A therapy achievement..

I wanted to share a breakthrough for me. It's something that might not sound like it's much, but for me it means that I am very comfortable in my therapeutic relationship and I am growing towards a greater sense of self/independence.

My marriage has been off limits from therapy. I didn't feel like there were issues and I refused to acknowledge that anything could be wrong. But, as I become healthier and more aware of my own issues I started realizing that my marriage wasn't as healthy as I liked to believe and portray.

Last night in session, I LET her in. FINALLY. I started talking. It came out. I shared and we agreed that we'd work together. We'd teach me how to bring health to that relationship, and how to grow closer to my husband as I grow into a different person.

GOD, I love my T. She has been a life saver.

AND, I felt proud of myself for taking that step! For me, it was huge.

7/13/1211:48 AM

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True NorthCo-moderator

That's wonderful, discoveringme. You really are making progress and that was not easy to do. I hope your T helps you to improve in all areas of your life. It takes time but it is so worth it when you feel finally close enough to T to open up and really share. I still struggle with this but am moving forward.

Great work!
TN

7/13/1211:53 AM

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heldincompassionMember

That's wonderful, discoveringme! I was in therapy six months before I would even begin to discuss my marriage and even now I'm a bit cagey about it. So I know what a huge step that can feel like. It's difficult, but worth it!

7/13/1212:42 PM

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lieseMember

(((DISCOVERINGME)))

That sounds huge to me. It feels nice to let someone in, doesn't it? It took me 3 years, to be exact, to get into the particulars of my different relationships with my T. I didn't even refer to my brother and sister by name.

quote:
We'd teach me how to bring health to that relationship, and how to grow closer to my husband as I grow into a different person.

That's where I get stuck. I find maintaining my relationships as I grow into a different person to be a struggle. Keep me posted if you get any good tips from T.

7/13/1212:46 PM

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discoveringmeMember

Thank you!

I felt proud.

I am a little anxious because I didn't realize how much my marriage had been suffering until I started talking about it.

T thinks that H needs to do some of his own work because a lot of what I shared seems to be projection. When I mentioned to H that she recommended some couple sessions, he freaked out a bit. Anyone else have a similar experience with a spouse?

I'll be sure to share tips from T on this becoming a new healthy individual and maintaining/changing/and exploring new relationships. I told T this afternoon in an email that she was absolutely a genius. She is! I am so glad she's in my life because sometimes I think the healthier I become, the lonelier I feel.

--DM

7/13/125:15 PM

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lieseMember

(((((DM)))))

quote:
I am so glad she's in my life because sometimes I think the healthier I become, the lonelier I feel.

Oh, I get this. Yes my H needs therapy but he won't go either. My H had such a bad childhood that I can understand why he wouldn't want to open that box. But it's a bit frustrating. Give him time. Maybe he'll change his mind.

7/13/125:57 PM

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sdMember

Fantastic news DM..

7/13/128:58 PM

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born2writeMember

((((DM))))) Well done! You sure can be proud of yourself!

Liese, you know you said you want your H to go to therapy because of his childhood, well I don't know about others but for me I feel like this....I coped a lot better before therapy, but having gone to therapy I've learnt a lot - about myself and others and yes I feel a lot more lonely since going to therapy, because its opened up a can of worms that drives me crazy, and none of it is the sort of thing that I can talk about with my friends or family so it leaves me feeling desperately alone. Maybe your husband is coping - I wish I was.

Don't mean to take over your thread DM.

B2W

7/13/1210:38 PM

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