now for the problem is to go into your profile under Notifications and turn on email delivery for the Intimate Discussions forum. That way you'll get an email, just as you do for a private message, whenever anyone posts in the forum.

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gosh...I'm really feeling upset. I have to say that anyone who is in that sensitive a frame of mind may not likely be thinking, "oh, I will just go and post on the sensitive issues forum." A cry for help is a cry for help, and *IMO* we should be available to help with that as best we can. I'm not sure it can *really* be controlled, people *will* make mistakes, forget trigger warnings, etc. when they are emotional and desperate.
I'm also feeling personally sad, heartbroken, that this discussion wasn't delayed until a more appropriate and less sensitive time- although I can totally understand the reasons behind that, not triggering others. However, a precious human life is at stake here, and I am concerned that just in having this discussion right away, immediately- may be triggering even more *undeserved* feelings of guilt for that dear person. I'm feeling so concerned that a persual of "proper rules" around thoughts of suicide- could easily be delayed until a time when no one on the forum is going to be potentially dangerously affected by such a discussion. I'm just really needing to say that, for the sake of someone I hold dear. But, I am very sorry if I have offended anyone, especially, if it comes across as ungrateful to you, Shrinklady. It is not my intent, to sound ungrateful or disrespectful- only, right now I am very very concerned about Smiley, and I believe that until we ascertain she is ok, this would have been better left. But it's too late for that now, the discussion is being had- I get that. *This is my opinion.*

You've made some *very* good points, DF...I was speaking from an emotional place. Cognitively, I know you are perfectly right, and likely Shrinklady has thought of all of this. Thanks for helping me realize some things I hadn't thought of. I *do* find the topic triggering, as well- but it's under control. I just thought maybe I should say that, so that you know that I *really do* get where you are coming from. I was just thinking about our friend when I wrote what I wrote.

hugs,

BB

DF...just wanted to add, that from my perspective you always seem like the opposite of insensitive, you are a very caring soul.

Hi Shrinklady
I'd like to add my vote for the special forum and the ground rules put forward so far are good! I also think a visible link could be created for any special forums with trigger warnings perhaps!
Again, thanks for stepping in.
Morgs

Hi Everyone, I'm really pleased with the community input in creating this new forum. These are excellent suggestions.

There are so many issues to consider. We might not be able to satify everyone's concern however hopefully we'll cover most of them. And we can always makes adjustments later based on our experience.

A few members were raising the problem of special forums potentially going unnoticed. In response I've now added the 'Intimate Discussions' forum to the home page. All visitors will see the name and its description. However it still requires special access. If you are logged in, you should see the latest post.

Shrinklady

thanks Shrinklady. Its a very good initiativ, and I hope too, that the spesical forum will cover most of the concerns thats been brought up here.

I still havent figured out (i know its been explained maybe a hundered times, sorry for asking again) how to access the intimate forum. I just tried again now, but i dont see any posters. Can someone fill me in and explain how i can get access to the Spescial forum? (i am still a little computer-retard here)

Hi Frog, I hadn't made the instructions that clear...hence why you might have forgotten. I've asked that folks request access by sending me an email. I'll be clarifying that information in the House Rules soon.

I've now added you to the group so if you try the link on the home page, you should be able to view the forum.

Best,

Shrinklady

Hi Shrinklady,

Thanks for moving the inimate discussions, I too was told many times how to access it but never really got the hang without going all roiund the houses!

Thank you Shrinklady for your help and support in starting the new forum section,

starfish

Yes, now i`m in! Thanks shrinklady!

Keep trying Starfish- lol, i am glad to hear i am not the only one being such a dummy orientating here on forum...good luck to you!